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Alcohol Abominations


sml311

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I have been laughing so hard, reading this old post while I should be doing some work. Along the lines of the kool aid shot, taken to the next level by calorie conscious freshman college girls...crystal light and cheap vodka! Mmmmm, I ended up snoring in the bathroom stall that night, head against the toilet. What fun.

dahlsk

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my old flatmate collects weird bottles of local liqueurs, which all his friends bring back with them from holiday. every now and then he goes off on a bender (which of us doesn't). the stand-out cocktail he made was banana liqueur, feni, creme de menthe and ouzo. i didn't try it - coward that i am - but it looked gross.

at university we used to do yards of ale with creme de menthe, called Martians.

and not alcoholic, but the sports mad ones at university had pints of orange juice and coke. they looked like mud.

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Oh dear. My first time stumbling across this thread. Tuna colada. Oh dear.

Confessions from my own misspent youth:

I was one of a small cadre of high school marching band members who would smuggle booze into the football games--I took some perverse pride in being the one who suggested pouring the contraband into an empty green gingerale bottle, and being the one to do the buy at a local convenience store that never carded anyone. Our tipple of choice was this nasty pre-mixed screwdriver concoction called "Tango" -- as the name suggests, it tasted as if it had been made with Tang.

There was of course all the usual misguided hijinks with Boones Farm psuedo-fruit-flavored nonsense.

The best bad-drink story from my college days was actually a non-booze fake-out. Some friends and I were responsible for throwing a dorm-wide dance party, and despite having bought several half-gallons of cheap vodka with which to make punch, we'd run out of the booze with an hour of party still to go. So we mix up a punchbowl full of the punch base sans booze (the base was admittedly pretty vile to start with--an overly-sweet concoction containing rainbow sherbet among other things). We set the punchbowl out on the refreshment table, and then one of our number goes parading out, ostentatiously bearing one of the previously-emptied half-gallon vodka bottles, now filled with plain tapwater. Having succeeded in getting the attention of everyone in the hall, he pours the entire half-gallon into the punchbowl. The crowds descended on said punchbowl like rabid animals--some of them actually started behaving as if the stuff was getting them off. Meanwhile we're secretly laughing our butts off. This became one of the high-points in the history of my little college posse.

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When I was about 12, a guy down the street who was 15 or 16, asked me to raid my mother's liquor cabinet for $20. He said if I only took a little out of each bottle, she would never know (and since she didn't drink after my parent’s divorce, she never did). So into an empty, but not completely clean pickle jar, I remember putting in the following ingredients, in near-equal parts:

Bacardi Light Rum

Bacardi 151

Smirnoff 100 proof Vodka

Chivas Regal

Cutty Sark

Black Velvet

Beefeater Gin

Wild Turkey

B&B

Kahlua

Amaretto di Sarono

Saki

There was still room in the jar, but I ran out of booze, so I topped it off with some red wine vinegar. I gave the guy the jar and he gave me the $20 (which I spent on records, Wings Over America and Magical Mystery Tour) and a trip to A&W for some Mama burgers and root beer.

I can only imagine how my concoction tasted, but I guess it did the job because the guy got so wasted, he fell out of a tree house and broke a leg and an arm. I’m lucky he didn’t rat me out. (BTW, I still have the records).

"Homer, he's out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head on the bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review! True Story." Luigi, The Simpsons

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I know a guy who'd happily do those "bar-mat shots" whenever he ran low on funds while in college. He also described a vile concoction named an "Abortion" that included an egg yolk, orange pulp, and a lot of sickeningly sweet liqueurs, and high-alcohol liquors -- made me sick just hearing the description.

(Edit: me no spel so gud)

Edited by Grub (log)
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