Learning to Cook: How Members Did

[Degustation]

My dad was a chef and owned a restaurant and since my Mom also helped out, my brother and I were often left to fend for ourselves for weekend dinners. At the beginning, my Mom would do the "mise-en-place", and then leave it for us to cook. Very basic stuff that we would finish cooking.

Eventually, (around 11-12) I began to get interested in doing the cooking myself. I started experimenting with things that sounded interesting such as toad-in-the hole (my baby sister loved this and I would always use this to bribe her to be good) and apple strudel (what a disaster! - didn't get the concept of stretching the dough to be ultra thin - and thus to this day I don't do a lot of baking - too formulaic but would love to be able to bake bread/Chinese buns). I don't remember having a lot of cookbooks when I was a kid so I don't know where I found the recipes. I think I made up for it now because I've accumulated quite a few books over the years.

I remember getting a kiddie kitchen grill for Christmas. I fried an egg or something out of curiosity but I found it to be so lame since I was already using a real stove.  

Unfortunately, I never really saw my Dad when I was younger because restaurant life is long and hectic as you all know. I've only started to get to know him in the last few years and have learnt some things from him but wish I could have learnt from him when he had more energy. I am the only one out of my two siblings who became really interested in food and its preparation.

[cabrales]

Jean Louis, which was Jean Louis Palladin's place.  I was totally overwhelmed.  I had no idea what I was ordering, but I told the waiter to surprise me.  It was my first experience with foie gras and truffles.  It knocked my socks off.

. . . my female friends grew in number.  They'd even call me!  This was how I impressed the women who became my wife 10 months later.

Varmint -- Your story is so nice.   You had truffles and foie gras for the first time during the same meal? That must have both thrilling and confusing. Sometimes, in the case of a special restaurant, I feel like some of the products I take there (even though I have consumed the product many times before) are so ravishing in the restaurant's hands that it is as though I were almost sampling the "real" product for the first time. I wouldn't trade those moments for very many things.

On the benefits your cooking brought to your social life, how did your female friends know you were a good cook? Would you cook for groups of platonic friends that included women, for example? Also, do you remember still at least a few of the dishes you made that impressed your wife?  

[cabrales]

My dad was a chef and owned a restaurant . . . . I've only started to get to know [my dad] in the last few years and have learnt some things from him but wish I could have learnt from him when he had more energy.

Degustation -- A belated welcome to eGullet   (Also, nice Avatar, if I may say so  )

If you're comfortable discussing it, what does your dad presently think of your cooking, and you of his? Do you cook together sometimes, or is that tiring for him?

[Varmint]

On the benefits your cooking brought to your social life, how did your female friends know you were a good cook? Would you cook for groups of platonic friends that included women, for example? Also, do you remember still at least a few of the dishes you made that impressed your wife?  

First, I would merely drop a hint that I liked to cook as a topic opener.  If the woman was interested in food at all, she generally would follow through with the discussion.  Before you know it, I'm asking, "You ought to let me cook for you some time."

A later roommate and I also had an annual party that we put on -- it was a pig pickin' (that's what we call pig roasts down here) that we held for 150 of our closest friends.  I'd get up early in the morning and get the fire going and proceed to cook a sizeable swine (head on, of course).  It was always quite an endeavor to keep the fire box going and feed the cooker with the hot coals.  Plus, I made my own NC-style sauce that had non-traditional elements in it.  Needless to say, this party was quite a scene (I've always thought it was due to my cooking -- which also included homemade slaw, hush puppies, and other items -- but others claim the beer truck we borrowed from a friend of a friend was the major influence).  Anyhow, many of my female friends learned of my cooking in this manner.

As for my wife, the first thing I ever cooked for her was a homemade deep-dish pizza that I delivered to her doorstep while she was studying for one of her med school exams.  I spent as much time figuring out how to get it to her house without getting soggy as I did eating the damn thing, I recall. The first true dinner was not all that ornate -- seared tuna with a blood orange type of sauce.  Something that I don't think I'd do today.  I also baked a lot of bread (her ultimate weakness) and made a lot of homemade pasta with local produce and seafood.

It's funny, but when the bar is set so low for the world of men cooking, it's easy to sail over it without much difficulty.  I find that the bar has gone up significantly over the years.

