eG Foodblog: mongo jones - how to lose friends and annoy people

[mongo_jones]

my name is mongo jones and i once selected "revolution #9" three times back-to-back on a jukebox in a los angeles bar. the jukebox was shut off 3 minutes into the second playing. i'm just saying.

see you all tomorrow. and if it all ends in tears, recriminations and mass-excommunications blame adoxograph.

[winesonoma]

Congratulations.

Edited June 14, 2004 by winesonoma (log)

[herbacidal]

my name is mongo jones and i once selected "revolution #9" three times back-to-back on a jukebox in a los angeles bar. the jukebox was shut off 3 minutes into the second playing. i'm just saying.

see you all tomorrow. and if it all ends in tears, recriminations and mass-excommunications blame adoxograph.

Cool. Someone with an attitude. I think I might like this one a lot.

[torakris]

looking forward to this!

[Rushina]

From somone who has thoroughly enjoyed Mongos posts on Food, I am really looking forward to this one!!!

Rushina

[bleudauvergne]

I was thinking of you, Mongo, when I blew half my weekly food budget on spices yesterday.

[balmagowry]

Oh.

[Episure]

Blog away my friend, blog away, I can hardly wait.

RE: your new signature-

't.s eliot is an anagram of toilets'

Here is a palindrome:

Was it eliots toilet I saw

[bague25]

Mongo

You MUST talk about the 'forbidden fruit' ...

Happy blogging...

PS: for those not familiar with the Indian Forum the 'forbidden fruit' is mango...

oooooppppppppsssssss I said it

Edited June 14, 2004 by bague25 (log)

[adoxograph]

Sure, fine, everyone needs a scapegoat.

Eat something, will ya? :)

[Monica Bhide]

Dr Jones... I am really looking forward to this one

[GG Mora]

Cheeky.

[Rebel Rose]

You've got a tough crowd this week. Winesonoma edited a one-word post!

[mongo_jones]

"perhaps this yarn is the only thing that holds this man together, some say he was never here at all"--tom waits, swordfishtrombones

as everyone knows form and genre are more important considerations than content and so after being tagged i spent some time looking at how some recent bloggers approached their blogs. as far as i can see i'm supposed to introduce myself here, describe and possibly post pictures of my pets, talk a little about my daily routine, list my food perversions and then start furiously taking pictures of everything i eat for the next 7 days. who am i to buck tradition? as most of those who've encountered me on egullet know, i am a shy, unassuming, uncontroversial type and i hardly think this foodblog is the place to buck that reputation. so on with it.

the david copperfield kind of crap:

i was born and raised in india. my father was in the indian airforce and so we lived all over the country two years at a time (very unusual for indians who are even now largely moored to their region), and in iraq for three years from 1978-1980. i also went to an ex-british boarding school in darjeeling for 5 years--which means i know what eton fives are and i get to behave like an authority on tea even though we drank the most terrible muddy-brown glop three times a day. my last 5 years in india were spent in new delhi--first getting a degree in literature at the unfortunately named hindu college and then taking 2 years to realize that a potentially lucrative career in advertizing was not for me. for reasons that i can now no longer remember i applied to phd programs in literature in the u.s and in fairly short order ended up at the university of southern california in los angeles. i remained there for 10 years, not getting and then getting my degree, and more importantly discovering the most glorious chinese, korean, mexican, thai and central american cuisines. along the way i also discovered just how bad indian food in the u.s can be and just how excited many americans are willing to get about it (but doubtless there'll be more on this in the days to come). in los angeles i also became a fan of the clippers--which may be as much as anyone needs to know to understand my psychology. nba basketball is fun to watch but football (soccer) is life.

last summer mrs. jones and i upped and moved to boulder, colorado. so i get to represent both india and the exotic rocky mountain region on the foodblog map. i am still an indian citizen but i don't yet have a colorado i.d.

pets:

my evil wife will allow no pets (she has enough trouble cleaning up my dung), but if she did i would have dogs and not cats. a well-kept secret that i am willing to let you in on free of charge: dog people are better than cat people. but the blog demands pets and so here's pictures of two stuffed animals instead:

i am not much for cutesiness but this is the minky

and this the original mongo jones

i won them at games of chance at a carnival in los angeles (well, universal citywalk actually). they don't need to be fed but i am happy to pose them next to plates of food if people would like that. i would post a picture of myself but i don't show up in pictures or mirrors (makes shaving very painful).

the daily routine:

like every other good indian i rise in the morning from my bed of nails, propitiate the family god (in colorado it is considered heresy to have any god other than john elway) and wash the elephant. this done i spend two hours doing yoga and meditating on the mysteries of the universe (questions i have recently considered include: why does fairfax avenue between olympic and pico boulevards in los angeles only have one lane in each direction? and have steven tyler and joan rivers ever been seen together?). this done i fall into a vegetative state in front of the computer, rising only to void my bowels and bladder and to cook and eat (more on this too in the days to come--my bowels and bladder i mean, i know that's what you're really here for). i don't watch as much tv as i used to but i still believe that everything anyone needs to know can be learned from the simpsons. and that when all else fails monty python and the kids in the hall will save us. and oh yes, i watch about 15 movies a month and read far less than i should.

food perversions:

i am an omnivore. there are very few things i will not eat. these include: dog, cockroach, spider and most importantly, eggplant/brinjal. i don't believe any explanations are necessary.

as you can see i am a man of few words and fewer principles and will be willing over the next 7 days to endorse from this awful (in the old testament sense) bully-pulpit any and all political/social agendas that have payment behind them (paypal information will be transmitted in a dream).

was that graham chapman's voice i just heard, telling me to "get on with it"?

right

Edited June 14, 2004 by mongo_jones (log)

[Jinmyo]

Well, well, wellywelly well.

