I Can't Make Jello

[pamjsa]

All right, I admit it: I can't make Jello. Whenever I try, it refuses to gel. People stare at me when I tell them this; they're convinced I must be joking. When they realize I'm not, they laugh out loud. (Oh, the cruelty!)

My mother once insisted that I could make Jello. "Anybody can do it," she said. So she watched from over my shoulder while I carefully followed the directions on the box--and was stunned when the Jello didn't gel.

I've come to the conclusion that I must be missing the Jello gene. Fortunately, at this point in my life, I'm not particularly interested in making Jello; when I do, it's usually by way of demonstration (see above.)

What are the dishes you can't make, no matter how hard you try?

[Trishiad]

I can't get bread to rise properly. Counter, oven, water heater closet, on top of the fridge, outside in the backyard, it doesn't matter where I leave it or when I buy the yeast it just doesn't work.

I make great drop biscuits!

[Rebecca263]

I make lousy matzoh balls. No one ever believes me, because I "can cook anything!" but it is true. Fortunately my sister and my cousins can all make them beautifully. I love those girls!

[Bernaise]

cookies

my shortbread always spread and my florentines always clump.

[SuzySushi]

Pie crust or cut-out cookies. I have warm hands.

OTOH, I make great cakes, brownies, and other cookies.

[phaelon56]

All right, I admit it:  I can't make Jello.  Whenever I try, it refuses to gel.  People stare at me when I tell them this; they're convinced I must be joking.  When they realize I'm not, they laugh out loud.  (Oh, the cruelty!) 

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paraphrased from a random discussion on the Gardenweb forums

poured dry Jello mix into boiling water on stove and stirred mix in boiling water.... waited for a few hours to see results.  Jello was still soft - never got firm. Then,  had to read  instructions again. Instead of pouring Jello mix into boiling water, I had poured boiling water into a container and mixed the Jello, then let it cool off. Never cook Jello mix in boiling water.

I remember always seeing my mother use ice cubes in place of some of the water after the ingredients were first mixed. Don't know what it does but it worked.

I myself have never been successful at making traditional fudge that has the perfect fine crystalline texture. Just can't quite seem to figure out what the soft ball stage is really supposed to be like. I had similar problems on the two occasions when I tried to make hard toffee (butter crunch).

[lesfen]

Lately, I haven't been able to turn out a decent cookie to save my life. Seriously. Toll House, for crying out loud!! I've been blaming my new cookie sheets (Air Bake). I've lost my touch.

I'll give it another shot when this god awful hot summer is over.

[Taboni]

Lately, I haven't been able to turn out a decent cookie to save my life.  Seriously.  Toll House, for crying out loud!!    I've been blaming my new cookie sheets (Air Bake).  I've lost my touch. 

I'll give it another shot when this god awful hot summer is over.

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Toss the Air Bake sheets in the garbage. My mom had a couple and came to the same conclusion. They don't heat from the bottom at all, so by the time the bottom is remotely done, the rest is dry.

[Shalmanese]

I can't get bread to rise properly.  Counter, oven, water heater closet, on top of the fridge, outside in the backyard, it doesn't matter where I leave it or when I buy the yeast it just doesn't work.

I make great drop biscuits!

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Did you proof the yeast before you mixed? perhaps the yeast is dead.

[malarkey]

I can't get bread to rise properly.  Counter, oven, water heater closet, on top of the fridge, outside in the backyard, it doesn't matter where I leave it or when I buy the yeast it just doesn't work.

I make great drop biscuits!

HEY! Me neither!! What the hell is that?!? Sometimes I can make it work, but usually it gives me fits. I'm a yeast-killer. Yes, I proof the yeast (if by proofing you mean dissolving it in warm water first). I've been super anal about getting yeast started and following the recipes. Na-da. It rises a 1/2 inch then its done. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Once I went ahead and baked the rolls anyway. They were leaden and tasteless.

[Aileen]

Potato salad (mayo-based. I can make decent German potato salad.) Doesn't matter which recipe, it's always mediocre at best. I usually end up throwing most of it away. I've known people who almost never cooked who could make killer potato salad, but not me.

[Hest88]

I can't seem to braise anything. I brown the meat, add the wine and rest of the ingredients, and my meat always comes out tasteless no matter how carefully I thought I followed the recipe.

[lesfen]

Lately, I haven't been able to turn out a decent cookie to save my life.  Seriously.  Toll House, for crying out loud!!      I've been blaming my new cookie sheets (Air Bake).  I've lost my touch. 

I'll give it another shot when this god awful hot summer is over.

←

Toss the Air Bake sheets in the garbage. My mom had a couple and came to the same conclusion. They don't heat from the bottom at all, so by the time the bottom is remotely done, the rest is dry.

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Great.

[ellencho]

All right, I admit it:  I can't make Jello.  Whenever I try, it refuses to gel.  People stare at me when I tell them this; they're convinced I must be joking.  When they realize I'm not, they laugh out loud.  (Oh, the cruelty!) 

