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Chocolate Desserts With Dangerous Sounding Names


slkinsey
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I was recently reminded by Strong Bad how incredibly annoying this is.

I can't tell you how content I would be if I never saw another dessert menu featuring confections named "chocolate decadence souffle" or "chocolate heart attack cake" or "chocolate explosion sundae." And why is it always "chocolate heart attack" or some variant like "mocha cardiac arrest?" Why are the other ogan diseases shortchanged? Why not "chocolate renal failure pie" or "valrhona cirrhosis ice cream?"

Can we all take a solemn vow never to name desserts like this ever again? If I see a dessert named "eXXtreem chocolateapalooza" or "chocolate poison" I might do something drastic. Like not eating it.

--

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You forgot "death by chocolate."

My personal favorite, a chocolate bombe I learned to make in college, was what we called "chocolate orgasm." :biggrin::laugh: Haven't thought of that (or made it) in years.

Though, Sam, how would you alternately name these desserts? Let's say it's a molten chocolate cake, or a flourless chocolate cake? If you're writing a menu, simply saying "Flourless chocolate cake," while perhaps, accurate, isn't going to elicit the same ooohing and aaaahing (esp. by chocoholics) as "Chocolate Decadence" or "Chocolate Heart Attack," now is it? So, rewrite the menu for us.

"I just hate health food"--Julia Child

Jennifer Garner

buttercream pastries

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I was recently reminded by Strong Bad how incredibly annoying this is.

I can't tell you how content I would be if I never saw another dessert menu featuring confections named "chocolate decadence souffle" or "chocolate heart attack cake" or "chocolate explosion sundae."  And why is it always "chocolate heart attack" or some variant like "mocha cardiac arrest?"  Why are the other ogan diseases shortchanged?  Why not "chocolate renal failure pie" or "valrhona cirrhosis ice cream?"

Can we all take a solemn vow never to name desserts like this ever again?  If I see a dessert named "eXXtreem chocolateapalooza" or "chocolate poison" I might do something drastic.  Like not eating it.

Oh jeez slkinsey! I wan me somes dat Redal Failure Pie please! Today has been a day of big laughs on eG! Thanks!!

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Can we all take a solemn vow never to name desserts like this ever again?  If I see a dessert named "eXXtreem chocolateapalooza" or "chocolate poison" I might do something drastic.  Like not eating it.

I hope very few take this vow as your position would then leave more for me! :raz::laugh:

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

Slow Food Saratoga Region - Co-Founder

Twitter - @docsconz

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As a chocolholic - I can assure you that as long as it definitely reads as being a chocolate dessert it does not require any stupid name. If you call it chocolate spear through the cranium all I know is that maybe you have a chocolate spear involved in some sort of soft mush encased in a shell but if you say its a meringe shell with vanilla creme brulee, ice cream, a hot liquid center chocolate cake aall bathing in wam fudge sauce - I am totally getting that. But I think that the funky naming conventions are sort of drifting dwon to the TGIF level - are they not?

Where does the incentive to come up with wierd names come from?

Is it a way to make your recipe seem more exciting that a zillion others almost exactly like it? But I guess the popularity of brownies and chocolate chip cookies would prove this wrong. 10 years from now - what are you gonna go to - a recipe fot hot agonizing burn in hell chocolate cake - or liquid ceneter chocolate cke? What's it going to show up as in the index?

Maybe its an '80s thing...

Edited by chefette (log)
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I've been lurking for sometime, but "chocolate renal failure pie" made me laugh so hard I had to say thank you.

I'd been having a pretty dull day and now I feel better.

"It is impossible not to love someone who makes toast for you."

-Nigel Slater

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Yes, especially since the implication behind all these names is that chocolate is not good for you. And we all know that that is not true.  :rolleyes:

Sure, its not the cacao beans in something like "Death by Chocolate" that is bad for you, its the half gallon of cream and three pounds of sugar in each serving. :wink:

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced" - Vincent Van Gogh
 

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Yes, especially since the implication behind all these names is that chocolate is not good for you. And we all know that that is not true.  :rolleyes:

Sure, its not the cacao beans in something like "Death by Chocolate" that is bad for you, its the half gallon of cream and three pounds of sugar in each serving. :wink:

The chocolate is the saving grace. Maybe the dessert should be retitled, "Salvation by Chocolate".

