Bagel Thoughts

[cakewalk]

I had a friend, from New York, who maintained that blueberry bagels were anti-semitic, possibly more repellent than ham.

[Katherine]

As one who was born and raised in NYC, 13 blocks south of H&H and Zabar's, it has always been incomprehensible to me to cut a bagel in half vertically.  To do so is to treat it like any other form of sandwich bread, which I categorically believe it is not.

What do other folks think of this?  Am I the only bagel purist left in the world?

No. I've never even thought of the idea of cutting a bagel vertically. My reaction is "What's the point?" Why would anyone go and do a thing like that?

I had no idea people had strong feelings about this. I don't even know what you're arguing about. Vertically? Crosswise? Horizontally? What position is the bagel in when you make the cut?

Are you saying that it's verboten to slice the bagel to spread or toast it, or that it shouldn't be hacked into two half-moons while in its pristine condition? Or is that after it's been spread you shouldn't cut it?

[bobmac]

I sense some confusion here about horizontal vs. vertical. Folks seem to be using them in different ways.

I found the answer to good bagels in the 'burbs, even heavily Jewish 'burbs, is to make them following the recipe in Rose Levy Beranbaum's "Bread Bible." They provide the things Fat Guy finds missing in most bagels. I do cut back on the size, making six bagels from her recipe for five. The local supermarkets sell what amounts to bread shaped like bagels, and I was shocked when my Jewish former landlord said he preferred them. Oy!

[Gifted Gourmet]

This is from a recent article in the Charlotte Creative Loafing and is yet another observation on today's bagels:

The whole truth: the demise of the bona fide bagel

At one time, a bagel was a delightful treat consisting of hand-rolled dough that had been boiled, then baked until the crust had a glossy sheen. These bygone bagels were modestly apportioned, not the monster trucks -- the Winnebagels -- you see plying America's culinary roadways today. They were not offered in the same flavor configurations as muffins (oat bran, blueberry, apple-honey, even chocolate chip, for crying out loud). The noble, pristine bagel had a humble, monk-like approach that aspired to little, yet achieved so much.

much of which is described by the posters in this thread ... I enjoyed the article and hope you will as well ... just another small voice crying out in the bagel wilderness ...

and I did laugh at his description of the Winnebagels!!

[Dryden]

From Busboy's original post:

The cut where the nova is represents a horizontal cut and is obviously vital to eating a bagel with anything on it.

The other cut (the one that goes vertically through the hole) is a crime against nature.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Dryden, after viewing that beautiful bagel with its exquisite lox, I now must retreat to my local favorite deli to continue the gestaldt experience ... you have appealed to my most salacious, prurient culinary interests and I need immediate relief!! ... but thanks for the closeup ...

is this the food equivalent of a centerfold??

[Toasted]

A blueberry bagel with cream cheese is a good thing. But I'm from CT so what do I know.

[ErinB]

You know what sent me over the edge? I went into some coffee shop (possibly Cosi or something similar) where they don't serve bagels they serve Squagels (square bagels).

That is ridiculous.

[JennyUptown]

That is ridiculous.

While I eat 'em (daily - Cosi is in my DC office building), it's such a silly concept.

[Busboy]

You know what gets me? That probably the majority of the bagels offered for sale in New York City suck. Sure, if you know your way around town, there are lot's of great shops, but if you just randomly look into delis and even bakeries, you find hideous soft round wonderbread things that not only don't taste like bagels, but are aggressively painful to try to choke down.

Can't you guys get an ordinance passed, or something? People selling these bagels are no better than common criminals, and there should be a special hell for the bakers who turn them out. Is Rikers still functioning? I envision a new wing for these miscreants where, assuming the Supreme Court doesn't rule it "cruel and unusual" they would be punished by being force-fed their own wares.

[lesfen]

As one who was born and raised in NYC, 13 blocks south of H&H and Zabar's, it has always been incomprehensible to me to cut a bagel in half vertically. To do so is to treat it like any other form of sandwich bread, which I categorically believe it is not.

Pardon my ignorance, but what is the proper way to eat a bagel?

[mags]

As one who was born and raised in NYC, 13 blocks south of H&H and Zabar's, it has always been incomprehensible to me to cut a bagel in half vertically.  To do so is to treat it like any other form of sandwich bread, which I categorically believe it is not.

Pardon my ignorance, but what is the proper way to eat a bagel?

With a schmear. And, if it's Sunday, a couple nice thin slices nova from the middle, not too salty.

[tryska]

bagels cut in quarters make it easy to eat and drive.