[Basildog]

Cabrales.. i'm still blushing at being called a professional.

Cooking started fairly normally, biscuits and cakes with my mum.My mum was  self taught and very good.Chinese was a fave with her and this was in the late 70's.I don't know had she did it, 3 kids ,job, dog and we never had a shop bought cake! A big influence on our home cooking was the man nextdoor who worked at an abatoir, who would bring round my mums order.Big piles of meat to be sorted, minced , made into burgers etc. Ox hearts for Sunday roast! Fantastic. I would have the left over meat in sanwhiches for school on Monday.My freinds would freak out .

Next big influence was my Grandmother and Grandfather who had retired to a place in Lincolnshire .They lived on a old market garden property. Aga cooking, homemade pickled onions, ketchup, chutneys. My Grandad growing marrows, courgettes, aubergines, tomatoes. A few chickens or rabbits bought at auction..all to be eaten.

Left school at 16 and took a 2 year "General Catering" course at Tech College. Taught me a little, but good fun. Then worked job to job, drifting around the midlands .Looking back, most of those jobs were appalling, but they did teach me how not to cook.

What i have learnt so far has been from the chefs i have worked for and with.TV , books and now the internet are all playing there part in teaching me more.

[cabrales]

. . . now the internet are all playing there part in teaching me more.

Basildog -- When you have a chance, could you please discuss whether eGullet has prompted you to think about ingredients, flavor combinations, etc. that have ended up in, or influenced, a dish served at your restaurant?  

[Basildog]

Cabrales... eGullet has not yet directly influenced the menu my place.So far, i have mostly be interested in the reviews of other places by 'real' people, and feedback from them about what people want from dining out.My menus tend to be based on whats is avaliable to us on a day to day basis, but in time, i'm sure something i read here will spark me off onto something  

[Degustation]

Hi Cabrales,

Unfortunately, my Dad and I live in different cities so we don't get together too often. There's also a language barrier so it's difficult to discuss things. When I visit, my Dad goes the whole hog and prepares lots of great dishes which is really wonderful. He and I also share similar food tastes - hot and spicy and enjoying a great variety of foodstuffs my siblings wouldn't touch. I often hang around him when he's cooking so I can pick up things.  

I remember helping out by cooking the turkey over the holidays one year in my parents' kitchen, but my Dad kept on hovering so much it made me nervous. I accidently pierced the bird, while flipping it and all the juices ran out, making it quite dry. He usually claims that he just wants to show me, but eventually ends up doing it. Since he's older now, he doesn't do that as much.

This last Christmas dinner, along with my parents' dishes, my contribution was a Potato, leek, guyere gratin; and desserts - double chocolate cake with mocha buttercream,  rugulach, lemon butter bars, brutti ma buoni, and chocolate truffles. Since there were literally too many cooks in the kitchen in this family affair, I had to either bake late into the night or cook around my mom and dad doing as they were doing their mise-en-place. No way would I set foot in the kitchen while my Dad was cooking; when he's on a roll, he's on a roll.

You will note that the above dishes are things my Dad would never do, and I have never tried making oriental dishes for him. He does praise my dishes in front of the family when we sit down to eat. Thus I want to get better at making chinese buns to show him I actually learned something from him - can't show up with an inferior product...but gosh darn it - I'm just not a bread person!!

[JSD]

..

[nyfirepatrolchef X]

mostly from watching my mom doing the evry day stuff...when I was old enough not to remove body parts wi th sharps I was allowed to prep and add stuff to the pot.  first rule was presantation is everyhting.

at times like easter my pop would do the ethnic stuff...especially the breads....dont recall my mom doing the slavic food...just the greek xmas cookies..spritz cookies, kourabiedes, drop cookies.....and eventually when my pop moved out, I moved up to bread baker....age 12...only thing my mom did for me was finger temp the water for the yeast....my finger hadnt acquired that skill...still hasnt lol.

Most ironic part of that scenario was the recipe came from a lady who was Aunt (by marriage) to the kids who about 20 years later would be my stepbrothers and sisters.  

Then in 1982 I volunteer as an Auxiliary Firefighter with the FDNY...spent a lot of time in the firehouse kitchens learning from some damn good cooks....had my first grilled swordfish there, my first grilled mako, a killer lasagna...eventually I started kicking in with bread pudding or choccy dipped strawberries.

