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Beware the Ides of March!


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Today, I try not to bestride the world quite so much like a Colossus. And, of course, I need to remind myself when lunchtime comes around not to cry havoc! and let slip the hotdogs of war.

--

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With apologies to the Bard, and under fair use standards of parody.....

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to digest Caesar, not to praise it.

The evil that salad does lives after it;

The good is oft consumed with the dressing;

So let it be with Caesar.

The noble Romaine Hath told you Caesar had anchovies:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.

Here, under leaves of Romaine and the rest--

For Romaine is an honourable green;

So are they all, all honourable greens--

Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.

He was my lunch, faithful and just to me:

But Romaine says he had anchovies;

And Romaine is an honourable green.

He hath brought many eggs home to salad.

Whose gullets did the general recipe fill:

Did this in Caesar taste anchovies?

When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:

Anchovies should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Romaine says it was anchovies;

And Romaine is an honourable green.

You all did see that on Alton Brown

I thrice presented it a kingly crown,

Which it did thrice refuse: was this anchovies?

Yet Romaine says it was anchovies;

And, sure, he is an honourable green.

I speak not to disprove what Romaine spoke,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did love it once, not without cause:

What cause withholds you then, to mourn for it?

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,

And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;

My heartburn is in my stomach with Caesar,

And I must pause till Tums does relieve me.

Edited by JPW (log)

If someone writes a book about restaurants and nobody reads it, will it produce a 10 page thread?

Joe W

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Exceptional! I am in the presence of greatness! I'll share as well, a song of praise for a dinner I prepared and from which my avatar is a remembrance...

We Happy Few

(a song in praise of a ten-course Qabalistic Feast held on the Eve of Saints Simon and Jude, October 27, 2001 Era Vulgara)

A Loving Tribute to

Ms. Carolyn Tillie

(in stunned gratitude for an exquisite evening of food and friendship)

by

Archbishop Lon Milo DuQuette

(with some help from William Shakespeare)

Robcluff:

O that we now had here

But one ten thousand of those Qabalists

That gorge not themselves today!

ARCHBISHOP LON:

What's he that wishes so?

My brother Robcluff ? No, my fair brother:

If we are mark'd to expode, we are enow

To do our Order loss; and if to live,

The fewer maws, the greater share of victuals.

God's will! I pray thee, wish not one chair more.

By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,

Nor care I my girth is held in ridicule;

It yearns me not if men leave my tomes unread;

Such outward things dwell not in my desires:

But if it be a sin to covet rich foods and fine wine,

I am the most offending soul alive.

No, faith, my bro, wish not one mouth more:

God's peace! I would not lose so great a filling

As one guest more, methinks, would share from me

For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!

Rather proclaim it, Robcluff, through my host,

That he which hath no stomach to this repast,

Let him depart; his passport shall be made

And crowns for convoy put into his purse:

We would not glut in that man's company

That fears his fellowship to stuff with us.

This day is the Eve of Saints Simon & Jude:

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,

Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,

And rouse him at the names Simon & Jude.

He that shall live this day, and see old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbors,

And say 'To-morrow's the feast of Saints Simon & Jude:

Then will he loosen his belt, pull up his shirt and shew his stretch-marks.

And say 'These wounds I had on Saints Simon & Jude Eve.'

Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,

But he'll remember with advantages

What delicacies he et that day: then shall our names

Familiar in his mouth as household words

Archbishop Lon, Saint Constance of the Well,

LeRoy the Sage and Troubadour Jane,

Their Most Excellent Graces, Doug and Karen,

Divine Fool Michael, Lady Sandy, and Queen Vinetta,

Sir Robcluff and Damsel Liesl,

Maestro Jonathan and Consort Leslie,

Shawn the Seer, and Sweet Goddess Carrie,

She to whom we surrender our palates,

Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.