My mother once insisted that I could make Jello.  "Anybody can do it," she said.  So she watched from over my shoulder while I carefully followed the directions on the box--and was stunned when the Jello didn't gel. 

I've come to the conclusion that I must be missing the Jello gene.  Fortunately, at this point in my life, I'm not particularly interested in making Jello; when I do, it's usually by way of demonstration (see above.)

What are the dishes you can't make, no matter how hard you try?

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Damn, you must be covered head to toe in proteases if you can't get jello to congeal. Either that or you're a fresh pineapple

Me personally, I can't make corndogs (even from a mix) to save my life.

[Katie Nell]

Pie crust or cut-out cookies. I have warm hands. 

OTOH, I make great cakes, brownies, and other cookies.

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I could be your hands... mine are always like icicles, well, except for yesterday when I had an interview, and they were like wet icicles! Nice, huh?!? My fingernails and toenails are always purple!

[Katie Nell]

I can't make good chocolate chip cookies, and I've tried everything!

[Shalmanese]

I can't get bread to rise properly.  Counter, oven, water heater closet, on top of the fridge, outside in the backyard, it doesn't matter where I leave it or when I buy the yeast it just doesn't work.

I make great drop biscuits!

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Perhaps your water is too chlorinated. Try using bottled water and see if you get a better rise.

[Okbrewer]

I CAN'T MAKE FUDGE! Either I don't cook it long enough, I don't know what the softball stage is, or I don't beat it long enough! I can't figure out what I do wrong! When I pour it out to cool and set up, it just stays kinda gooey. It's great over ice cream, but that is not what I want!

OTOH, I make great toll house cookies, if I do say so myself! I use the recipe on the back of the chocolate chips and doctor it up a bit, but I think the key is using aluminum sheet pans and parchment paper. Also, don't bake them until they are too brown, just golden and then remove them to a cooling rack. Always come out chewy but done, I don't like em too gooey.

Now if I could just figure out fudge!

Edited August 3, 2005 by Okbrewer (log)

[saskanuck]

Pastry and cut out cookies are a challenge for me too because of the warm hands factor. My hands are downright hot most of the time, even in the dead of winter.

I had one hell of a time trying to make chocolate truffles at Christmas because my hands would melt the chocolate when I tried to roll them in cocoa. Finally I let the mixture set in a pan, cut them into squares, and had square truffles.

Edited August 3, 2005 by saskanuck (log)

[Jenny McClure]

I can't make decent boiled potatoes (I'm Irish, so it is kind of unconceivesble to my Mum). They are alwats, mushy, undercooked, some are cooked, and others aren't or the texture just isn't right. I can cook a potato in any other way, just not boiled. My family are convinced I'm lying to get out of it. but I really can't.

[divalasvegas]

I'm "gluten challenged." I can't make bread, biscuits, pizza dough, pie crusts,............ you name it. Even my dumplings (as in chicken and dumplings) are aren't very good (I usually resort to Bisquick). I'm so ashamed and frustrated that I think I should turn in my double-Southern girl card.

I always pay rapt attention to any cooking show where someone is demonstrating how to make any of the above and as always they come to that queasy (for me) moment when they talk about how the dough should "feel" or about not working "too much" flour into the dough when kneading or not putting in "too much" water or make sure you don't "overwork" the dough or that it "rests" enough and blah, blah, blah. Those concepts are just a little too abstract for me. How the Hell am I supposed to know how the stuff is supposed to feel or if I've overworked it? The process just seems too elusive as if I'm missing out on how to become one with the dough.

As for my long ago last attempt at overcoming this shameful condition, all I can say is that if anyone here had tasted my last batch of biscuits, well let's just say we wouldn't have had to go to Iraq to search for weapons of mass destruction!

Edited for spelling and to ask for directions to any thread(s) that addresses my affliction.

Edited August 3, 2005 by divalasvegas (log)

[lperry]

Eggs sunny side up.

Every time I need the yolk to be whole, I break it. If it doesn't matter, they come out perfectly. Maybe I have yolk anxiety.

-Linda

[Ninjai Fanatic]

Malarkey & Trishiad- what kind of yeast do you use?

What I realy can't make is the spring roll sauce which consists of soy sauce, sugar, pepper, and cornstarch. It always ends up like jello

I also can't make fudge. I usually get the taste but the consistency for both mentioned above - isn't right.

[sparrowgrass]

Not cooking, but food related--I can't grow zucchini. I can grow anything else, but zucchini seeds just fail to grow for me.

Not too worried--zucchini is not a favorite, but still. . . . .

[BarbaraY]

Lately, I haven't been able to turn out a decent cookie to save my life.  Seriously.  Toll House, for crying out loud!!      I've been blaming my new cookie sheets (Air Bake).  I've lost my touch. 

I'll give it another shot when this god awful hot summer is over.

←

Toss the Air Bake sheets in the garbage. My mom had a couple and came to the same conclusion. They don't heat from the bottom at all, so by the time the bottom is remotely done, the rest is dry.

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Great.

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I disagree. I use Air Bake pans for most cookies and have lovely results.

I don't use them for shortbread, scones or biscuits where I want a well browned bottom.