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Lamest Kitchen Gifts


Tonyy13

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OOOPS! Sorry, I just re-noticed this thread is "gotten" not given.

Note: See previous posts re: Weight Watchers...opted to give all my points to martinis. Hence the given not gotten.

"Reminds me of my of safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." W C Fields

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I told my children that they had a job: to find the single tackiest gift at Niagara Falls that cost less than $5.

This is what they brought back with them:

gallery_137_569_1105151746.jpg

I'd have to say they succeeded with their job!

That MUST have come from the American side of the falls. Canadian law doesn't allow tackiness to that level. :laugh:

A.

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What with my group of friends, you have just given me a great party idea . . . A White Elephant Kitchen Gadget theme. I have a set of Parrot Head cheese spreaders in a holder that looks like a tiki hut bar that might qualify. Why is it that cheese spreaders, bottle openers, and salt and pepper shakers seem to attract tackiness?

And, I dunno, "given" works for me. My son had moved to his first apartment. He wasn't into candles much except at the table. He always liked to set a nice table with candles arranged just so. My daughter and I were in a dollar store for some reason. There was this big box of really ugly, badly made big candles. I picked up this light green thing and was trying to figure it out. Then we realized that it was a bad rendition of a buffalo, as in North American bison. OK . . . A buffalo is bad enough but in light seafoam green? We began thinking about the thought process that would produce such a thing, the people who would go to the trouble to make a mold and expend resources to make a bunch of them, and then use the fuel to ship them across the sea. We got a hopeless case of the giggles. Tears were still running down our cheeks as we paid for it at the register. We had bought my son some lovely place mats, runners, candles and holders and such for his table but we wrapped this thing especially nicely and gave it to him first saying in all seriousness "Something for the home." The look on his face was truly memorable as we dissolved into a total incapacitation event. It was given back and forth for several years, often hidden in some other gift, to whoever was hosting Christmas Eve or Day dinner. We also developed a ceremonial "lighting of the green buffalo" just prior to sitting down to dinner. This is probably the first year we were all together that we missed since I think I got it last and it is packed away.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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i got two pairs of tongs in my stocking (why why why!) a rolling mincer AND mesaluna (why why why!) a frying spatula (plenty of em already) and hotpads (bakers hotpads, which are obnoxiously large and impossible for the range. It must be noted that i am the cook and she is the baker.)

One of those tongs was a high-quality grip and flip. Surprisingly, i love it. Its thin enough to wisk without loosing too much time or batter in the center and is perfect for frying tempura and other things of similar size. the lock is actually rather solid and should last for a few years no problem.

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an bottle opener decorated w. the Philly Eagles logo, makes a GOOOOO    EEEAAAAGGGGGLLLLEEEESSSS cheer when pressed upon a bottle lid

NICE!!!!!! Since my 'rents don't know I drink (I know.... still afraid of my dad, he's a big guy....and in controll of my college loan repayment) my friends got me a homer bottle opener that says "Yes, oh Yes!!" and then continues on to guzzle and burp at the end. Great gift, albeit usefull....

Tonyy13

Owner, Big Wheel Provisions

tony_adams@mac.com

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I got the fabulous Eggstractor.

The device is an absolutely craptastic invention that easily and conveniently mangles hard boiled eggs while keeping the shells more-or-less intact.

I was hoping that someone, somewhere, would report on this thing. I cannot understand why anyone would purchase a big contraption that performs a task that is easily done and takes no equipment at all.

This 'Does it Work' segment on our local news came up with the same results.

http://www.kltv.com/Global/story.asp?S=1896016

I have always received the 'As Seen On TV' gifts, and I cannot think of a single one that worked. The worst was the T-Fal Ingenio cookware (the ones with the clip on handles).

This year, my worst has to be the LePresse chopper. You push down on a handle to chop your food through a type of mold.

13_1013527859.jpg

Mostly it just crushes the food.

"Instead of orange juice, I'm going to use the juice from the inside of the orange."- The Brilliant Sandra Lee

http://www.matthewnehrlingmba.com

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This year, my worst has to be the LePresse chopper.  You push down on a handle to chop your food through a type of mold.

Mostly it just crushes the food.

And it's nothing more than a fancy-schmancy version of the original Vegomatic.

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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I got not one, but TWO of these.

I actually tried them. They're fine if you aren't tring to lift anything over a couple of grams in weight. When the lock mechanism breaks, and they will, they become useless and take up a lot of room, since they are stuck in the open postition. I threw them away.

Two of them - Lucky you! I got one of these as a well-meaning and was able to slowly remove it from my kitchen. First the countertop, then next to the fridge, then into another room, and finally into the attic, where it can rest until eliminated.

I was even able to worm my way out of trying it on multiple occasions. A sturdy device it is not.

Nifty News & Decent Deals - where I'm always listing more kitchen stuff than average people want to see...
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Saturday I received a late Christmas gift from a friend who was delayed returning home from a holiday cruise because of the tsunami (only because she and her husband gave up their plane tickets so people who were affected could get home sooner.)

