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A lasting and enduring love affair: ranch dressing

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I feel shallow speaking of biscuits in this very serious thread, but these are good:

We had lunch with friends several years ago, and I can't remember what else she served, but the biscuits were outstanding. They were golden and light, and had a perfectly-crumbly crumb inside, plus a lovely herby/garlicky flavor, like the most delicate herb/cheese biscuit.

We all commented on the delicious flavor and great texture and the crisp crust, and she said, "They're easy---just Bisquick and Ranch."

And they were. A glop of Ranch (regular, with real mayo and milk) in a couple of cups of Bisquick. She added a little sharp cheese, though the two-ingredient recipe didn't call for it. Onto a buttered pan, brush with more butter, hot oven, and some kind of alchemical miracle which changed those two church-cookbook items into bread fit for any table.

I've served them quite a few times; they are a lovely addition to salad lunches, especially chicken salad or a fruit plate. I even served them to Cap'n Kirk once. I think he pretty much likes anything.

Denny Crane!!

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Ok, that biscuit recipe sounds amazing. I'll be experimenting with um...learning to cook...for a month or so in the fall and I just added that to my recipe list, although I'd like to try it with a regular biscuit recipe rather than Bisquick. Not that there's anything wrong with Bisquick.

Basil endive parmesan shrimp live

Lobster hamster worchester muenster

Caviar radicchio snow pea scampi

Roquefort meat squirt blue beef red alert

Pork hocs side flank cantaloupe sheep shanks

Provolone flatbread goat's head soup

Gruyere cheese angelhair please

And a vichyssoise and a cabbage and a crawfish claws.

--"Johnny Saucep'n," by Moxy Früvous

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Covering a big bowl of bland greens with a mixture of reconstituted dairy, dried herbs and lotsa preservatives? Cool.

Using said mixture to dip bland cut vegetables in? Delicious!

Putting a pat of butter mixed with Roquefort on a steak? OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT'S BUTTER AND CHEESE ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? :huh::blink::shock::wacko::angry:

"Give me 8 hours, 3 people, wine, conversation and natural ingredients and I'll give you one of the best nights in your life. Outside of this forum - there would be no takers."- Wine_Dad, egullet.org

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I despise Ranch. I'm not generally a picky person but the very odor of the stuff makes me gag: the sourness, the dusty dried herb notes...yuck. Maybe my aversion is merely a holdover from my months in the kitchen at Carbur's restaurant in Vermont, where we mixed and served it, quite literally, by the gallon.

Ms. Spieler's homemade version sounds quite good, though, but failing that I'll stick to good oils and vinegars, with the occasional restaurant calorie splurge on bleu cheese...

Jennifer Brizzi

Author of "Ravenous," a food column for Ulster Publishing (Woodstock Times, Kingston Times, Dutchess Beat etc.) and the food blog "Tripe Soup"

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