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I thought I had heard everything until...


tan319

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Oy, Tan, had NOTHING to do with your dessert. Zippity-do-dah. People are just irritable and irritating morons sometimes.

:biggrin: I will tell you that at my bookstore, a few years ago, one of my longtime customers was basically behaving like that, and I smacked him. But I don't really recommend this as an effective response.

I like that response to customers.

"Excuse me , I heard that you consider my dessert too abstract to consume, am I right, Sir, Madame?"

"

Why yes..."

"The cracking sound of a bitchslap, plate smashing over head, the whooosh of a blowtorch turning on"

I'll think about that.

2317/5000

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Hey Ted,

I know it sucks, but it happens and it's gonna happen again. Sometimes things in the diners minds just don't add up to what you've sent them. Don't let it bother you. YOU know it rocked. As does everyone else. Let it slide.

My favorite is the creme brulee to go.

Timothy C. Horst

www.pastrypros.com

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Hey Ted,

I know it sucks, but it happens and it's gonna happen again. Sometimes things in the diners minds just don't add up to what you've sent them. Don't let it bother you. YOU know it rocked. As does everyone else. Let it slide.

My favorite is the creme brulee to go.

Yes, love the 'brulees to go.

File that alongside an order for some milk chocolate/hazelnut ice cream w/o the hazelnuts, please :wink:

2317/5000

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The topper was one table that demanded NO WHITE FOOD! White flour, white sugar, milk, or cream were fine as ingredients but the FINISHED DISH COULD NOT BE WHITE! We concluded that there was a mental health issue involved. :hmmm:

Worked as a travel agent for many years. Had one client that could not stand the color blue. Before reserving rooms at hotels, I had to telephone the concierge desk and ask them to go inspect the room very carefully and assure me that there was no blue in it -- at all, whatsoever. No blue flowers in the bedspread. No blue skies in the paintings on the walls. They then had to reserve just that one particular room for my particular client. I made it clear to the concierge that if the man saw any blue he would check out at once and demand a full refund.

Do you have any idea just how popular blue is?

Believe me, I do.

:wacko:

I don't understand why rappers have to hunch over while they stomp around the stage hollering.  It hurts my back to watch them. On the other hand, I've been thinking that perhaps I should start a rap group here at the Old Folks' Home.  Most of us already walk like that.

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When I did my short trial at Charlie Trotter's, I got to talking to the dessert crew about the strange requests that come in from guests. All the usual like no gluten, vegetarain, vegan, no sugar (diabetic), etc. The topper was one table that demanded NO WHITE FOOD! White flour, white sugar, milk, or cream were fine as ingredients but the FINISHED DISH COULD NOT BE WHITE! We concluded that there was a mental health issue involved. :hmmm:

It had to have been Suzanne F's dinner guest on the evening of her dinner party gone bad - :biggrin::laugh::biggrin::laugh::laugh:

I once worked for a man who used to eat at the finest restaurants worldwide. Among all of the various tedious tasks I would execute for him daily, I also had to secure his reservations. This guy was a wierd cookie. I distinctly recall one evening when he was not traveling and we were both at a dinner, when he returned a steak because he had ordered it without a garnish and it came with a garnish. When the plate came back, this time with the plain steak and a spare pile of steamed haricots verts on the side. This time he sent it back because he had not requested vegetables with the dish. Next, it was cold. Next, it was overcooked. The worst thing was that he would not speak directly to the waiter, he relayed the message through me. It was a rather traumatizing experience.

Screw the bastards who wouldn't even taste your dessert.

Edited by bleudauvergne (log)
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Repeat my mantra for the 21st century: "People are stupid and cars are ugly."

People have no right to be stupid.

It ain't in the Constitution. I looked it up. :laugh:

Sadly, I know someone who won't eat white food. It came about when he worked in a fast food place as a teen and something happened. What happened, he won't say. He's been to therapy and it hasn't helped.

I try to discourage him from eating out. :wink:

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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As a full-time customer (never having worked in the restaurant business) people like this really get on my nerves. They make things bad for those of us that are pleasant and well behaved by making it bad for the employees (who sometimes are friends) of whatever restaurant I happen to be dining at. For instance, overheard at Babbo at a bar table one night "how are people supposed to know what's in any of the dishes, it's all in italian." And then she proceeded to scold the waiter (loudly) for her linguistic difficulties. Babbo Menu. I wanted to beat her on his behalf.

