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free vodka... seriously...

John Moore

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Greetings to all our wonderfully brilliant, funny, and creative friends, colleagues, & epicureans,

Okay, now that you know I am going to ask you all for a favor, here it is…

We recently got exclusive rights for a new vodka that we will be introducing to the market here in Germany.  The name is “Seriously”… seriously… no, I am not kidding, seriously…

The vodka is excellent- triple distillation, wheat based, smooth and citrus like, light essence of juniper, etc.  The basic marketing concept behind the vodka is very interesting.  They are making numerous different ad campaigns around the word “seriously”, and many of them are pretty fun.  I would like to see what we can come up with minus the corporate guys in Sweden… hence the brown-nosing intro.  

We are hoping to do a grass-roots style marketing campaign involving printed postcards with witty statements involving the name of the vodka... Seriously.  I have been extremely impressed with the deathless prose gracing the web site here and hope that with a little appeal to your pockets, purses, and gullets I might coerce a few literary gems from this bunch.  

Each month we will select one of the slogans for use in this postcard concept in the local market around Munich.  Whomever produced the slogan that we elect will get a free bottle of vodka in the post.

So people, tap into your right brain, put on your funny, witty, creative, interesting facades for a few minutes and see what you can come up with.  Vodka will be sent for all contributions that make it to actual print, so if nothing else humor me and you will get some goodies in the mail.  Here are a few of the tidbits that we are using at the moment courtesy of the lads in Sweden:

1.      There are matters in life that should be taken seriously. We shall never cease to search for them.

2.      All our lives we’ve been told that a picture says more than a thousand words. Three words are proof that we have been seriously misled : I love you.

3.      Most men seriously believe that women wear make-up to attract them. Most men also believe in flying saucers and little green beings.

4.      A woman of great beauty and vast intellect is to be taken very seriously. Or she’ll fire you.

5.      When a pound in the bank is worth more than the pound of a heart, it’s time to seriously reconsider.

6.      We can clone sheep. Great. Now, seriously, let’s quickly move on to supermodels.

7.      When you are seeing a man who on the second date reveals he’s seriously considering divorcing his wife, you should seriously consider hailing a cab.

8.      You spent half the day on the internet and the other half on your mobile, and all the time you were seriously disconnected.

cheers to all and many thanks in advance,


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Sorry, but this is too funny. I'm laughing all the way to relieve myself quickly.

How in the world do you guys expect all these "Heini(s)", (I can say that, I am one), to understand this English word "Seriously"  -Ernsthaft-,  in German!. I can't see anyone drink anything that is ernshaft. Not a bit of fun. Are you really ernsthaft about this? And around Muenchen anyway!!. Witzigmann and Kaefer would not even call a beer that. And Bayern is BIER country. And "Essence of Juniper"?, They already have their Steinhaeger and Wachholder. Hope you explain.

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my dear mr. wolf,

When were you last in München, thirty years ago?  I know that it may seem outrageous to consider, but the bavarians are getting hip!  Although the Oktoberfest tents are still filled with the beer-swilling masses, an undercurrent of savvy cocktail drinkers are beginning to take the market by storm, and represent the second largest market segment behind only world wines in growth here in the the alchoholic beverage industry.  I know that might sound funny, ludicrous, even distinctly "non-Bavarian", but it is true.  München is not just Weißwürscht and Lederhosen these days, and is actually catching up culturally with the cocktail sophistication found elsewhere.  To give you an idea, there are currently a few places in München where you can get over one hundred different rums!   Schumann just recently threw a guy out of his bar for ordering a Zacapa Cola!  Times they are a changing.  Although you can still get a #### good Schweinshaxe in this neck of the woods, don't be surprised if you can order a Caipi, Mai Tai, or Martini to go with it!      

As for the English issue, you will find that most slogans, ad campaigns, and assorted titles are in English here these days.  I don't know if it is the influence of MTV, hip hop, or Michael Jordan, but for whatever reason people probably speak better English here than they do in many parts of the U.S.  



p.s. - sorry for the delay in my response, but it is Christmas time here, and some things haven't changed!  Don't expect anyone to get much work done for the next week or so.  Bis bald...

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I partially disagree with Katherine.  I know its a huge generalization, but advertising folks follow generalizations.  Men identify more with visual statements, and women with verbal ones.  She is 100% correct that these slogans would never "fly" in the US, but despite the "young male" subtext of the slogans, the method of delivery is the reason it wouldn't work.

A modern American ad campaign for men would be much more likely to use visual puns instead of verbal ones.  Buy any American glossy magazine with male readership (Maxim, GQ, FHM, Playboy) and take a look at the ads (especially the liquor ads).  Pictures of swimming pools shaped like Vodka bottles.  Or a glass filled with ice with the image of a woman in the ice cube.  Stuff like that.  Trite in its own way, but playing into the visual fixations of young men.

Postcards or print ad, either way I'd analyze the expected audience before deciding on the type of slogan... or if they should even use slogans...

Jon Lurie, aka "jhlurie"

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  • 2 weeks later...

forget it... seriously...

Never had any intention of causing such stir.  Seriously sorry to those of you that for whatever reason found the concept offensive; also, to those that might have had interesting, creative, or otherwise useful contributions.  For those of you out there that might wish to send along something please contact me directly via email.  Thanks to all.

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So I didn't win? My slogan "Are you serious?"  won't be "printed [on] postcards with witty statements involving the name of the vodka"? OK, mine didn't involve the full name "seriously" but it was a propos.

Maybe this was a case of internet misinterpretation, but I was seriously putting forward a submission. Surely, jollyroger imports hasn't lost a sense of humor? This isn't the first time I've got into trouble because I've omitted the internet smiley face. I use it but have a deep down aversion to it as welll as the exclamation mark.  OK, so my previous post now edited reads:


"Are you serious?" :)

Now, that took 3.25 seconds, and I want the going rate for advertising consultants. :) And my bottle of vodka. Pronto...I'm serious! :)


But admit it. "Are you serious?" is far better than "Are you serious:)?"

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greetings yvonne,

Of course we remain forever jolly.  Now I feel like Al Gore trying to tell the masses just how interesting, funny, and full of life we really are underneath the stony exterior.  Do I have to kiss Tipper to convince you?  

As for the current quest for quips regarding seriously, it hasn't received a single "serious" response yet, so I figured we would nip this forum in the bud.  Otherwise, life is good despite my recent attempts to take up snowboarding :).  Hope all is well "back at the ranch" in the ole USA, and wish all the best.

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