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"Foreign Objects"


NeroW

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In the Sanitation classes here at school, they are referred to as the "physical hazards."

They are: staples in ice cream, hair in hamburgers, Band-aids in salads.

Anything stand out for you in particular? In the grade school cafeteria, my sister found a dirty penny at the bottom of her chocolate milk carton. Also in this same cafeteria, I found what looked like a human molar in my pizza.

I once found what looked like a pill-bug in my take-out beef and broccoli, and I've found human hairs in take-out pizzas more times that I can count.

What about you? Anything disgusting?

Noise is music. All else is food.

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I was once sitting next to my Ex when a beetle crawled out of his takeout chinese. It was sad, the place was a great little joint that cooked everything fresh to order, right there in front of you. Never ate there again, needless to say.

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A sweet little inchworm on my salad at Quincy Market in Boston during a frigid "Noreaster" with winds up to 40 mph ... ... he/she was kind of dancing along the leaves ... asked the waiter to spare its life ... sure .. out of my sight, I daresay he smashed the worm and returned my salad to me .. fluffing up the leaves ever so gently ... ick ... :hmmm:

but he did "comp" the dessert ... :rolleyes:

Edited by Gifted Gourmet (log)

Melissa Goodman aka "Gifted Gourmet"

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At the risk of having all participants of this thread go running screaming from the room... My stint at FDA many years ago turned up some interesting things. We were the reporting office for the southeast and all of these kinds of consumer complaints came in there.

Mouse in the bottom of a can of spinach.

A severed digit in a can of green beans.

But the topper was these "fluffy" looking things in bottles of flavored douche. :wacko: "You taste it!" "No. You taste it." "Get Mikey to taste it!" And, yes, we did test it after we regained our composure. Turns out something was crystallizing out. It wasn't mold as originally thought. (If you have any memory of the culture of the late 60s you will understand why the whole thing freaked us out.)

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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A few years ago, at Yobo in Newburgh NY I had the misfortune of having the band-aid that had previously inhabited our waiter's thumb re-appear in my dessert - I would have preferred to notice this before it made its way into my mouth, but alas it was destined to be discovered as I attempted to figure out what was chewy about my whipped cream. Strangely enough, in retrospect I'm not sure the band-aid was the strangest part of the meal. Needless to say, I haven't been back icon8.gif

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A sweet little inchworm on my salad at Quincy Market

What was the restaurant if you don't mind me asking? Just curious if I know of it; I go to Quincy Market once in a while. The comedy connection attracts some decent comics.

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When I was at grad school I found in some French bread, hair that had been kneaded into it. Suspiciously kinky hair. Never ate their French bread again, and it was one of the few decent things at the cafeteria (at the School for International Training, which supposedly had very good food for a school cafeteria).

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I cut my tongue on a piece of glass I found in my Campbell's soup. I sent the offending shard of glass and the empty can to their headquarters. They sent me back coupons for MORE soup!!! :wacko:

Katie M. Loeb
Booze Muse, Spiritual Advisor

Author: Shake, Stir, Pour:Fresh Homegrown Cocktails

Cheers!
Bartendrix,Intoxicologist, Beverage Consultant, Philadelphia, PA
Captain Liberty of the Good Varietals, Aphrodite of Alcohol

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A sweet little inchworm on my salad at Quincy Market

What was the restaurant if you don't mind me asking? Just curious if I know of it; I go to Quincy Market once in a while. The comedy connection attracts some decent comics.

If memory serves me correctly, Dr. Alzheimer, this happened some years ago and the restaurant was like a greenhouse outside another building ... can not recall the name, only that sweet little inchworm ... he has gone on to greater things, no doubt .... :unsure:

Edited by Gifted Gourmet (log)

Melissa Goodman aka "Gifted Gourmet"

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Poking around my bowl of beef noodles, from the "famous" stall at Jalan Silang, Kuala Lumpur, I thought the noodles that day looked surprisingly plump. Turned out the plump noodles was the tail part of a lizard cut in half, complete with petrified feet at either side.

