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In search of a monkey table?


Daniel

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I am looking for first of all the name and second of all a place where i can get one of these Monkey Tables. I know it might sound morbid, but I think it would look cool in my dining room..

If you dont know what I am talking about, its those tables where you can stick the monkeys from the neck up through the one side of the table.. Its used in countries that eat monkey brains.. I have absolutely no intention of eating monkey ever.. Definately a great dinner conversation..

Thanks..

Edited by Daniel (log)
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The live-monkey-brains thing is an urban legend. So why not make your own table? Just buy a cheap wooden table, saw out a hole in the middle and attach a few clamps. Stencil an arrow pointing to the hole and the phrase "MONKEY HEAD GOES HERE" and you're in business!

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If you dont know what I am talking about,  its those tables where you can stick the monkeys  from the neck up through the one side of the table.. Its used in countries that eat monkey brains.. I have absolutely no intention of eating monkey ever.. Definately a great dinner conversation..

Thanks..

If not monkey then what? :raz:

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

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The live-monkey-brains thing is an urban legend.

I was reading a book the other night and in the chapter on James Beard it mentioned that he once told the story of a monkey table, and I'd bet dollars to donuts that's where it started. That and Indiana Jones.

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I was reading a book the other night and in the chapter on James Beard it mentioned that he once told the story of a monkey table, and I'd bet dollars to donuts that's where it started. That and Indiana Jones.

Does he give a date? There was evidently a columnist who invented it in 1948. And, of course, Faces of Death. But I have a special place in my heart for Indy's version.

Snake surprise, anybody?

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The live-monkey-brains thing is an urban legend.  So why not make your own table?  Just buy a cheap wooden table, saw out a hole in the middle and attach a few clamps.  Stencil an arrow pointing to the hole and the phrase "MONKEY HEAD GOES HERE" and you're in business!

If I only had the skills.. Perhaps someday I will get one made for me.. I wouldnt want something stenciled, I was looking for an authentic monkey table with some old wood.. I am going to China in October and meeting this psycho guy I do business with who tried to get me to eat the official dish of his town.. "Tiger Fights Dragon" is the translation.. A spicy cat and snake dish, so I am sure if people eat it, he knows about it..Along with several bottles of rice wine, he ate most of the dish while i watched in respectable horror. Among him trying to find me the spiciest dishes at Sichuan Places, we drove 2 hours to try his favorite snake restaurant. I cant wait to document my next visit..

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If you dont know what I am talking about,  its those tables where you can stick the monkeys  from the neck up through the one side of the table.. Its used in countries that eat monkey brains.. I have absolutely no intention of eating monkey ever.. Definately a great dinner conversation..

Thanks..

If not monkey then what? :raz:

Monkey is so last year plus a litte chewy, I strictly serve Orangatang at my house..

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The live-monkey-brains thing is an urban legend.  So why not make your own table?  Just buy a cheap wooden table, saw out a hole in the middle and attach a few clamps.  Stencil an arrow pointing to the hole and the phrase "MONKEY HEAD GOES HERE" and you're in business!

You really think monkey brains is an urban legend? I have no factual information to add, just observations. Cultures eat the animals that are around, and most cultures utilize the majority of their kill.. I mean the tutors ate everything , people eat beating snake hearts, we eat cowbrain tacos, bbq pig noses and feet, head cheese, tongues, lamb eyes, and testicles of every creature endowed enough to fill a plate. I have seen huge charter bus luggage compartments filled with dogs in China... What so sacred about a monkey.... I mean, if i never saw tarzan, or Friends, I wouldnt think twice about eating me a double monkey with cheese...

Edited by Daniel (log)
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No doubt there are people who eat cooked monkey brains. But live, screaming monkey? Unlikely. Testament to its urban legend-hood is that stories about monkey brains are always told about other people: somebody will know a guy who said he saw it. Or one ethnic group will claim that another ethnic group eats the 'brains. So I'm skeptical until I get a first-hand report; if you actually see it, you'll have quite the scoop. Er, journalistically speaking, that is...

