Victor Lewis-Smith

[Suzi Edwards]

Well, he has taken over from Matthew Fort with this slaying of The Groes Inn in Wales.

I loved the fact that he describes a "Caesar Salad" as "more of a Seizure Salad" but that's just because I like plays on words. Moby is very good at those but he's not the food writer for the Guardian...

Overall, I was disappointed. We all know that it's easy, really, really easy to rubbish a restaurant and hard to find the words to describe a meal that's totally transcendental*. And I don't tend to read restaurant reviews to find out where not to eat. I like to know what's great. Feels to me like he has decided to start with a bang. But for me it's more of a whimper.

*I use words like transcendental so I don't actually have to describe the technique or the flavour. I describe the experience. Which is a bit like Victor.

[endless autumn]

I though it was pretty poor: the food descriptions were dull, the puns to be expected.

I think it's quite depressing that in following his favourite technique of setting up the first paragraph to culminate in a bad pun, the best he could come up with was 'A Wok in The Black Forest'.

[curlywurlyfi]

is his byline picture still like something out of the Blues Brothers-but-with-added-dreadlocks?

[MobyP]

"I pined for the good old days when soups like this would be tammied on a kitchenmaid's leg."

Classic.

[Andy Lynes]

Whatever you thought of Matthew Fort (that he reviewed too many pubs close to his front door, that he spent far too many words of his allocated space reproducing vast swathes of the menu, that his reviews had become formulaic and that he used the word "bosky" about 100 times to many), he took the idea of restaurants seriously and wrote about them with some authority.

With the notable exceptions of Terry Durack, Fay Maschler (but with a growing number of reservations. I mean, how many more times do we need to be told that dear old Reg hates ratatouille?) and maybe one or two others, the British press seems terrified of the idea of printing 1000 words about a restaurant unless they are punctuated by bad puns, sneering jokes or personal anecdote.

The most disappointing thing about the appointment of VLS is that we now have yet another "humorist" reviewing restaurants. The theatre gets Michael Billington, the cinema Phillip French and Derek Malcom, opera has Anthony Holden. What do we get? A bunch of fucking comedians.

[Winot]

The most disappointing thing about the appointment of VLS is that we now have yet another "humorist" reviewing restaurants. The theatre gets Michael Billington, the cinema Phillip French and Derek Malcom, opera has Anthony Holden.  What do we get? A bunch of fucking comedians.

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Well that's because the British don't take food seriously.

I thought that for his first outing it was surprisingly half-cocked. If you're going to do a Gill-like column then you'd better do it to the max. Maybe this bodes well; maybe he'll turn out to be more than a fucking comedian.

[PoppySeedBagel]

I suppose the fact that he uses the term 'tammied' bodes quite well, but overall I agree with Andy.

[Andy Lynes]

Well that's because the British don't take food seriously.

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Apart from those that post and lurk on this board of course, and who also I imagine read the critics.

[Winot]

Apart from those that post and lurk on this board of course, and who also I imagine read the critics.

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Yes, if only The Guardian took more notice of us when it picked its critics.

[fisherman]

far too punny, eating cheese caerphilly and a seizure salad in consecutive sentances?

not what i read restaurant reviews for......

[Marlyn4k]

Well I only had to look up about 5 words so compares favourably with Jonathan Meades (what the hell was he ever talking about?).

Before Judging in haste I await a top end restaurant review, perhaps Victor's command of the language will stretch to vivid descriptions of taste/texture/technique and genuine appraisal.

However describing the 'experience' is also of merit as no doubt the majority of customers judge their value for money based on the experience rather than the fineries of technique.

[Paul de Gruchy]

I think the main thing you want with a food writer is certainty. With Meades, although there was always fairly entertaining waffle about architecture, I knew what he liked and what his philosophy on food was. He liked things to borne of a tradition, designed to appeal to the palate of the customer, rather than to the Michelin guides etc. So even when one disagreed with his views on a restaurant, you could use them to make a considered decision as to whether to eat there. I find I can do the same with Maschler and with Jan Moir of the Telegraph and Matthew Fort was fine too. But the homourists - Lewis-Smith, Gill, Coren (though he's not as bad)? I'm really left none the wiser as to whether I am likely to enjoy what they describe. Which kind of fails the first test of reviewing anything.

[fisherman]

robinson cursoe??????

i rest my case................

[Suzi Edwards]

so onto weak two, as victor might say. it would appear "the only question that really matters when evaluating a restaurant: what makes you pleased to be here?" is on victor's mind this week.

erm, i tend to think that there are a number of questions i ask when evaluating a restaurant, the most important one being "what is the bloody food like" and then if i decide it's sublime i would just go to the ladies and kill myself, safe in the knowledge that i no longer have a rich and wide enough vocabulary to describe things.

*growls*

(Edit to add pun)

Edited September 22, 2004 by tarka (log)

[Marlyn4k]

Disappointed by this review. Don't think enough thought or effort went into the writing nor enough notes made during the experience...resulting in falling between two stalls - neither informative nor entertaining.

[Jamsie]

I think he's poor

You'd of thought the guarniad would of employed someone who is more of a foody ponce as it's the sort of paper foody ponces read.

BTW I regard myself as a foody ponce hence hanging around this site

Edited September 22, 2004 by Jamsie (log)

[MobyP]

Today's review of Club Gascon ends with a joke of such poor taste, so miserably done, I'm surprised he hasn't been fired for it.