[yvonne johnson]

Like others, I watched female family members cook, but I've probably learned most from consort.  Salt, salt, salt.

This book I mentioned on the Classic cookbook thread:

Stephen Schmidt's "Master Recipes: A new approach to the fundamentals of good cooking".  He gives so very detailed instructions (nothing is taken for granted), it's as though he's inside the mind of the novice.

[VMBrasseur]

Answering a question about how I learned to cook would be premature.  It's only recently that I've started fostering my interest in cooking.

My mother, although from a large German-Italian farm family, never really cooked anything spectacular.  It was all good, in that homey sort of way, but it was your standard bland American Midwestern meat and potatoes fare.  And as kids, my siblings and I weren't to bug Mom while she was cooking.  Therefore the chances to learn by watching were few.

When I went off to school I didn't have either money or time.  This kept me from trying my hand at cooking too often.  But somehow I always had the money for cable, so I watched cooking shows when the opportunity would arise.  I also was introduced to ethnic foods and discovered that there's more to the world than hamburger and macaroni and cheese.

Now, after a number of years in "the real world," I find myself in a position to finally start applying myself to learning to cook.  I have the time to do it and the money to buy the gadgets and doodads (in moderation; I ain't made of money yet).  It started small and rough, hacking together meals out of stuff I thought ought to work well.  These normally ended up tasting like mud, when they were tastable at all.  Now I'm trying to pick things up from books, magazines and--of course--eGullet.  I've learned that it's better to read and follow recipes for a while, until I've gotten a better handle on what's happening in the kitchen.  

My main problem now is that there's just SO MUCH that I want to make.  I'm having a hard time focusing on improving on any one dish/technique because there's always something else I want to try.  So I'm trying to put things into rotation (like fish, which I didn't even eat at all until a couple months ago) in order to give them at least SOME attention.

--V

[SobaAddict70]

I grew up hanging around libraries and book stores, you might say I was your typical bookworm.  And I think, that's where I discovered that I liked reading about food, how it was prepared, different dishes, etc.  One of my favorite series was the Little House on the Prarie stories by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  The stories in the books go into a great deal of detail which is never seen on the TV show, for those of you who happen to be familiar with that bit of American pop culture.  I was surprised and still am by how much of Laura's work revolved around food.  There's one chapter I'm thinking of in particular where she describes making candy out of snow and boiled maple syrup; another where she writes about churning butter, and coloring it yellow from soaking grated carrots inside a cheesecloth in the churn.

It was only a natural progression from there that I graduated to back issues of Gourmet magazine and cookbooks.  Many of you may remember the hardbound Foods of the World series by Time-Life books that were published in the middle 1960s to early 1970s.  James Beard co-wrote many of them, in particular the volumes on regional American cuisine.  Part travelogue, part cookbook and part cultural expose, it opened my eyes to the larger world beyond.  Yes, yes, I know it sounds corny, but you have to realize how much of a bubble I grew up in.  I mean, for example, speaking from a musically POV, I'm discovering bands that some of you may have grown up with -- bands like Led Zepplin; Pink Floyd; and Earth, Wind and Fire.  I didn't start listening to the radio until the mid-1980s....part of it was because I wasn't aware of things, part of it was from not having a wide circle of friends who could expose me to pop culture, part of it was because I was still adjusting to American society (I was born in the Philippines and came to the U.S. in 1975).  It was only around this time, in the mid-'80s, as I was entering adolescence that I was rapidly becoming Americanized.

Anyway, back on track:  I then started watching cooking shows, namely Julia; Madeline (Kamman); Jeff Smith (who btw, is probably a good cook, but IMHO, talks more than cooks); the Great Chefs series; Jacques Pepin; and others.  I took home ec courses in high school, and even considered applying to CIA* (something I'm contemplating even now, btw).

To make a long story short -- I'm skipping over a lot of details -- the above is to give y'all a bit of contextual background -- I guess I learned how to cook mostly by watching cooking shows and reading a lot, and mostly by teaching myself.  I don't have a lot of formal training -- for example, my knife skills are practically non-existent, I don't know how to debone fish and chicken, much less carve a turkey, but I do know basic saucemaking, stocks, what deglazing means; how to transfer dough to a pie pan; the differences between kosher salt, fleur de sel and sel gris, among other things.