She sent me a cute stocking, which has now been shredded because I did not keep it out of the basenjis reach after I removed the little gadgets.

Actually these are not so lame and yesterday I used one and it worked beautifully.

gallery_17399_60_1105392044.jpg

She sent two of the OverBoiler Clips and I have placed one on a saucepan so you can see how it works. I had occasion to use it yesterday while cooking soup and it held the lid firmly in place which is really neat as usually they slip back down in the pan when I am not looking and the next thing I know is a boilover has occurred.

The red thing is a lid popper for twist-on jar lids and it breaks the vacuum. I used it and it works just as it should and made it easy to open a jar that usually requires me to use my V-opener, after pounding the top of the jar on the counter.

There are two scrapers, the blue and white one has one soft side and one rigid side, a very good idea.

The silver thing is to remove citrus peel, I haven't tried it.

The little round thing is a round level, to make sure your pans are sitting level on the stovetop and there is a tiny instruction phamplet that describes how to level various cooktops (I simply call the people who install them, but it is a handy item.)

The green thing is a funnel that will join two bottles together so you can get every drop of whatever is in the top bottle into the bottom one.

The round yellow thing is a drip catcher that is supposed to be slid over the spout of a teapot. (I have others, different designs, this looks like a keeper but I have yet to use it.)

The silver funnel thing with the teeth is to be inserted (by twisting) into a lemon or lime, to extract the juice and will retain the lemon pips so they don't invade whatever you are adding the lemon juice to. I may or may not use this one. It looks like it will work and those little teeth are damm sharp. Ouch!

The last thing, the white strainer thing, is to be pushed down into a can (it fits various size cans, large and small) so you can drain the liquid without losing any of the solid contents.

My housekeeper likes the idea of this because I have a habit of using the can lid and dribbling a bit here and there as I move it around.

All in all, I think these are all rather useful. I especially like the OverBoiler Clips - and my housekeeper is thrilled that I actually will use it as she is the one who gets to clean up all my messes...........

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

 

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.)

She sent two of the OverBoiler Clips and I have placed one on a saucepan so you can see how it works.  I had occasion to  use it yesterday while cooking soup and it held the lid firmly in place which is really neat as usually they slip back down in the pan when I am not looking and the next thing I know is a boilover has occurred. 

The red thing is a lid popper for twist-on jar lids and it breaks the vacuum.  I used it and it works just as it should and made it easy to open a jar that usually requires me to use my V-opener, after pounding the top of the jar on the counter.

There are two scrapers, the blue and white one has one soft side and one rigid side, a very good idea.

The silver thing is to remove citrus peel, I haven't tried it.

The little round thing is a round level, to make sure your pans are sitting level on the stovetop and there is a tiny instruction phamplet that describes how to level various cooktops (I simply call the people who install them, but it is a handy item.)

The green thing is a funnel that will join two bottles together so you can get every drop of whatever is in the top bottle into the bottom one.

The round yellow thing is a drip catcher that is supposed to be slid over the spout of a teapot.  (I have others, different designs, this looks like a keeper but I have yet to use it.) 

The silver funnel thing with the teeth is to be inserted (by twisting) into a lemon or lime, to extract the juice and will retain the lemon pips so they don't invade whatever you are adding the lemon juice to.  I may or may not use this one.  It looks like it will work and those little teeth are damm sharp. Ouch!

The last thing, the white strainer thing, is to be pushed down into a can (it fits various size cans, large and small) so you can drain the liquid without losing any of the solid contents. 

My housekeeper likes the idea of this because I have a habit of using the can lid and dribbling a bit here and there as I move it around. 

All in all, I think these are all rather useful.  I especially like the OverBoiler Clips - and my housekeeper is thrilled that I actually will use it as she is the one who gets to clean up all my messes...........

Andie, I really like your stocking stuffers!! But indeed, that OverBoiler Clip seems perfect...I'll be hunting for a few today! (one for me, and the others for friends, of course)

Thanks for the tip!

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My family has a perverse love of giving tacky gifts. We do it on purpose and try to keep a straight face. The fun is watching someone squirm as they do they're best "gee thanks" not knowing you're just trying too make them uncomfortable. This sick habit started with my grandmother, she regifted a hamburger maker once and now that same hamburger maker has been regifted many times over. The rules are that you must keep the damn thing for at least an entire year and then suprise someone with it. It has dissapeared for a year or two now. I have no idea who has it. I did see a Double/two sided model at garage sale and thought about upgrading the evil item.

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QUOTE(I have always received the 'As Seen On TV' gifts @ and I cannot think of a single one that worked. The worst was the T-Fal Ingenio cookware (the ones with the clip on handles).

This year, my worst has to be the LePresse chopper. You push down on a handle to chop your food through a type of mold.

[img)

I'm sorry, but the WORST is "The Chocolate Factory" -- basically just a cheap, crappy double-boiler.

http://www.nyproducts.com/cf.htm/

It will "turn ordinary desserts into the extraordinary" for only $15.95 plus shipping.

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