[mongo_jones]

i know some of you are wondering why i agreed to do a blog. i'll get to that in a minute. first let me give you a rough sketch of what you can expect foodwise. the following are the current contents of the jones household freezer, refrigerator and larder:

1 whole chicken

2 lbs mackerel cut up

2 small whole yellow croaker (a chinese/korean fish)

2 lbs catfish fillets

1 cauliflower

spinach

potatoes

1 highly out of season small butternut squash

tomatoes

1 sweet potato

all kinds of dals (lentils)

red beans

garlic

all manner of indian spices

1 lb medium shrimp

cilantro

green chillies

i will visit the local indian grocery tomorrow to replenish my supply of ginger and curry leaves. if they have any i will also purchase raw mangoes and okra. most of the above will be cooked at some point. all of this constitutes normal food operations in our house. the only differences from a non-blog week are that a) mrs. jones will not cook quite as much (though for your vicarious sakes i hope to talk her into doing it once or twice) and b)as a special treat i will make something my cardiologist doesn't want me to make: chicken liver curry (chicken liver was the only "for the foodblog" purchase but the whole package cost 59 cents. hmmm maybe there's reasons other than cholesterol why i shouldn't eat it). i will take requests for things to do to the listed raw material and will probably disregard them completely. i will cook what i know and what we like to eat and, while patience holds, will photograph them on my crappy 2 megapixel digital camera.

right, why did i agree to do the blog? there's many reasons: i'm a windbag; nobody loves me and i need validation; and most importantly, i know there must be some doctors out there: i have this horrible thing (or more accurately series of things) on my ass that i'll be posting pictures of; i hope somebody will be able to prescribe something. i like eating doughnuts but sitting on them to work at the computer is really messing with my chair.

(edit to add refrigerator contents i'd forgotten about)

Edited June 14, 2004 by mongo_jones (log)

[mongo_jones]

excellent. this blog business is paying off immediate dividends. i'll wait for the tyler/rivers sightings to pour in. in the meantime, does anyone in colorado know why every restaurant in boulder is in a strip mall?

[andiesenji]

I am also looking forward to your blog adventures. You have a great way with words......

Andie

[Pan]

Mongo:

I don't know about anyone else, but I've found your last two posts LOL funny.

[bleudauvergne]

...all manner of indian spices...

Can you give me more of a descriptive on the spices please?

[tryska]

hey Mongo - bet My Uncle and your Dad worked together.

great blog so far.

[mongo_jones]

...all manner of indian spices...

Can you give me more of a descriptive on the spices please?

the standard north-indian repertoire. off the top of my head:

turmeric

hot chilli powder

kashmiri chilli powder (not so hot, imparts a nice color)

coriander powder

cumin powder

curry powder (commercial)

amchur (mango powder)

garam masala (commercial)

hing (asafoetida)

mace

whole cloves, cinnamon, green and black cardamom

black peppercorns

black salt

dried bay leaves

black mustard seeds

methi (fenugreek) seeds

cumin seeds

panch phoron (the bengali five-seed mix)

my mother's "only made in my house" spice mix for sprinkling on things (god knows what's in it--okay, so this one isn't standard but doubtless most indian homes have their own variation)

kasoori methi (dried fenugreek leaves)

chaat masala

poppy seeds

ajwain (spacing on what this is in english)

black cumin

kalonji (onion seed)

sambhar masala (commercial)

rajma masala (commercial)

dry red chillies

fennel seeds

i've probably missed a few. the fact that i've only marked some of them "commercial" doesn't mean i manufacture the rest myself. these are merely the spices that indian food purists insist should be made at home. that's as maybe but as i've said in conversations in the india forum, if commercial spice-mixes are good enough for millions of home cooks in india and the diaspora they're good enough for me.

and now, lest anyone has concerns about the lack of pictures in this blog so far, here's one of breakfast:

a cup of lipton green label darjeeling tea. like a good calcutta bengali (which i'm not but my mother is) i drink my tea brewed in the english style. i'm not opposed to masala tea but darjeeling is not the tea for that.

Edited June 14, 2004 by mongo_jones (log)

[mongo_jones]

Mongo

You MUST talk about the 'forbidden fruit'

why mangoes are the forbidden fruit:

http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showtopic=41363&st=0

and while you're there folks check out the rest of the india forum

[jschyun]

I knew it was only a matter of time before mongo did his blog.

[andiesenji]

What a fantastic selection of spices and herbs.

My array of Indian spices and herbs is not quite as formidible as yours but I have a fair selection.

I believe I inherited the interest, or developed it from early exposure.

My grandfather spent several years in India, mostly northern, during the first decade of the last century. He developed a passion for Indian foods and Indian culture in general.

After emigrating to America in 1919 he settled on a farm in western Kentucky and insisted on at least one Indian meal a week. His cook was a Gullah woman from the Carolina lowcountry and learned to prepare the meals he liked.

He had to import most of the spices, herb seeds, vegetables, not usually found in that area at that time.

By the time I appeared in 1939 some things were difficult to import but he still got a tea chest packed with goodies, from one of his old friends, who still lived in India, every few months.

I did not realize at the time how interesting the household was. I wish I had paid more attention.

We had traditional English foods, southern "soul" food, typical foods of the area and Indian foods. Curries, hot, sweet, sour, various chutneys, and sideboys, as well as foods from the middle east from his few years in Egypt.

No wonder I love diverse foods.......