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supermarket duh's


highchef

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Friday I went shopping for sauce ingredients for my butt..see behold my butt posts. Now get your minds out of the gutter.

Anyway as a true blue Louisianaian (?) I always check out the seafood. Shrimp boats pass in front of our place on river/ship channel daily. We are 7 miles from the gulf and have a cut to the lake in front of us and a marsh on the other side of the hwy. I don't usually buy seafood from the market unless it's something that I can't get locally, like salmon (I cannot spell). Anyway some giant shrimp caught my eye with sign on the tag stating that they were from Guatamala. Being the Smarta__ that I am, I mentioned that they must of had a heck of a swim. The child behind the counter says "no mam...they were shipped in yesterday!" :blink:

I realized I had a grin on my face cause I was about to crack up when everyone I passed 'smiled back' at me! I'm still grinning.....

He was a cute kid though. dumb, but cute.

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Well, I've been sitting here waiting for other people to respond to this thread because I think it could be fun, but no one has, so I guess I'll give it a try!

I was once at the grocery store, and I was standing in front of the butter/ marg section. For some reason I couldn't place my eyes on unsalted butter (I was baking cookies.) and I finally found it and picked it up, and the lady next to me said, "oh honey, I think you want this" and pointed to the salted butter. (I look young for my age, in reference to the use of "honey"!) And I said, "oh no, I'm making cookies and I need unsalted." And she said, "okaayy," like, it's your funeral! And then she walked away. I looked over at my boyfriend and he was doubled over laughing because apparently the look on my face was enough to make hell freeze over! I think she thought she was performing her public service duty for the day, but still... :wacko:

"Many people believe the names of In 'n Out and Steak 'n Shake perfectly describe the contrast in bedroom techniques between the coast and the heartland." ~Roger Ebert

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I think highchef's victim relocated to Ottawa and works at my local grocery store now.

Was in the other day to pick up raw, deveined shrimp. Asked for them at the fish counter and the brace-faced, pimpled attendant just stared at me, crinkled his brow and said "Whaaaa?". Then there was an awkward silence.

I laughed, which was instinctive I guess. He got it on the third try though.

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There was a previous discussion along similar lines:

"Things that make you go HUH?, people say the darnest things!"

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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I've had another...God I need a new place to shop.

Mam'm...over here.. oh..shi... not here, there then 10 other people go ing into line and she says "Oh, I wante'd HER over here!"..... what a riot. I had to let 5 people go in front just to save her ass. But, they say, that is what they do to save you money. They are saving cost, because they're cutting hours to part time ,not to pay benifits, but the cost come in other places. Albertson's per example has half the fulltime employees today than it had this time last year, and has closed stores all over. It's a shame, but maybe a boon for the small time grocer to make a come back??? I don't know. maybe.

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1 bag of mussels left at the seafood counter- wanted to see if they were still fresh, so I asked the man if he could hand them over (in another plastic bag, of course) so I could examine them.

Tapped on the shells to see if they would close. Look on Seafood Man's face was priceless. I said that I was just checking to see if they're still alive, and he replied, 'Oh- is that how you do it? I've never seen that before!'

Hoping he was just subbing in from another department..... :blink:

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At the market maybe a month ago, I saw a woman complaining to the manager that the bread she bought was a ripoff because it had "all these hollow holes" in it. She then said she never had this problem with wonder bread, and she would never be buying this "ripoff fake bread" again. The bread was of course a very good bread made locally. Well more for me I guess :biggrin: .

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Well, kind of along different lines, but who is tired of having to name every single piece of produce to the cashier. You should see the look on their face when I haul my countless bags on the checkout line. I usually have to explain what it is and what I'm gonna do with it too. :biggrin: .

-Becca

www.porterhouse.typepad.com

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Hm... not really a "duh" thing, but around here there's a local market chain (Acme) that has a "Meat Sale" a couple of times a year. I'd be curious to know if this happens with other chains around the country. Around here, you'll start to hear about it through the proverbial grapevine a few weeks prior. Your co-workers... "I'm gonna be late on the 11th. Acme's having their meat sale!" Your aunt or mother-in-law... "Dee Dee just called! Acme's having their meat sale on the 11th!" Rock bottom prices on all things meat! LOL.