[fisherman]

i hadnt bothered reading todays column, the first time since i started reading the guardian many years ago that i'd not read it, one look at the face of the idiot at the top of the page was enough to make me turn back to matthew forts piece with sam and sam from moro (cant wait for the new book!)

after reading mobys post i thought i'd read the review just to see what the joke was, next week i definately won't waste my time. it's such a shame, as the guardian is in many ways the perfect newspaper, why they have to inflict this substandard rubbish on us is beyond me.

[the count of monte christo]

i hadnt bothered reading todays column, the first time since i started reading the guardian many years ago that i'd not read it, one look at the face of the idiot at the top of the page was enough to make me turn back to matthew forts piece with sam and sam from moro (cant wait for the new book!)

after reading mobys post i thought i'd read the review just to see what the joke was, next week i definately won't waste my time. it's such a shame, as the guardian is in many ways the perfect newspaper, why they have to inflict this substandard rubbish on us is beyond me.

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Could you please clarify for me what you mean by 'substandard rubbish'. I also read the review and do not feel I wasted my time. VLS spoke as he found. What more do you want?

[FaustianBargain]

I read the Club Gascon review and found it lacking in one aspect. review of the food itself. give the man some time. everyone shapes up...sooner or later.

having said that...what constitutes a 'good review'..from the point of the reader...apart from the puns and tongue in cheek utterances, should it contain more information..narrative or descriptive?

imo, a good restaurant review should be split into two...apart from the style of writing ...which is the puns, insults, sarcasm etc...the first shoul give lot of information about the 'facts'..i.e. the chefs, any history..history of the dishes, state of the silver...the decor...pretty much anything interesting that is solidly indisputable...any opinions as to service, ambience, taste of food etc should be clearly stated as the reviewer's personal opinions and his only...reviews do affect a restaurant's credibility...it is the responsibility of the journalist to declare the obvious and factual...and to deliver subjective reviews of the rendered services...

[Romaney O'Malley]

A couple of quotes from Victor's review:

"Authority seldom responds well to sarcasm, and they kept me waiting until the next flight, but then I always seem to get delayed at airports. I put it down to all the offal I eat doing this job."

Really? - I would put it down to making absurdly stupid comments to security at an airport during a time of high terrorism risk. Seriously though - I'm not an uptight person but did anyone even find this funny?

"It's the job of a good maître d' to spot a late diner in distress and calm things down."

Is it? Victor states that he had to wait until the next flight - so how late was he I wonder? I would guess Very. Did he even bother to phone?

I can't help but feeling that this is a review where the starting point for the restaurant wasn't exactly ideal. I don't get the impression Victor was desperate to apologise for his lateness either - more that he had hurtled himself into the restaurant quite late and expected everyone to drop everything immediately and commence placating him over his bad day.

Am not particularly sympathetic and would not judge the restaurant over this review. Maybe he's just pissed off that they didn't know who he was .....

[the count of monte christo]

A couple of quotes from Victor's review:

"Authority seldom responds well to sarcasm, and they kept me waiting until the next flight, but then I always seem to get delayed at airports. I put it down to all the offal I eat doing this job."

Really? - I would put it down to making absurdly stupid comments to security at an airport during a time of high terrorism risk.  Seriously though - I'm not an uptight person but did anyone even find this funny?

"It's the job of a good maître d' to spot a late diner in distress and calm things down."

Is it? Victor states that he had to wait until the next flight - so how late was he I wonder? I would guess Very. Did he even bother to phone?

I can't help but feeling that this is a review where the starting point for the restaurant wasn't exactly ideal.  I don't get the impression Victor was desperate to apologise for his lateness either - more that he had hurtled himself into the restaurant quite late and expected everyone to drop everything immediately and commence placating him over his bad day. 

 

Am not particularly sympathetic and would not judge the restaurant over this review.  Maybe he's just pissed off that they didn't know who he was ..... 

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You are surely not suggesting that a restaurant manager be anything other than welcoming and ploite to any customer, late or not, are you ?

You don't know if he phoned to say he was going to be late. You don't know how he entered the restaurant or how he behaved when he did. Your post contains negative assumptions, I dread to think how you would react if a restaurant reviewer did the same.

As for your thought that he may be pissed off because they did not know who he was, well, they should know who he is as he writes for the evening standard every week and he is the food critic for the guardian. How could you miss him?

[Andy Lynes]

any opinions as to service, ambience, taste of food etc should be clearly stated as the reviewer's personal opinions and his only

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[alexhills]

I have a vague and probably inaccurate memory of a very positive M.Fort review of the place barely 3 months ago (couldn't find it in the archive though). It seems to me VLS is looking for ways to write bad reviews almost, he seems to want to come across as a hardass, but to me just miserably fails to engage with the food at all. Sigh... Another newspaper goes miserably down the 'novelty' restaurant review path.

[fisherman]

Could you please clarify for me what you mean by 'substandard rubbish'. I also read the review and do not feel I wasted my time. VLS spoke as he found. What more do you want?

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by substandard rubbish i mean a review catering more to the reviewers ego and sense of self worth than the poor souls who have to read it. i dont care if he missed his flight due to behaving like a child, i do care about what the food was like.