This story shall the fat man teach his son;

And Saints Simon & Jude eve shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remember'd;

We few, we happy few, we band of drooling brothers and sisters;

For them today that cram their guts with me

Shall be my kin; be they ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle their condition:

And Qabalists everywhere now enhungered a-bed

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

And hold their gluttony cheap whiles any speaks

That dined with us upon Simon's & Jude's Eve!

Lon Milo DuQuette

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Culinary speaking, I think the key thing to remember is not to stir out of your house today.

Cheers,

Squeat

Generally, I'm more concerned about the Ides of April. :angry:

word. i'm with you.

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But for supporting anchovies, shall we now

Contaminate our fingers with base fish,

And sell the mighty space of our large honours

For so much trash as may be grasped thus?

I had rather be a dog, and bay the moon,

Than such a Romaine.

Okay, I'll stop now.

No, no! Please go on!!!! I'm lov'n this stuff!

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I am rolling with laughter! and secretly wishing I had paid more attention in ancient world history so I could be even close to this witty.

What's wrong with peanut butter and mustard? What else is a guy supposed to do when we are out of jelly?

-Dad

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With apologies to the Bard, and under fair use standards of parody.....

The noble Romaine Hath told you Caesar had anchovies:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

Brilliant! only I think you have a typo in that line - shouldn't it be

"If it were so, it was a grievous salt..."

???

And as far as I'm concerned the worst things about this Ides of March are:

1) I'm not ready to plant peas;

2) I'm not ready to send in my corporate tax return.

Edited by balmagowry (log)
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We had Caesar Salad for dinner tonight - like many Ides of March over the years with no ill effects. I've usually put it on menus as well to see if anyone really pays attention.

The real fun off beat "holidays" to menu for are Beltane, the equinox(es), solstices, candlemass days....the list goes on. I was a corporate chef for a few years and once in a while someone would catch on.

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The real fun off beat "holidays" to menu for are Beltane, the equinox(es), solstices, candlemass days....the list goes on. I was a corporate chef for a few years and once in a while someone would catch on.

Beltane! OMG, what could you possibly get away with serving for Beltane?

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:wink:

I'd like the whole list, actually: Beltane, Samhain, the equinoctial feasts, Candlemas...what do you serve for any/all these occasions?

:cool:

Actually, now that I think of it, Beltane is pretty simple. One hell of a lot of whipped cream ought to do the trick. And maybe a good stiff brandy for afters.

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:wink:

I'd like the whole list, actually: Beltane, Samhain, the equinoctial feasts, Candlemas...what do you serve for any/all these occasions?

:cool:

When I was into Paganism, Beltaine was marked with Venusian-inspired food like oysters on the half-shell, strawberries and cream, chocolate and champagne, caviar, or most anything that would enhance one's libido.

I used to also make a cake inspired by the <ahem> May pole (if you get my meaning...)

Samhain was marked by the end of Fall and the beginning of Winter - lots of Fall-inspired foods like pumpkin soup, spiced cider, dried fruits, etc.

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When I was into Paganism, Beltaine was marked with Venusian-inspired food like oysters on the half-shell, strawberries and cream, chocolate and champagne, caviar, or most anything that would enhance one's libido.

I used to also make a cake inspired by the <ahem>  May pole (if you get my meaning...)

Why, no, I simply can't imagine what you could be referring to.

Now, about that stiff brandy....

:raz:

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Why, no, I simply can't imagine what you could be referring to.

Now, about that stiff brandy....

:raz:

I'd paint you a picture, but I've had my hand slapped for that sort of thing before and won't risk it again! :cool:

I'm not a brandy-sort-of-gal, but yeah, it would work...

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On the equinox, sometimes I'd do a black and white bean soup, sweet and sour shrimp, stuff that evoked dicotomy.

On summer solstice, sunny side up eggs, sundried tomato ravioli....you get the drift.

Now on Beltane, or National Sex in the Woods day here in Oregon, I'd usually have stashed some truffles for a truffled risotto with wild mushrooms, seared naked lamb chops, chocolate decadence.........

I loved serving rabbit black bean chili the day after Easter.

Ah, fun with food!

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