Anyway... the point is that it's a madhouse. I think there are 16 locations in the area and it doesn't matter which one you go to... the word has already spread and you'd better be ready to fight for some meat. People recruit friends and family members for assistance in their meat-seaking missions. Someone has to stay with the car while the other does battle with the slipper and curler set. Husbands are drug, kicking and screaming, into the stores to guard the precious cargo that has made it back to the carts. The masses press forward towards the meat cases, people pushing and shoving, bellies pressing against backfat. Don't be picky. Don't dig through the piles, looking for the best piece. Just grab the quantity you need and get the hell out of there! Friends turn to enemies over bargain priced hams. Women in housedresses wait like Stones groupies outside the swinging doors; waiting for the man in the white jacket to appear with another armload of prime rib roasts. He has the eye of the tiger, but you can sense his fear when the women start clawing and tearing at eachother to snatch those paper wrapped treasures from his arms.

When it comes right to it, it's like a bloody feeding frenzy, only with mid-westerners instead of sharks. I have a small household and little freezer storage, but I still go to the meat sale... just to watch, and maybe to snag a $7 four pound bag of raw frozen shrimp.

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Mine was at Dorignac's last spring when I was buying four 1-lb bags of peeled Louisiana crawfish. I had a bad experience once before and was cooking for guests when I opened a bag and found that they smelled bad. Not wanting to ever go through that again (scramble for dinner while guests are hungry), I always have the clerk open a bag now so I can smell it. The guy told me that he wasn't allowed to open the bag.

Not wanting to accept that, I explained that I would be buying four bags (they're not cheap), and that I needed to ensure they were fresh. Not finding a manager, he gave me a look of disgust but agreed to open the bag. They were good. I was happy. So, he gave me four unopened bags and I told him that I needed the one he opened. "No, ma'am. We aren't allowed to sell anything that has been opened. I will have to throw that one away." They've done it for me before at various stores. I had no idea he would throw it away, but he did. Right in front of me with this little look of, "Are you happy now?" on his face.

I was just in shock and walked away with a blank look on my face.

Rhonda

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Becca, I'm with you. It's rare (outside of the local growing season) for me to have fewer than 10 different vegetables in my cart and it's a giant PLU-fest every time I check out. And not only do they ask what it is and what I'm going to do with it, they do so with turned-up noses, an "eeewwww" tone in their voices, holding it gingerly and reluctantly as if it were something the cat coughed-up. The shrink-wrapped decaying animal flesh doesn't seem to bother them, however.

I was a produce buyer for a natural food store in a previous life, and it wasn't unusual to get paged to the sales floor from my desk to identify rare and exotic things...like purple potatoes, sitting in a basket surrounded on all sides by more-common varieties. I guess it was just too big of leap for them. I had to fight the temptation to make up some outrageous, unpronounceable name and a tall-tale to back it up.

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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And not only do they ask what it is and what I'm going to do with it, they do so with turned-up noses, an "eeewwww" tone in their voices, holding it gingerly and reluctantly as if it were something the cat coughed-up.  The shrink-wrapped decaying animal flesh doesn't seem to bother them, however.

You should remind them that you should never yuck someone else's yum. :rolleyes:

Edited by Megan Blocker (log)

"We had dry martinis; great wing-shaped glasses of perfumed fire, tangy as the early morning air." - Elaine Dundy, The Dud Avocado

Queenie Takes Manhattan

eG Foodblogs: 2006 - 2007

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Heh heh . . .

The longer the check out line and the larger the audience, the more perverse I get.

I can usually count on a blank stare from the checker for at least one produce item. I can usually guess which one(s). So, while waiting in line I will let my imagination loose and think up an answer:

Today's fun was a two-fer.

Big jicama root: What is it? "Oh, my dear, that is a rare root that is imported from Uruguay." What do you do with it? "You peel it, shave it into thin slices and dry it. Then you roll it and smoke it for enhancement of sex."

Fresh horseradish root: What is it? "This is a really pungent root that was originally discovered in the tundra of Siberia but is grown here now." What do you do with it? No reply, just eyebrows heading for the hairline.

