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Greatest Host/Hostessing Challenges


Ellen Shapiro

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The talk about antique bed pans (one might also relate to antique spitoons) amuses me. I presume that those so afraid of this possibility have never eaten kidneys, liver or, for that matter, eggs???? 

Nor, of course, would they think of cooking anything over dried cow, buffalo or camel dung.....among the most popular cooking materials even today in some parts of the world....

I went out and bought 12 big stainless steel dog bowls for a gumbo feed. Only had one guest refuse to eat out of that container. A couple even asked me where I got the amazing bowls. "Petsmart." Eyebrow-lifting ensued.

This whole love/hate thing would be a lot easier if it was just hate.

Bring me your finest food, stuffed with your second finest!

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My story can't compete with most of these- but a few years ago I hosted a holiday dinner for 8 including my then new SO- As I put everything on the table including a perfectly done rare- Med rare rib roast, I realized by the looks on their faces that I was cooking for a Med- Well crowd- these folks didn't like the color pink- Needless to say, we had more wine and fired up the grill to turn my roast into rib-eyes. Had a good time anyway :wub:

ksoss

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This happened to my aunt this Christmas. She had guests coming over on Christmas day, due to arrive shortly. She gives her dog Skootch (miniature daschsund) a bone. Then she decide to change the candles in her votive candleholders and pops them in the microwave to loosen the wax. She then notices that the bone has had an unwanted side effect on the dog and she picks up the dog and tries to get it outside before it makes a mess. Unsuccessfully. Then after cleaning up the dog mess and putting the pooch outside to finish it's business, she returns to the kitchen to see flames on the inside of her microwave, hits the door button without thinking it through. Glass fragments and hot wax come flying out of the microwave. She did manage to get things cleaned up and her dinner went off without a hitch.

If only I'd worn looser pants....

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I have a lemon of a Jenn-Aire range. I've had it repaired about ever 6 months since I purchased it 3 years ago, but it never stays fixed for long. And so far I've been unable to get them to replace it. In March the Maytag Man AND the Maytag Man's boss came to fix it. They replaced a bunch of parts and redid a bunch of wiring. I bought the $200 extended warranty so I could stop arguing with Maytag each time about who was going to pay for the repairs. And I was counting on Murphy's Law - I figured as soon as I paid for the warranty, I'd never need to use it.

For 9 months, that trick seemed to work. Until last night, when I had 8 stuffed and prepped quail sitting on a sheet pan waiting to go into the oven. I turned it to preheat, and it crapped out on me. The computerized control panel started beeping and throwing error codes.

Fortunately, I live in a cohousing community, so I was able to run over to the common house and use the oven there, and dinner was saved. I don't know what I'd have done if I didn't have that - pan roast, I guess or fire up the grill real quick!

Tammy's Tastings

Creating unique food and drink experiences

eGullet Foodblogs #1 and #2
Dinner for 40

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I feel your loss Anne, I feel your loss.

I had the smae face/feelings when my turbobroiler/convection oven died 6 months ago.

Hugs...

Doddie aka Domestic Goddess

"Nobody loves pork more than a Filipino"

eGFoodblog: Adobo and Fried Chicken in Korea

The dark side... my own blog: A Box of Jalapenos

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  • 2 weeks later...

In the days of cocktail parties, I was helping a friend get ready for a holiday soirée in which French 75s were the libration (lethal stuff: cognac and champagne).

He heated the cognac just under simmer in a copper pot and brought the pot to the punch table. When he poured the cognac into the Baccarat punch bowl, the bowl cracked, igniting the draperies on the window next to the bowl.

As we're tearing down the curtails, the bell rang. It was the first guests of the evening. Luckily we averted a fire and a dud party. To this day flambé initiates a frisson in me.

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OK another fire story. My family is finishing up a nice, peaceful Father's Day dinner. I'm carrying the dirty dishes to the sink when I look outside to the little strip of woods in the backyard. On fire! I ran outside, discovered the source of the fire was from this old brick barbeque the neighbors had used to cook their dinner. Problem was, they hadn't cleared away the dead ivy growing up the side. Flames crawled down the ivy and set our woods ablaze.

I ran into their house, yelling call 911. They are all totally tanked and begged me not to call the police - they will put the fire out (I guess they were embarassed at being so drunk). I said forget it. Three fire trucks, two police cars and an ambulance were at our house in about 45 seconds (we live in a very small town with two fire companies: the Catholics and the Protestants.) A memorable day.

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