My bloodcurdling scream had no effect on the other patrons, they went right back to their noodles after registering my find. :shock::shock:

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I cut my tongue on a piece of glass I found in my Campbell's soup. I sent the offending shard of glass and the empty can to their headquarters. They sent me back coupons for MORE soup!!! :wacko:

Yes! Why on earth do they think that you will ever, EVER want their product again? :blink: I've gotten coupons for facial tissues (large flying bug ironed into the paper); granola (cobwebby pupae hanging in glassine bag), and hotel upgrades (a very long and complicated story, with each of the hotel's screw-ups -- the last of which was plastic wrap still on the piece of fish on a freebie make-up dinner -- causing a larger "reward" for me).

For a very funny take on making this happen, try to see the play alternately called Nourish the Beast or Baba Goya, by Steve Tesich. In which they say,

- We could really use a new car.

- Okay, get out the typewriter: Dear Mr. Ford . . .

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I cut my tongue on a piece of glass I found in my Campbell's soup.  I sent the offending shard of glass and the empty can to their headquarters.  They sent me back coupons for MORE soup!!!  :wacko:

Yes! Why on earth do they think that you will ever, EVER want their product again? :blink: I've gotten coupons for facial tissues (large flying bug ironed into the paper); granola (cobwebby pupae hanging in glassine bag), and hotel upgrades (a very long and complicated story, with each of the hotel's screw-ups -- the last of which was plastic wrap still on the piece of fish on a freebie make-up dinner -- causing a larger "reward" for me).

For a very funny take on making this happen, try to see the play alternately called Nourish the Beast or Baba Goya, by Steve Tesich. In which they say,

- We could really use a new car.

- Okay, get out the typewriter: Dear Mr. Ford . . .

Suzanne:

The kicker for me was having my ex-husband suggest that he sue them for "disruption of marital consortium" due to my injured mouth. :blink: That pretty much cinched it for me that he really was the selfish asshole I'd only suspected he was previously.

Katie M. Loeb
Booze Muse, Spiritual Advisor

Author: Shake, Stir, Pour:Fresh Homegrown Cocktails

Cheers!
Bartendrix,Intoxicologist, Beverage Consultant, Philadelphia, PA
Captain Liberty of the Good Varietals, Aphrodite of Alcohol

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The kicker for me was having my ex-husband suggest that he sue them for "disruption of marital consortium" due to my injured mouth. :blink:  That pretty much cinched it for me that he really was the selfish asshole I'd only suspected he was previously.

Perhaps he was a lawyer? :rolleyes:

Melissa Goodman aka "Gifted Gourmet"

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The kicker for me was having my ex-husband suggest that he sue them for "disruption of marital consortium" due to my injured mouth. :blink:  That pretty much cinched it for me that he really was the selfish asshole I'd only suspected he was previously.

Perhaps he was a lawyer? :rolleyes:

How'd you guess? :biggrin:

Katie M. Loeb
Booze Muse, Spiritual Advisor

Author: Shake, Stir, Pour:Fresh Homegrown Cocktails

Cheers!
Bartendrix,Intoxicologist, Beverage Consultant, Philadelphia, PA
Captain Liberty of the Good Varietals, Aphrodite of Alcohol

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The kicker for me was having my ex-husband suggest that he sue them for "disruption of marital consortium" due to my injured mouth. :blink:  That pretty much cinched it for me that he really was the selfish asshole I'd only suspected he was previously.

Perhaps he was a lawyer? :rolleyes:

How'd you guess? :biggrin:

Maybe your very intricately detailed description "selfish asshole" gave it away? :hmmm:

Then there is the "suspected" part ... how was he able to maintain the veneer of civility long enough to marry you? ooops, definitely off topic now ... sorry ... :unsure:

Edited by Gifted Gourmet (log)

Melissa Goodman aka "Gifted Gourmet"

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I cut my tongue on a piece of glass I found in my Campbell's soup.  I sent the offending shard of glass and the empty can to their headquarters.  They sent me back coupons for MORE soup!!!  :wacko:

Yes! Why on earth do they think that you will ever, EVER want their product again?

Same thing happened when I was a kid; fortunately in our case the foreign object was comparatively benign - a large lump of powdered red pepper lurking in a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup. Not something one expects to find - but on the other hand not gross enough to prevent one enjoying - and taking full advantage of - the "reward." As I remember, they didn't bother with coupons; a case of the actual CofM soup was delivered to our door. Useful stuff, and we never found pepper in another can.

For a very funny take on making this happen, try to see the play alternately called Nourish the Beast or Baba Goya, by Steve Tesich.  In which they say,

- We could really use a new car.