You should have dumped the dessert on their heads (I am sure the waiter wanted to).

I, for one, think the dessert sounds delicious (and quite pretty).

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For instance, overheard at Babbo at a bar table one night "how are people supposed to know what's in any of the dishes, it's all in italian."

I just now glanced at thate menu - one of the item descriptions says the dish is cooked in "Sicilian Lifeguard style". I tried running that phrase through the Google Language Translator from "Italian to English" - the results were astounding - it comes out exactly the same in English!!!

I distinctly recall one evening when he was not traveling and we were both at a dinner, when he returned a steak because he had ordered it without a garnish and it came with a garnish.

Bleu - I sympathize with your dilemma as this guy was clearly a bit obsessive but I also sympathize with my father's plight. He's a very plain meat and potatoes type of guy (doesn't use pepper, won't eat any kind of salad, no rice, nothing with a red sauce - hopefully you get the picture). All he asks for when he eats out (which is rarely and not in expensive restaurants) is that he get only the meat and potatoes on the plate. He painstakingly and very politely clarifies that he wants there to be no garnishes on the plate: no pasley, no lettuce, no little cup or tartar sauce or pickle or lemon wedge - just the meat or fish and the potatoes. Sounds simple enough, right? Uh uh. Time after time the plate is delivered with all the extra crap on there, despite the eager server having given assurances that they understood his request. One waitress even informed him that "the cook makes me serve it this way"!

I recognize that this is a bit OT but it kills me to see a situation like this where the simplest of requests is consistently ignored (he only orders ice cream ir pie for dessert and thankfully, that doesn't come with garnish in t

he places where he eats!).

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Thank you for posting about difficult customers...I have been cooking for a client with a two page list of food issues and restrictions.He's a nice enough guy but his concerns and compulsions are at times overwhelming.

I now know how to reinvent the wheel :biggrin:

There are too many things to list but here are a few...

No wheat (celiac issues)

no salt, pepper or dairy (except sea salt and feta cheese-must be imported, not domestic)

no fruit of any kind including citric acid

no corn/nuts/ seeds/tomatoes

no alcohol except sake and potato vodka

no chocolate, coffee, or tea (except licorice root)

no red meat

no juice except carrot

no maple syrup

no bread

no beans - except black, string or soy

the only grain or starch he can have is rice, oats or potato

the only oil is olive,canola, soy

the only vinegar he can have is rice or balsamic (I know, it doesn't make sense - he can also eat onions but no garlic - go figure)

He can have organic cane sugar

He has decided he can have half and half and sweet butter, so that has improved the repetoire.

(I can now make flan -about the only dessert he can eat- without soy milk - yeah!)

He has also been a vegetarian for years and is starting to eat turkey and fish but it can't look like it comes from the animal so no skin or bones.

He has to have at least four meals a day and a dessert.

According to his helpful hints - "variety and flavor are key. Creative sauces are welcomed and generous portions are a must."

Each time it's trial and error, and I've learned to accept his criticism, because he's paying for it.

(Or at least his producer is).

And then I make and eat a bacon tomato roasted garlic sandwich, followed by a piece of chocolate cake, and feel much better.:biggrin:

We need to find courage, overcome

Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction

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I can't tell you how thrilled I'd be to be served a lemon nap.

thrilled.

One of my co-workers had difficulty with one of his clients (the red stripe in the gray suit was just "too" red, in spite of my partner's many warnings that it would be very red.) After much discussion, my partner told the client he was: a) keeping the suit and b) was not ever doing business with us again.

Two weeks later the client called to apologize, and placed an order for $30,000 worth of new clothes.

Sometimes, you just gotta stand up for yourself.

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For instance, overheard at Babbo at a bar table one night "how are people supposed to know what's in any of the dishes, it's all in italian."

I just now glanced at thate menu - one of the item descriptions says the dish is cooked in "Sicilian Lifeguard style". I tried running that phrase through the Google Language Translator from "Italian to English" - the results were astounding - it comes out exactly the same in English!!!

Perhaps just as amusing is that in his book, Simple Italian Food, Mario says he made the term up simply to impress customers.

Dave Scantland
Executive director
dscantland@eGstaff.org
eG Ethics signatory

Eat more chicken skin.

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...... and feta cheese-must be imported, not domestic

What? He didn't state Greek or Bulgarian? some people will eat anything :wink:

Actually, I've been using Valbreso feta from France. It's creamier and more versatile for me, as I use it in sauces and to pump up the one soy cheese he will eat.