(P.S.: There is a kind of Chinese mushroom called "monkey heads". Not quite the same, though.)

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Re the urban legend idea: a few years back (1992) I was taking an advanced Chinese language course in Beijing. One quarter of the course was a conversation course called 'Chinese culture', and the guy who taught it was of the opinion that Chinese culture meant food and nothing else (with the occasional excursion into beverages). Long, long discussions about all types of Chinese food went on. My kind of conversation course. :rolleyes:

Anyway, this guy was so passionate about food that all his vacation time was spent travelling around China for the purposes of eating. (This included things like travelling for 4-5 days straight by train without any place to sleep or lie down - unable to afford that kind of luxury, as the tickets cost so much more).

One of the things he mentioned wanting to eat was the monkey brain stuff... Now it's possible that he got the idea at some point from foreign students, as that was who he was interacting with. However, he said that he had learnt the idea from other Chinese. This is also in pre-Internet times! So if it's an urban legend originating in the English speaking world, then it's managed to spread pretty thoroughly (though that is of course what such myths tend to do, particularly when they sound gross). Alternatively, it's origins as a myth may actually lie elsewhere. I don't know.

In China, the story was that you could eat them in Yunnan province. This backs up the usual aspect of this story - it's always some weird, foreign 'others' who eat this stuff. For those who don't know, China has 50-odd 'minority nationalities' (the number changes from time to time depending on who is counting, and how they've decided to categorize 'minority nationality'), and by far the greatest number are in Yunnan province - the area down south bordering onto Vietnam, Laos, Burma, etc. For a lot of Chinese from other regions, this is the place around which you centralize your fantasies about what 'exotic other people' do, whether it's bathing nude in public in the rivers, or eating monkey brains...

Now, this guy ate everything he could lay his hands on. Including protected species like pangolin (scaly ant eater) and so forth. :sad::angry: He couldn't find reference to people actually eating monkey brains anywhere at all, no matter how much he looked. And if HE couldn't find it... More evidence (anecdotal to be sure) pointing to it being a myth.

And Daniel, do be aware that most of the less commonly eaten animals in China, such as snake, dog, cat, turtle, etc. are usually reputed to be aphrodisiacs! Strictly speaking, such foods are considered to be 'heating', and this can refer to how it will affect your body temperature, or hmm, 'other things' so if you eat them in winter, you are less likely to have people speculating about why you are eating them, or possibly even laughing at you behind your back!

I was living in a fairly small Cantonese town for some time, at a period earlier than studying in Beijing. My (female) friends would only eat snake and so forth in winter, as they considered it embarassing to be seen eating it at other times of the year - small place, lots of people knew each other, speculation about what they were up to, etc. :wink:

And a slightly off-topic rant. I would always get pissed off by foreign tourists in China who started assuming that any meat they ordered was going to have bits of cat, dog, or whatever sneaked into the dish. Some people would even go vegetarian for the length of their stay in China because the idea bothered them so much. Another urban legend.

These are luxury items, you pay more for them - often a LOT more - and usually have to go to restaurants that specialize in their preparation.

Also, if ordering snake, don't get snake with the bones still in, unless you like chewing meat out from around numerous small bones, in the same manner as chicken necks! :wink:

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When I go to China, I am normally in very rural areas researching factories with an occassional day or two stop over in Hong Kong or Shanghai.. In rural areas, I rarely find places that debone meat for you even upon request.. I have heard them deny requests by people to deshell shrimp.. I have definately had to deal with the extremely boneyness of snake and turtle.. I never realized how many little bones turtles have even in their one little foot..

In terms of Monkey Brains, I am really enjoying the conversation and learning that I might never get my Monkey Table without having it made.. I dont really remember what it looked like, but I might have to watch Indiana Jones with a carpenter..