- Okay, get out the typewriter: Dear Mr. Ford . . .

My mother was kind of a legend at this sort of thing, the Campbell's Soup caper being only the least of her achievements. There was the can of cat food which contained no foreign objects, indeed no objects whatever, having been sealed without ever being filled; ironically it ended up feeding the felines of the household for many weeks. Don't remember the details of the others, but there was one infuriating correspondence (with Macy's? I think) which culminated in her taking a form which they had impersonally cautioned her "not to fold, spindle or mutilate," folding it repeatedly, stabbing it viciously with a skewer, and running it several times through the sewing machine. It worked - at any rate, it got a response from an actual human being, for the first time in the whole series of transactions. (And I'm sure it ultimately netted her some sort of valuable compensation for whatever injury she was protesting - nothing more precious, however, than the sense of victory over the system.)

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Cut to February 2001. I went to Malta from London for a long weekend for my mother’s birthday. Was welcomed back into the bosom of my family with much gladness (in my family, this means a large gin and a handful of peanuts all round). After three days of solidly meat-based meals Mum finally heeded my pathetic pleadings for green vegetables. Fresh local broccoli - lovely. We sit down to supper - me, my parents, my brother and my brother’s girlfriend, Sharon. Sharon is the first to see it. “Oh my god, what is this, is it a worm?” And sure enough, yes it is, hiding along a length of floret, a little green worm about an inch long. Fortunately steamed to death. We shriek with laughter, throw it away and carry on. Until, seconds later - and note instantaneous, totally back-of-the-brain reversion to seven-year-oldness - I injudiciously turn over another bit of broccoli. Cue scream. “MuuuuuuUUUUUUMMMMMM - mine’s BIGGER...” Much larger, much fatter, pale green caterpillar with visible eyes and feet. Also, mercifully, steamed to death. Well. Five stomachs heave in unison, supper is consigned to the bin, and it’s cheese on toast all round.

All together now? “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me...” Couldn’t wait to get back to London. And I’ve never complained about frozen vegetables since.

Fi

Fi Kirkpatrick

tofu fi fie pho fum

"Your avatar shoes look like Marge Simpson's hair." - therese

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but there was one infuriating correspondence (with Macy's? I think) which culminated in her taking a form which they had impersonally cautioned her "not to fold, spindle or mutilate," folding it repeatedly, stabbing it viciously with a skewer, and running it several times through the sewing machine.

Balmagowry... I am wiping my eyes as I lift myself painfully from the floor.

Shortly after I left FDA, we were living with my sister for a while and we were gardening on a really big scale through the hot Texas summer. Needless to say, copious quantities of cold beer were involved. We got a batch of budweiser that had gunk settled out in the bottom. With my FDA knowledge, I could decipher the code on the six-pack. I called Budweiser. (They have a big brewery here in Houston.) The quality control guy was very polite and responsive. A few minutes later, a lady called and asked if we would be available the next morning for someone to pick up the offending remainder of the six pack. Sure enough, about 7:00 the next morning this gentleman rang the doorbell. It turns out that he was a VP of something. He had a cold six pack in hand. We served him coffee and fresh baked rolls and he entertained us with lessons on cleaning glasses and pouring beer. We were very satisfied with the outcome. Little did we know...

About a week later, we are sitting on the back porch on a hot afternoon. Through the open garage door we hear the rumble and hiss of a big truck coming to a stop. This puzzled looking guy walks up and he is looking at some papers. He says he is supposed to make a delivery and is not real sure he has the right place. Outside at the curb is the biggest damned Budweiser beer truck I have ever seen. We are talking full bore 18 wheeler. After we assured him that he had the right address, he proceeded to wheel in somewhere around 50 cases of beer. Of course, all of the neighbors saw the truck and we were heckled about our prodigious beer drinking ever since.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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A sweet little inchworm on my salad.

This happened to a good friend of mine at, of all places, Esca.

The oddest two things that happened to me personally:

1) Cockroach on a burger from A&W when I was a kid. As I think back, that had to be intentional.

2) Large packing-box-sized staple in a Domino's pizza. I was older then, and able to complain. Along the lines of the Campbell soup story, they mailed me a coupon for a free pizza :wacko:

Jamie

See! Antony, that revels long o' nights,

Is notwithstanding up.

Julius Caesar, Act II, Scene ii

biowebsite

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