Injuries Whilst Eating

[Kerouac1964]

How well mannered.

Somehow I feel like Fredo in Godfather II, and you are my drunken wife trying to make a scene. Where's the moderator when you need one to escort you away from the table?

[yvonne johnson]

More on good manners. Five hundred years ago, the astronomer, Tacho de Brache didn't want to insult his guests by taking a leak during a banquet. His bladder ruptured, then he died.

[g.johnson]

Tycho (de) Brahe.

[g.johnson]

Tycho (de) Brahe.

Smug scientific bastard.

[Big Man]

More on good manners.  Five hundred years ago, the astronomer, Tacho de Brache didn't want to insult his guests by taking a leak during a banquet.  His bladder ruptured, then he died.

I believe he had some other acts of poor discretion, one of which resulted in his nose being lopped off in a duel with a student. Can't say whether food was involved.

[Steebles]

Big Man:

Isn't that what popcorn is for?

[Big Man]

Big Man:

Isn't that what popcorn is for? 

I've always put it only in my mouth. Obviously, I have much to learn.

[johnjohn]

Chipped a tooth on an olive pit during a flight from JFK to London. Had it fixed by a dentist at Heathrow Airport. People in the UK didn't think it was a big deal - people in America were shocked that I would go to a dentist at the airport.

johnjohn

[gknl]

I was sucking on an ice cube while waiting for the check at a brew pub and felt something stick in my tongue. I went to the bathroom and could feel the point of it sticking out, but couldn't see anything or grab onto it to pull it out myself. I drove to the ER where the doc extracted a sliver of glass about a half inch long.

I know, I know, that's what I get for drinking iced tea at a brew pub. . . .

[Lord Michael Lewis]

Tacho de Brache didn't want to insult his guests by taking a leak during a banquet.  His bladder ruptured, then he died.

I know how he felt. This has happened to me on more than one occasion.

[Suzanne F]

I seem to have missed a whole new page of injuries. Oh well. This refers to a post WAY back:

Varmint, your uvula story reminds me of a story I read years ago about someone burning his esophagus with some micro-waved pie. (Sorry, Jin!). Endied up in the hospital, and almost had his burn "go sour." Might have been in NY Press or some other similar rag.

Anyway, yes, the oddest most unexpected foods can give the worst burns. When I was a kid we used to go to Patrcia Murphy's on Long Island. Every time, my father burnt his fingers on the steam that leapt from their popovers.

Also, my husband was at the Kennedy Space Center when he popped out an inlay while eating a muffin at breakfast. He saved it in a plastic bag. The next day, when he and I met in San Francisco, our hotel found him a dentist who worked on Sunday and would cement it back in. Since the dentist was in Chinatown, we followed up with a great dim sum meal. Some injuries have silver linings!

[Big Man]

Varmint, your uvula story reminds me of a story I read years ago about someone burning his esophagus with some micro-waved pie. (Sorry, Jin!).  Endied up in the hospital, and almost had his burn "go sour."  Might have been in NY Press or some other similar rag. 

I heard McDonald's "Hot Apple Pies" were the source of much personal injury litigation.

I was once dumped by a very lovely lady whilst eating dinner. I carry the scars to this day. Does that count?

[steverino]

Old timer in neighborhood makes amazing kielbasa.

Mom is frying said kielbasa in pan.

Steve walks in, immediately intoxicated by smell, and proceeds to remove end piece from pan with fork.

I joyfully bit into it, and it sent a 4000 degree stream of juice directly into my right nostril, whereupon it then ran down down my upper lip area, continuing its flaming descent.

Of course, i had kielbasa for dinner.

I looked funny for 2 days.

(Most would say I always did...)

[KarenS]

I was hitchhiking with a friend in college. I was drinking a milkshake while we were waiting. I took off the lid and tipped the cup upside down (it was too thick for the straw at that point). The shake fell on my face (nose and mouth). I could not breathe and flung everything towards the street past my friend (exclaiming that I was suffocating). She laughed so hard that she had to lie down on the sidewalk.

I broke my front tooth (cap) on a baguette. Two weeks later I was chewing a pistachio and I broke a back filling. My dentist could not believe it- he thought that it was very entertaining.

I was making caramel ice cream wearing rubber slippers (thongs). I poured hot caramel on my foot while pouring the caramel in the cream. I managed to put the pan down in the sink before rushing to the hospital.

[coolhandluke]

Had some friends over for a bushel of steamed Maryland Blue crabs caked in Old Bay along with some ice cold beers. Slipped when splitting the top and bottom shells and slashed my hand on the barbs on the side of the shell. Old Bay seasoning sure doesn't feel so hot in a deep cut, no matter how many beers ya slug down.

[wawairis]

I've stabbed myself in the lip with a toothpick while eating a club sandwich. (DUH!)

I don't know if this is acceptable, but I once broke a toe when a marble paper towel holder fell on my foot.

[Big Man]

I was making caramel ice cream wearing rubber slippers (thongs). I poured hot caramel on my foot while pouring the caramel in the cream. I managed to put the pan down in the sink before rushing to the hospital.

I was personing the grill at a recent BBQ when I failed to notice a glowing coal falling out the bottom and landing/sticking to my shoe. "That's an intense itch" I thought. Soon I knew how Bugs Bunny's enemies felt, as I hopped around to stick my foot in the beer tub.

(But this goes beyone the caveat in the original post, which is injuries whilst eating, not cooking. Mea culpa.)

[=Mark]

Kiwi also has that same enzyme so it might do the same thing.

Speaking of hot peppers. My friend at school was cutting jalepinos in class one day and he went to the bathroom. When i saw him right after walking back from class because he had to go to the nurse right away there was tears in his eyes and he had to take a shower right away. I never saw someone walked buckled over in such pain. It was histericall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did the same thing after cutting serranos, luckily I was alone at home so nobody witnessed the chile cha-cha that followed.