[Pumpkin Lover]

bagels cut in quarters make it easy to eat and drive.

I hear that.

If a bagel's cut vertically, it means I'll have an easier time handling the extra cream cheese that poops out from the sides.

[tryska]

yup. aside from that i'm a bagel simplist.

everything wit buttah, toasted.

[cakewalk]

bagels cut in quarters make it easy to eat and drive.

Real Noo Yawkahs don't drive.

[Dryden]

Four ways to eat a bagel, for me:

1. With butter, toasted (this is the only time toasting a bagel is acceptable, especially if you're in a deli where they shout "Hot buttered bagel!"

2. With cream cheese (scallion/chive or plain), untoasted (or toasted if the bagel is old)

3. With cream cheese and sliced nova (lox). This is the "standard" NY bagel.

4. The creme de la creme of bagels: An onion or garlic bagel from H&H with chive cheese from Zabar's, topped with nova and smoked sturgeon. It's doesn't get much better than this. Smoked fish from Russ & Daughters or Murray's is acceptable also.

Or you can do any of the above with a bialy, which is nice, too. But I've never toasted one.

Never seen the point of onions and tomatoes and lettuce and all that stuff if you have some nice fish on there, just ruins the flavor.

[mjr_inthegardens]

You know what sent me over the edge?  I went into some coffee shop (possibly Cosi or something similar) where they don't serve bagels they serve Squagels (square bagels). 

That is ridiculous.

mjr's self-drawn, original, uninfringing square bagel horror:

Aaaaaa!!!

-mjr

edit: yes it is poppyseed

Edited July 13, 2004 by mjr_inthegardens (log)

[Bux]

If you're going to be a bagel purist-traditionalist-nazi, you've got to be a lot more restrictive in your outlook than anybody on this thread. One issue is that none of the popular bagel places makes an acceptable bagel by traditional standards: they're too large, not dense enough, undercooked, and don't have the proper combination of flavors from the malt-dough mixture and the boiling liquid. Toppings would be limited, I believe, to poppy, sesame, or none. There would be no such thing as a bagel equivalent of a deli sandwich -- only traditional "appetizing"-type sandwiches (nova, cream cheese, etc.) would be acceptable.

I've always suspected that the no-toasting rule is more a matter of laziness than of principle, though it is always disguised as principle. But really, what's wrong with toasting a bagel or, even better, splitting and buttering it and throwing it butter-side-down on a griddle? That's just delicious. I could see maybe an objection to toasting an old-style jawbreaker-type bagel because the texture is such a precise thing, but these relatively fluffy monster-bagels we get nowadays are usually improved by toasting.

For a kid your age, you must have done some reading. I can't remember when I last had a NYC bagel that wasn't a sacrilege. They don't make 'em like they used, or like they should and haven't for a long time--maybe before you were born. There's nothing however unkosher about toasting a bagel or for that matter in buttering it and laying on a hot griddle (more likely a frying pan in my childhood) as long as you're not using bacon fat.

[tryska]

bagels cut in quarters make it easy to eat and drive.

Real Noo Yawkahs don't drive.

heh. i actually didn't find out that was the benefit of bagels quarters til i moved ot the south.

[mags]

bagels cut in quarters make it easy to eat and drive.

Real Noo Yawkahs don't drive.

heh. i actually didn't find out that was the benefit of bagels quarters til i moved ot the south.

There are no bagels in the South.

[tryska]

depends on where you are i think. i was surprised to find really good bagels in New Orleans. and they had really good pizza as well. (new york-style on both counts)

as for here in atlanta - i'm sorry to say einsteins is as close as it gets although i here tell of soem decent bagelries not in my area. but einstiens everything wit buttah, toasted will suffice. however it does irk me that i can get a pumpkin spice bagel but not a freakin garlic bagel there.

[alacarte]

You know what sent me over the edge? I went into some coffee shop (possibly Cosi or something similar) where they don't serve bagels they serve Squagels (square bagels).

That is ridiculous.

Agreed!

And along the same lines -- "flagels," or flat bagels, just don't make the cut either.

[mjr_inthegardens]

I actually like flagels. I think they eliminate some of the puffiness of modern bagels while at once increasing the sandwich surface area for spreads/pieces of CC / Whitefish etc...

They make them in the traditional varieties without straying into blueberry land also.

Another topic: I love everything bagels and they seem to be a NY favorite as well. Is this not authentic in the eyes of the Bagel "purists" on here?

[Dryden]

Depends what "everything" includes, I guess, although I like my bagels to be relatively uncomplicated, lest the flavor get too confusing.