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Okay, what's the DUMBEST cookbook you've owned?


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Please give us a few examples of Texas Rangers dishes and the players credited with or blamed for them. Inquiring minds want to know.

Funny title for the Elvis cookbook.

Michael aka "Pan"

 

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And I don't  for the life of me understand why anyone would pay that much money for "Aquavit" It's a cookbook for heavens sake.

I think Aquavit is a steal at $35--with the volume of recipes, 4C printing, expensive paper, great layout & photography. With softcovers at about $20 and hardcovers from $25-$50, I think it's priced extremely fairly.

For instance, Slow Cooker Cooking, a skimpy volume with no photos for $25 that was absolutely not worth it, but far from the stupidest cookbook I own. The other 2 slow cooker books (came with the appliance as a gift) are pretty damn bad. This is one of them. (I'm the "reader from Westfield, NJ.") I thought it was extremely cute of them to call it the BIGGEST Book of Slow Cooker Recipes when about a third of the recipes are cooked on top of the stove and don't even give times for the slow cooker. They just put in a load of random recipes they had around so they could call it BIGGEST. I have a whole unused row of appliance books that came with gifted or hand-me-down appliances--about 5 pressure cooker books, a Vitamix cookbook, juicer stuff... Don't get me wrong; I appreciate the hand-me-down Vitamix & pressure cooker!

The worst one I've seen lately was at my parent's house. There was a copy of Good Housekeeping Pies in the room I slept in and I hadn't brought a book so I read it cover to cover. A number of recipes called for canned grapes.

Queen of Grilled Cheese

NJ, USA

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My roommate has one called "Dinner Doctor" by that lady who wrote "Cake Mix Doctor." It's pretty silly--canned tuna and pasta, etc., the "why would you need a recipe for that?" kind of recipes. She also has one called "Cooking For the Lord," which made me laugh the first time I saw it, but it actually has some really good recipes in it for grain dishes, and breads.

Noise is music. All else is food.

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I nominate Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. I have no idea where this thing came from. I have even less of a clue as to why I still have it and have moved it around with me for 20 years.

Hey I had that book too! Except wasn't it a guide to "being a man", not a cookbook? Knocked me off quiche for about 5 years.

I got a book as a gift once called Done Like Dinner - all of Dave "Tiger" Williams' favourite BBQ recipes. Tiger Williams was a famous brawler hockey player for the Leafs. The book was absolute crap.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. - Johnny Carson
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Ages and ages ago, someone gave me a boxed set of ethnic cooking paperbacks written by a woman (I recall Myra Waldo was her name) who had spent her career flying around to exotic locations, learning the cuisines, and rewriting the recipes to dumb them down into utterly unchallenging food to be served to Americans on the airlines.

The most priceless quote was that the fish sauce that is omnipresent in Thai cuisine is "distressingly fishy and garlicky" and thus she omitted it entirely from the book on Thai cooking.

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Tiger Williams was a famous brawler hockey player for the Leafs.

Oh. I would have thought he was the spawn of Tiger Woods and Venus (or Serena) Williams.

Dumbest cookbook I ever had (I disposed of it pretty quickly) I can't recall the name of, but it was essentially a guide for eating leftovers from Sunday dinner all week long. I guess it was supposed to appeal to the harried working mother/cook. You know, roast a turkey on Sunday, turkey burritos on Monday, turkey soup on Tuesday, turkey tetrachloride on Wednesday....and so on. I don't know about anybody else, but I generally haven't a clue what I feel like making for dinner on Thursday evening until sometime Thursday afternoon.

Somebody upthread slammed "White Trash Cooking". :angry: In my house, it's considered a classic.

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I got a book as a gift once called Done Like Dinner - all of Dave "Tiger" Williams' favourite BBQ recipes.  Tiger Williams was a famous brawler hockey player for the Leafs.

Tiger Williams was and forever will be a beloved Vancouver Canuck. He has the best toothless grin. So are all the recipes in his cookbook for mushy food?

(He was also a Leaf but not when I watched hockey and had hockey cards.)

Edited by Rhea_S (log)
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Tiger Williams was and forever will be a beloved Vancouver Canuck. He has the best toothless grin. So are all the recipes in his cookbook for mushy food?

(He was also a Leaf but not when I watched hockey and had hockey cards.)

You're right, Tiger was a Canuck after being a Leaf. His catchphrase, "Done like Dinner", was used in the context of how they would beat the opposing team, as in "they'll be done like dinner". He also invented the hot-dogging move after scoring a goal where he would ride his stick around the ice. Kids were imitating this move for years....

I recall the recipes were just a bunch of macho barbecue dishes, with made-up corny names like "Cross-check Chicken Wings".

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. - Johnny Carson
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The most priceless quote was that the fish sauce that is omnipresent in Thai cuisine is "distressingly fishy and garlicky" and thus she omitted it entirely from the book on Thai cooking.

Good God, what a dud! If that's how you feel, just don't cook or eat Thai food!

Michael aka "Pan"

 

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I had a hilarious old cookbook called "Cook In Your Coffee Pot." Yes... really. By a gent named Coffeehouse Jones. It was geared toward travellers, and all the "meals" could be perked in cooking bags in the pot. Oooook! Chipped beef on a shingle anyone? :blink: I have the Powter book that was mentioned, as well as some of those TV Show cookbooks like "The Brady Bunch Cookbook" and "The I Love Lucy Cookbook." I also have "The Twitty City Cookbook" by Conway Twitty's wife, and Letterman's Mom's cookbbok (no wonder the man had heart trouble!) I just love these crazy cookbooks with gawdawful recipes. :laugh:

Edited by Pickles (log)
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some of those  TV Show cookbooks like "The Brady Bunch Cookbook" and "The I Love Lucy Cookbook."  I also have "The Twitty City Cookbook" by Conway Twitty's wife, and Letterman's Mom's cookbbok (no wonder the man had heart trouble!)  I just love these crazy cookbooks with gawdawful recipes.    :laugh:

I have (The Andy Griffith Show) "Aunt Bees Mayberry Cookbook", which is actually pretty good!

http://www.entertainment-reviews.com/Aunt_...1558530983.html

SB (ohhhhhh Andy!)