You get the idea. Since I am a short, dumpy middle aged lady I try to incorporate sex, drugs and rock and roll in there somewhere for the effect.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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Well, kind of along different lines, but who is tired of having to name every single piece of produce to the cashier. You should see the look on their face when I haul my countless bags on the checkout line. I usually have to explain what it is and what I'm gonna do with it too. :biggrin: .

Sometimes I don't bother and it works to my advantage. If the cashier doesn't know the difference between haricot verts and stringbeans, I deserve to save that $2 a pound.

Lisa K

Lavender Sky

"No one wants black olives, sliced 2 years ago, on a sandwich, you savages!" - Jim Norton, referring to the Subway chain.

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Well, kind of along different lines, but who is tired of having to name every single piece of produce to the cashier. You should see the look on their face when I haul my countless bags on the checkout line. I usually have to explain what it is and what I'm gonna do with it too. :biggrin: .

Last time I shopped at corporate mega-mart I was buying kumquats. The cashier-kid picked them up and gave me a kind of "these are cool- mini oranges!" comment. I agreed, being one who also likes mini-things. He then asks out loudly to the station next to his: "Hey Lucile! To look these up... is it c-u-m?"

I giggled out that they are spelled with a K... I guess I have to give him credit for knowing they were kumquats... or was that cumkuat?

flavor floozy

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Well, kind of along different lines, but who is tired of having to name every single piece of produce to the cashier. You should see the look on their face when I haul my countless bags on the checkout line. I usually have to explain what it is and what I'm gonna do with it too. :biggrin: .

Last time I shopped at corporate mega-mart I was buying kumquats. The cashier-kid picked them up and gave me a kind of "these are cool- mini oranges!" comment. I agreed, being one who also likes mini-things. He then asks out loudly to the station next to his: "Hey Lucile! To look these up... is it c-u-m?"

I giggled out that they are spelled with a K... I guess I have to give him credit for knowing they were kumquats... or was that cumkuat?

Actually, cumquat is a valid alternate spelling. We have some put up in brandy in a litre jar in the cupboard.

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Fifi, you have given me courage. Instead of thinking about making up lurid produce stories, I'm going to do it...just as soon as gas prices go down and I can travel to a grocery a little farther away from my 'hood. Although it might be fun to see how quickly the rumors ran full circle and got back to me!

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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At the market maybe a month ago, I saw a woman complaining to the manager that the bread she bought was a ripoff because it had "all these hollow holes" in it. She then said she never had this problem with wonder bread, and she would never be buying this "ripoff fake bread" again. The bread was of course a very good bread made locally. Well more for me I guess :biggrin: .

I'm speechless. I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

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fifi, you are my new hero.

I have to second that. Can I come grocery shopping with you?

Jennifer L. Iannolo

Founder, Editor-in-Chief

The Gilded Fork

Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Home of the Culinary Podcast Network

Never trust a woman who doesn't like to eat. She is probably lousy in bed. (attributed to Federico Fellini)

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I just ran into this one this evening. It is not a case of individual statement but one that I can't figure out. At my local Randall's they have a $1.99 per pound special on asparagus. Specials are usually featured in special bins and fridge cases in the entryway to the store. Here they have the asparagus all lined up artistically. Smack in front of the case there is a big display, making a "brick wall" sort of like shoring up the front of the case, of . . . Velveeta? Oh! And next to the Velveeta they have a similar display of the store brand "fake Velveeta." :blink::wacko: The mind boggles.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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I just ran into this one this evening. It is not a case of individual statement but one that I can't figure out. At my local Randall's they have a $1.99 per pound special on asparagus. Specials are usually featured in special bins and fridge cases in the entryway to the store. Here they have the asparagus all lined up artistically. Smack in front of the case there is a big display, making a "brick wall" sort of like shoring up the front of the case, of . . . Velveeta? Oh! And next to the Velveeta they have a similar display of the store brand "fake Velveeta."  :blink:  :wacko:  The mind boggles.

Hi fifi, since we're neighbors and shop at the same Randall's on 518, you might want to check out what I wrote about it a couple of months ago :biggrin:. Asparagus is on sale, you say? :hmmm::biggrin:

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