But I can't tell you how fucking bored I am with feta... :laugh:

We need to find courage, overcome

Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction

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The topper was one table that demanded NO WHITE FOOD! White flour, white sugar, milk, or cream were fine as ingredients but the FINISHED DISH COULD NOT BE WHITE! We concluded that there was a mental health issue involved. :hmmm:

Worked as a travel agent for many years. Had one client that could not stand the color blue. Before reserving rooms at hotels, I had to telephone the concierge desk and ask them to go inspect the room very carefully and assure me that there was no blue in it -- at all, whatsoever. No blue flowers in the bedspread. No blue skies in the paintings on the walls. They then had to reserve just that one particular room for my particular client. I made it clear to the concierge that if the man saw any blue he would check out at once and demand a full refund.

Do you have any idea just how popular blue is?

Believe me, I do.

:wacko:

Jaymes are you real certain his alias was not Mephistopheles??? :laugh::laugh:

Monkeymay, dear child, I sure hope your getting paid from the good end of the hog. If that client were on a desert isle, I bet the first thing he'd start daydreaming about would be BACON

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Monkeymay, dear child, I sure hope your getting paid from the good end of the hog. If that client were on a desert isle, I bet the first thing he'd start daydreaming about would be    BACON

Yes, Miss Maybelline, I am sucking the devil's teat big time. When does one stop whoring?

And if he ever does eat bacon, I want to be there for the mouth sores and throat swelling that he says he gets from all the foods he supposedly can't eat... :angry:

Suzanne - I knoowww - I have been craving NYC so much lately - think there's still room for an old hooker like me? :biggrin:

We need to find courage, overcome

Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction

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I bet you anything that they were just too full, and decided on that as a tactic to not pay for your delicious dessert.

I think it is the opposite case. I think the customer was still very hungry. It's almost impossible to get full on the abstract. My experience is that if you eat something abstract , 2 hours later, you're hungry again. While the lemon napoleon sounds absolutely delicious to me, your customer would have been happier with one of those Pennsylvania Dutch apple dumplings, they're the size of a cannon ball, and after eating one, he would've been full for at least the next two weeks.

"A fool", he said, "would have swallowed it". Samuel Johnson

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I bet you anything that they were just too full, and decided on that as a tactic to not pay for your delicious dessert.

I think it is the opposite case. I think the customer was still very hungry. It's almost impossible to get full on the abstract. My experience is that if you eat something abstract , 2 hours later, you're hungry again. While the lemon napoleon sounds absolutely delicious to me, your customer would have been happier with one of those Pennsylvania Dutch apple dumplings, they're the size of a cannon ball, and after eating one, he would've been full for at least the next two weeks.

That wouldn't be the case, I assure you.

The customers didn't complain about the size of it, it was the look.

I try to keep my desserts sized so that people won't be totally engorged with food and it's a pleasent experience, a nice ending to a meal.

That's an increasingly hard thing to do with all the overportioning that goes on in our biz, and it's a tough thing to fight.

For instance, my wife, daughter and I had dinner there two weeks ago or so, the guys threw a b-day celebration for me ( they gave me the El Bulii 98/02 book, gracious bastards!!!)

:biggrin:

We has a small app, no bread, my wife had a elk rack, I had a lamb shank, my daughter had a kids plate of a small chicken breast,etc.

My daughter was jonesing for "some of my wonderful desserts" ( her words) and by the time we finished, it was no contest, no room for it.

I half jokingly mentioned it to my chef the next week, my concern about portions and he said he would get strung up, customers would go ballistic, and the GM and manager of the servers agreed.

So there you go, people want to be stuffed, I've had maybe one complaint about the size of my stuff, and unless we turn into a steakhouse ( something the chef and I have been discussing, believe it or not) you won't see me serving up any gigantic piles of crap to anyone, no matter how good it tastes.

I know you were joking, just had to throw my 2 cents back in.

2317/5000

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Yum on the elk rack. It is an almost liver-y flavor, but still distinct. Next to antelope, my favorite.

My wife couldn't stop talking about it...

2317/5000

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"People are stupid and cars are ugly."

People have no right to be stupid.

It ain't in the Constitution. I looked it up. :laugh:

Dave Valentin

Retired Explosive Detection K9 Handler

"So, what if we've got it all backwards?" asks my son.

"Got what backwards?" I ask.

"What if chicken tastes like rattlesnake?" My son, the Einstein of the family.

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