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

Slow Food Saratoga Region - Co-Founder

Twitter - @docsconz

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I vote that we now start naming chocolate desserts after mental disorders.

How about Muchausens cocoa surprise? The server feels compelled to lie about how wonderful the dessert is but when they bring it to the table, you realise that it actually doesn't contain any chocolate.

Chocolate-lemon bipolar granita? two popsicle sticks of chocolate and lemon, placed on a spinning plate.

Obsessive Compulsive truffles? A 50/50 mixture of 50% cocoa chocolate and 50% butterfat cream made into perfect 5cm balls placed in a 5x5 grid with each ball being 5 cm away from each other ball. The dessert is eaten starting in the middle and working in a clockwise direction with 5 sips of water after every 5 truffles.

Post-Traumatic Stress Gateau? A cake shaped into the face of an evil clown with a microphone embedded inside it making diabolical cackling sounds, gives you nightmares such that you never approach either chocolate or the circus ever again.

PS: I am a guy.

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The one I just can't bring myself to order is from the Outback: The Chocolate Thunder from Downunder~ eeeeeeewwwwww!  Who would want to eat that?????

I did once, rather tasty, as far as mass-produced desserts go. Then again, cover anything in enough fudge and whipped cream and I'm sure it can be quite delectable. (not gourmet, mind you, but tasty)

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The one I just can't bring myself to order is from the Outback: The Chocolate Thunder from Downunder~ eeeeeeewwwwww!  Who would want to eat that?????

I did once, rather tasty, as far as mass-produced desserts go. Then again, cover anything in enough fudge and whipped cream and I'm sure it can be quite delectable. (not gourmet, mind you, but tasty)

I get that its a chocolatey dessert it just sounds to me like they are talking about sh**!

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I agree with you about these stupid names for chocolate desserts.

Can we also put an end to "Undercooked chocolate cake with raw egg oozing from the middle" type desserts too?

I dont even like that gum that squirts in your mouth.

Eeewww.

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The one I just can't bring myself to order is from the Outback: The Chocolate Thunder from Downunder~ eeeeeeewwwwww!  Who would want to eat that?????

How about Chocolate Bladder Blaster -- dessert you can depend on.

Kevin

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. -- Mark Twain

Visit my blog at Seriously Good.

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  • 1 month later...

Personally, I've come to see that over 99% of the desserts in this classification are the horrifying defeat of quality by quantity... an oversized, cloying, indistinct mass of chocolate-flavored products of mediocre or poor quality.

Take for example, the abuse of Death By Chocolate.. what is actually a relatively sophisticated blending of harmonious flavors and layers of quality sub-recipes (mocha mousse, dark chocolate brownies, mocha rum sauce, meringue) with an interesting contrast of flavors, textures, colors and even temperatures. A fitting dessert... for an entire table, of course. :raz:

This literally 3,000 calorie creation has been bastardized by chain restaurants and "Taste of Home" magazine devotees into slapped-together piles of processed subpar ingredients, including such crimes as chocolate cool whip, storebought chocolate cakes, jarred hot fudge, instant puddings, oreos, you name it.

One bite, and it's easy to hate the phrase "Death by Chocolate" and its variants strictly by their association to these frightening takes on the pastry arts!

"Give me 8 hours, 3 people, wine, conversation and natural ingredients and I'll give you one of the best nights in your life. Outside of this forum - there would be no takers."- Wine_Dad, egullet.org

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Or how about if we just get brutally honest about all this? :blink:

Chocolate MegaHips Cake

Chocolate Triple Chin Pie

Chocolate Flabby Arms Mousse

Triple Chocolate Blubber Butt Dessert

You get the idea. :laugh:

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I don't really mind the over-the-top names...what gets me is that they seem to be soley for chocolate. Where is "Death by Lemon" or "Caramel Damnation" ?? One of the best names of all is "Better than Sex" cake. A different kind of "dangerous." :biggrin:

P.S. Loved "Triple Chocolate Blubber Butt Dessert"!!!!! I think I may have made that once, actually. :)

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