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I have the Powter book that was mentioned, as well as some of those  TV Show cookbooks like "The Brady Bunch Cookbook" and "The I Love Lucy Cookbook."

The Brady Bunch cookbook! Does it have Alice's recipe for "Pork Chops and Apple Sauce"? :laugh:

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. - Johnny Carson
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Emeril's There's a Chef in My Soup. It's a cookbook aimed at kids. I will say it does have adorable illustrations. My daughter saw it at Borders and thought she and her brothers would have fun with it. Heck, I was just pleased she was asking me to buy her a cookbook. I didn't really look at it until we got home, and then I saw that many of the recipes include what he calls Baby Bam. :blink: We made a couple of things the kids wouldn't even eat, despite the fact they helped make them. The book now resides on the bookshelf no one sees to avoid well deserved guffaws from guests.

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Okay..I'll bite.  What's "Baby Bam"?  A kicked down version of his spice mix?  Most kids I know skeeve when they see anything green on their plates, much less seasonings in their food.  :unsure:

Sorry. That's exactly what it is. All the stuff in his regular mix, without the cayenne, which I think he listed as "optional." I like to think my kids are a bit more open than most of their peers in what they will eat, but they really didn't think Baby Bam was an improvement to mac-n-cheese, or anything else we tried. They didn't even like the things WITHOUT the Bam.

I didn't expect fabulous gourmet meals from this cookbook, but I did expect some average-tasting things the kids would have fun making. Not the case. Just a bunch of below average renditions of American kid-friendly dishes.

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I have the Powter book that was mentioned, as well as some of those TV Show cookbooks like "The Brady Bunch Cookbook" and "The I Love Lucy Cookbook." I also have "The Twitty City Cookbook" by Conway Twitty's wife, and Letterman's Mom's cookbbok (no wonder the man had heart trouble!) I just love these crazy cookbooks with gawdawful recipes. :laugh:

One actually GOOD TV Cookbook is the Sopranos Cookbook. Actually very good Italian-American recipes in there...

"Give me 8 hours, 3 people, wine, conversation and natural ingredients and I'll give you one of the best nights in your life. Outside of this forum - there would be no takers."- Wine_Dad, egullet.org

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I don't know if these 2 qualify as "dumb" because I like them so damn much. But, they are peculiar and on topic. One is The Gilligan's Island cookbook written by Maryann. Tons of coconut and lobster, coconut cream pie, banana and coconut pancakes, etc. recipies. Might make for a good theme party someday (yikes).

The other is the gem of my collection, A Treasury of Great Recipes by Vincent and Mary Price. A delight that I'm sure has been noted somewhere in the depths of the egullet forums.

Spoon!
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The book now resides on the bookshelf no one sees to avoid well deserved guffaws from guests.

Wow --I'm glad I checked in here! I've been researching a piece on Cookbooks for Kids and after looking at hundreds of recipes involving Bisquick grated cheese in a bag and nachos There's a Chef in My Soup was close to the top of my list of decent kids' cookbooks.

Sad to say, it still might be.

Note: I have never, ever seen Emeril, so I don't react when "Baby Bam" gets mentioned. Just looked like an OK spice mixture to me.

And dannyboy: That Vincent Price cookbook, I'm told, is first-rate. Vincent and Danny Kaye were true Hollywood gourmands and passionate home cooks. Gad, could you imagine a Nicole Kidman or Kevin Costner cookbook?

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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I have the Powter book that was mentioned, as well as some of those  TV Show cookbooks like "The Brady Bunch Cookbook" and "The I Love Lucy Cookbook."

The Brady Bunch cookbook! Does it have Alice's recipe for "Pork Chops and Apple Sauce"? :laugh:

Why yes it does...it's a bit more gourmet though, with the addition of lemon and vermouth. Page 189. :cool: I also have the Andy Griffith cookbook, and have made the banana bread (I think it was Gomer Pyle's Banana Bread :laugh: ) and it was good! No hint of gasoline.... :biggrin: And there IS a recipe in there for Aunt Bea's Kerosene Cucumbers!

Edited by Pickles (log)
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I don't know if these 2 qualify as "dumb" because I like them so damn much. But, they are peculiar and on topic. One is The Gilligan's Island cookbook written by Maryann. Tons of coconut and lobster, coconut cream pie, banana and coconut pancakes, etc. recipies. Might make for a good theme party someday (yikes).

Does she have a recipe for Tina Louise Humble Pie? :raz:

"Give me 8 hours, 3 people, wine, conversation and natural ingredients and I'll give you one of the best nights in your life. Outside of this forum - there would be no takers."- Wine_Dad, egullet.org

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The other is the gem of my collection, A Treasury of Great Recipes by Vincent and Mary Price. A delight that I'm sure has been noted somewhere in the depths of the egullet forums.

My Sister recently found a copy at a used book store. I was surprised to learn that Vincent Price and his wife were such food fans.

The book is very well done, and is also interesting as an indicator of the state of food and dining in this Country in the late 1960's. I might actually suggest the word "classy", or even "refined", as being the most descriptive.

It's still available new:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...product-details

SB

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I nominate "The Firehouse Cookbook". It's surprisingly dull and little more than a collection of "community-type" recipes. Pity the poor men & women of the fire department who have to eat this stuff.

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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