You professor seems like a very interesting guy, we need to get him on Egullet.. I would love to read an adventure of eating story written by that there feller..

Edited by Daniel (log)
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With the snake, it's not so much a matter of deboning as of having cut the snake differently. It can get cut along the length of the snake in rings, with all the flesh surrounding the bone still intact. That's when it's a nuisance to eat.

Sometimes, however, it's offered as 'shreds', and this usually means they've gone along the sides of the snake cutting it in long fillets, which are then sliced into smaller shreds. The bones in this case get used for soup stock.

Of course, some snakes just don't have enough meat on to make this feasible. I'm sure the meatier ones that won't have bones when being served will be way more expensive...

Turtles' FEET?! That's a new one for me.

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While in Shanghai about three or four years ago we went to this place right across the street from our hotel as we arrived rather late... Knowing I like to try different foods I was excited to see the waiter come to the table with a red bucket.. After seeing many people along the road with red buckets filled with in season crabs, I assumed this is what I was getting... In turned out that In this red bucket was a turtle. Our chinese speaking associate gave a nod and the turtle was taken back into the kitchen and was most likely adopted as a pet and went on to live a very happy comfortable life.. :biggrin: They brought out a different cooked turtle that was prepared several different ways.. There was a soup, there was some other dish, and then there was turtle prepared with this sweet glaze on it.. Anyway, i am sure we ate every part of it.. The meat was extremely boney and while spitting out my ninth little curved hammer looking bone, my guy jealously looks over and tells me I must have one of the feet..

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Anzu, thanks for passing along your professor's insights, and your own. That's interesting to hear about Yunnan: is the perception of "foreignness" in that province associated with an idea that it's backward/primitive, or just "other"?

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I ate snake once, at a Rattlesnake Roundup. With my feet tucked under me in my chair, as the tent was not QUITE far enough from all the action outside.

The meat was white, tender, a big old 3/4 inch thick piece of "chicken," breaded and fried and bunned up exactly like the Colonel's finest. Some joker had put two little thin dill slices on each one, an homage to our area having no Chic-fil-A, I suppose.

No bones. And I don't know if they were frozen or came from that day's catch, though there was no evidence of mayhem other than yelling and jumping and the filling of bags and cages. And rattling---loud, hissy rattling. Everywhere.

:shock:

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[...]I am going to China in October and meeting this psycho guy I do business with who tried to get me to eat the official dish of his town.. "Tiger Fights Dragon" is the translation.. A spicy cat and snake dish, so I am sure if people eat it, he knows about it..Along with several bottles of rice wine, he ate most of the dish while i watched in respectable horror.  Among him trying to find me the spiciest dishes at Sichuan Places, we drove 2 hours to try his favorite snake restaurant. I cant wait to document my next visit..

Chinese Road Trip I. Yeah!!

Michael aka "Pan"

 

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Daniel, I originally posted a link here with some chinese magazine scans that I found in a blog, but decided that the illustrations are probably just going too far... Dunno why I was even encouraging you! :huh:

EDITED to remove uneccessary link.

Edited by Josh (log)

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." -- Mark Twain

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Hasn't anyone else been through seeing the video Faces of Death....they do the whole monkey table thing right there on the movie....its an old movie

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I can certify that such a thing doesn't exist in India and will put it down to 'Turban' legend. :laugh:

"Ah! Dessert... .Chilled Monkey-Brains!"

Chilled monkey brains?  Try whipped cream and food coloring and Jell-O - that's what Kate Capshaw was really served in the dinner sequence.

I once trapped a monkey just because everybody said it couldnt be done, I can tell you that was a chilling experience. I let him go before the rest of his troop arrived. Brrrr...never again. Right now I am content to let them pass peacefully through my backyard

I fry by the heat of my pans. ~ Suresh Hinduja

http://www.gourmetindia.com

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Monkey table! Monkey table! Monkey table!!! Please encourage me.. Can you PM the link at least.. I needs to get my monkey on..

