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Crimes Against Food


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Inspired by FG's al dante thread and my recent visit to Mastuhisa in Aspen, this is a thread about some of the things that restaurants do that really spoils the otherwise good food. The toro served at Mastuhisa in Aspen was so much soy sauce and miso that you can't even taste the richness of the blue fin tuna. It's silly because why waste money on perfectly good blue fin tuna when the customer can't even taste it.

Ya-Roo Yang aka "Bond Girl"

The Adventures of Bond Girl

I don't ask for much, but whatever you do give me, make it of the highest quality.

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Every "deli" in Houston commits a capital crime against that epitome of the sandwich world, the Muffaletta.

The infamous list of offenses:

Bread all wrong, some even without sesame seeds

Olive salad chopped too fine, or not fine enough

Not enough oil in the olive salad

TOO MUCH MEAT! It is about the bread, dammit

The real deal is here.

(Actually, the current Central Grocery sandwich seems to have more meat on it than it did 30 years ago. They are probably having to bow to the sinners of excess. About 2/3 of what you see in the link is more like the original.)

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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grilled vegetables particularly portabello mushrooms (which are STILL delicious though oft poo pooed, but i don't think you need me to tell you that...) that are DROWNED in balsamic vinegar

and for that matter

balsamic vinaigrette (tho' I had one today that was surprisingly delicious, but this is the first ever)

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grilled vegetables particularly portabello mushrooms (which are STILL delicious though oft poo pooed, but i don't think you need me to tell you that...) that are DROWNED in balsamic vinegar

and for that matter

balsamic vinaigrette (tho' I had one today that was surprisingly delicious, but this is the first ever)

That really sends me over the edge. How's about this microwaved cream sauce that is greasy all over.

Ya-Roo Yang aka "Bond Girl"

The Adventures of Bond Girl

I don't ask for much, but whatever you do give me, make it of the highest quality.

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I completely agree on the overcooked bit. I have no interest in eating red meat that has no evidence that blood once ran through it (well, I'll leave an exception to braises and whatnot that are supposed to be thoroughly cooked).

My biggest issue however is chefs who are afraid to use herbs and spices. It really burns me to order a dish that claims to be highly spiced only to recieve something that is only one or two steps away from bland. If you are going to take the time to point something out on the menu as having some kick, give it some kick.

He don't mix meat and dairy,

He don't eat humble pie,

So sing a miserere

And hang the bastard high!

- Richard Wilbur and John LaTouche from Candide

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Cake from mixes, and that nasty icing made of grease and confectioners' sugar. Blee-yech. Many times, the only reason I go out to eat is for dessert. Make it worth my while!

The strange notion that no matter what a dish may lack, it will all be resolved if the thing is covered in about five servings of melted cheese. Um, no. Not even if it is goat cheese.

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I don't agree when a restaurant uses bases instead of homemade stock. I can taste that canned, sodium saturated paste a mile away.

"He could blanch anything in the fryolator and finish it in the microwave or under the salamander. Talented guy."

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It really annoys me when a restaurant points out the chili in a dish but is too scared to actually make it hot - if it says 'chili warning hot' etc etc then make it hot! Some of us love it.

I especially hate it when they have the degrees of hotness thing on a menu (usually thai) when really it's all mild. :hmmm:

Edited to say that I've just realised this is actually a rant about restaurants and not a crime against ingredients - sorry - oh well there you go - won't have to start that thread then!

Edited by Romaney O'Malley (log)
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Pea shoots ripped out in the prime of life and forced to serve as an inedibly fibrous garnish to "new American" cooking, rather than being allowed to flourish and produce one of spring's great treasures: fresh sweet peas.

I'm on the pavement

Thinking about the government.

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Pea shoots ripped out in the prime of life and forced to serve as an inedibly fibrous garnish to "new American" cooking, rather than being allowed to flourish and produce one of spring's great treasures: fresh sweet peas.

Pea sprouts are wonderful steamed, or in an Asian soup, or in sukiyaki.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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Sugar in cornbread!

Indeed.

Does that happen? :unsure:

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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Le Trois Garcons restaurant in London's East End.... Dubya should be sending troops in there instead. All you UK Gulleteers, start lobbying Tony "I love Bush" Blair to get serious about crimes against humanity at the above mentioned establishment.

"Coffee and cigarettes... the breakfast of champions!"

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putrid shellfish.

If you're going to make dishes with clams and mussels, store them properly in the walk-in and check them before you add. I don't care how busy you are - this can cost the restaurant a fortune on many levels if not addressed. :huh:

"I took the habit of asking Pierre to bring me whatever looks good today and he would bring out the most wonderful things," - bleudauvergne

foodblogs: Dining Downeast I - Dining Downeast II

Portland Food Map.com

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