Like Jinmyo, I don't think I (or anyone else) could ever stop learning how to cook.  Its a constant process that, as time goes on, enables you to become better.  I think the best cooks/chefs are those who love what they do and are genuinely interested in food and all things gastronomic.

*CIA is shorthand for the Culinary Institute of America.  I am not necessarily thinking of applying to CIA, but rather to a recognized cooking school that may open doors for me upon graduation, to apprenticeships, etc., assuming I choose to go this route.  Before I commit to something like cooking school, I'm weighing debt and lifestyle options -- I'm in a comfortable job at the moment, but am considering going to either grad school/law school or business school.  However, none of those options leaves much room for liking what I do, whereas cooking school does, the payoff being salary possibilities.  This is probably another thread, but anyone who wants to PM me, please feel free to do so.

Soba

[Lady T]

I've been cooking ever since teen years; I still have a desperately old, dogeared copy of a Betty Crocker paperback in my library.  It was in my twenties that I first ran across a book by James Beard ("Delights and Prejudices", in a used-book store), and realized that cooking taken seriously, cooking considered as an art form, was another thing entirely.  After that, I grabbed a copy of the 1975 edition of "Joy of Cooking" and acquired considerable trial-and-error technical practice.  "Beard on Food", a collection of Beard's syndicated columns over the years, charmed the daylights out of me and got me using more and more fresh produce and herbs, and cooking from scratch.

"Laurel's Kitchen" and the Tassajara cooking series made up a more detailed consideration of vegetarianism than I'd ever seen before (and I still occasionally use Laurel and Company's ratatouille recipe), but it left me with a raging allergy to doctrinaire vegans-on-a-mission-to-convert-me which persists to this day.  Then Robertson et al. produced the "Laurel's Kitchen Bread Book", which was one of the most useful volumes I'd ever seen on bread baking, back then.  The best part of all was the point at which I got my hands on the far more joyous Anna Thomas "Vegetarian Epicure" books and started playing with wine-and-food pairings, building on the basics my dad -- a bartender and wine steward -- had taught me before his death.

M. F. K. Fisher is a constant delight.  So is Laurie Colwin ("Home Cooking", just for a start).

The Silver Palate volumes work well for me.  They seem to me to be unified by instructions which insist, basically, on not screwing up the best and freshest ingredients available.

Nowadays, my kitchen companions-by-proxy-through-their-books include both John Thorne (of "Simple Cooking" fame) and -- as far as you can GET from simple -- Charlie Trotter, whose recipes hold the same fascination for me as really tough crossword puzzles: problems to solve, on the way to some damn fine-tasting food.  

A side note, Cabrales: I found Trotter's "Gourmet Cooking for Dummies" to be a LOT of fun.  I use one of the recipes for risotto on a regular basis (doubt CT would recognize his own work, though; I've morphed it into several other risotto recipes, depending on the season and the available produce, that work better for me), and refer to the list of ingredient sources occasionally...usually falling out laughing at what they want me to pay.

On top of all of that I go to restaurants as often as I can, and steal any ideas on the plates that I like and can afford.

Does this help at all?  

[cabrales]

Lady T -- Thanks for your input.   The Gourmet Cooking for Dummies book by Trotter appears quite informative (I have only read 2 chapters).  I generally have decent ideas for dishes; my problem is lack of culinary skill.

[Suzanne F]

Got hit on the top of the head a lot as a child by my mother while watching her cook.  Too bad she wasn't a very good cook.  Liked to eat, though, so when I first had to feed myself, bought a copy of Fanny Farmer.  It was like a first taste of crack, I presume.  Anyway, by the time I reached my (supposedly) last year of college, I had joined a Book-of-the-Month-Club type cook book club.  Kept reading, kept eating, kept playing.  Finally by 1995, decided I might as well try to make a living at it: went to restaurant school, learned all sorts of good stuff (and trucs), and started doing it professionally.  Learned more trucs, but still have not made a "living" at it.  BTW: by now, I have over 500 cookbooks, but it's still not enough.

Edit after reading some previous posts: One more thing: everyone in my all-girls high school applied for the Betty Crocker Future ... stuff.  No one from my class got one.  However, we have many many PhDs, MDs, MBAs, JDs, CEOs, CFOs, and such.