This is no way to impress the ladies, Daniel...

Fine. I have no idea if it came from a humor book, tabloid -- or heaven forbid, a cookbook :shock:

Any of our Chinese-reading friends care to translate?

And here's another link for a 1998 article with pics from the Hong Kong Apple Daily (tabloid) about something called the "Man Han Quan Xi 蘋 果 日 報 - Manchu-Han Complete Banquet" in Guangxi that serves (served?) live monkey brains.

I'm sure it's all bunk. Poor monkeys... :sad:

Edited by Josh (log)

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." -- Mark Twain

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No need to translate, as it's already been done :smile: . The two links are referring to the same article. It's from a Hong Kong-based tabloid, so taking it seriously would be rather like considering an article in the Weekly World news to be truth.

The second link is particularly worth checking out, though, as the writer has links to his/her own annotated bibliography to reports of monkey-brain eating, and a thoughtful article as well about the myth.

That's interesting to hear about Yunnan: is the perception of "foreignness" in that province associated with an idea that it's backward/primitive, or just "other"?

Andrew, in my experience, there are extremely few instances anywhere in the world where the perception of 'foreignness/difference' is NOT laden with value judgements about backwardness/primitiveness, or the converse. China is not an exception.

Episure: my sympathies! Is it true that they can carry rabies in India? My in-laws, when we're in Delhi, are always telling me to keep all the doors to the outside closed, as otherwise monkeys will come in looking for food (even though we're in a highly urban built-up neighbourhood). They actually did go into our neighbour's place and plunder the fridge! (the neighbours were home at the time, closed all doors to that room, and waited till the monkeys left of their own accord). Even without rabies, I feel they could get pretty nasty.

Of course, one could always try eating them instead... that should solve the problem of marauding neighbourhood monkeys.

Maybe I should just send the address and a key of our Delhi apartment to Daniel, and let him at them. :raz::wink:

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Episure: my sympathies! Is it true that they can carry rabies in India? My in-laws, when we're in Delhi, are always telling me to keep all the doors to the outside closed, as otherwise monkeys will come in looking for food (even though we're in a highly urban built-up neighbourhood). They actually did go into our neighbour's place and plunder the fridge! (the neighbours were home at the time,  closed all doors to that room, and waited till the monkeys left of their own accord). Even without rabies, I feel they could get pretty nasty.

Of course, one could always try eating them instead... that should solve the problem of marauding  neighbourhood monkeys.

Maybe I should just send the address and a key of our Delhi apartment to Daniel, and let him at them.  :raz:  :wink:

Anzu,

Urbanisation has made monkeys dangerous and they have lost their fear of man, unlike those in the wild.

Last week, a similar incident hapened in my brother's house who lives on the sixth storey! His daughter in law was alone and had to lock herself in her bedroom while these guys ran amuck in the living room and the kitchen. They polished off a dozen top grade Alphonso mangoes from the fridge, two packets of Oreos and did a take away on a lot of other stuff. Funny thing is all the mango skins were deposited in a tidy pile on a newspaper. Neat eaters. Apparently they were viciously snarling and advancing at anyone who tried to shoo them away.

Yes, there have been cases of Rabies from monkeys.

I used to know a guy who had a chunk of his butt taken off by these critters.

I'm getting weird thoughts about making a Simian masala. :blink:

I fry by the heat of my pans. ~ Suresh Hinduja

http://www.gourmetindia.com

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To quote from the Apple Daily article:

Either way, the monkey cannot attack but still feels an extreme amount of pain.

I have it on not-the-best authority (Thomas Harris/Hannibal, episodes of ER) that there are no nerve endings in the brain. The brain itself requires no desensitizing drugs during brain surgery.

So once the monkey gets over the trauma of its skull being removed, it shouldn't really feel anything.

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