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Christmas Disasters


docsconz

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Right now I am extremely frustrated. I was supposed to have 4 dozen oysters delivered from Browne Trading Co. yesterday. They were shipped Priority Overnight via Fedex on Monday. Needless to say they weren't delivered yesterday nor have they yet been delivered today. The problem is we should have left this morning to go to relatives' for Christma Eve dinner where the aforementioned oysters are anticipated with much saliva coming from sides of mouths. Because Fedex didn't deliver, I won't be able to deliver.

On contacting Fedex, the shipment is out in a rental truck for delivery, but because it is a rental truck, they cannot get hold of the driver. This in a Priority Overnight delivery that is already a day late. I can't believe they don't have a way of contacting the driver. I own stock in Fedex, but if this is how they do business, it won't be for long.

And yes, I do realize that given the problems in the world today, this is a minor problem. Nevertheless, I am pissed :angry:

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

Slow Food Saratoga Region - Co-Founder

Twitter - @docsconz

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Hi,

We had this happen with luggage one time. It was out on a truck to be delivered and the driver could not be contacted.

I told the person that there were 4 of us and we were very unhappy, we had been drinking and we were only 4 minutes from the airport.

Suddenly they were able to contact the driver!!

Cakes

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The truck finally arrived at 2:45PM yesterday as we were finally getting into the car getting ready to leave without them. I took delivery and brought them to our Christmas Eve celebration. The oysters were marvellous.

I'm still pissed at Fedex because they caused me a lot of agita and time. If they can't deliver the product they shouldn't sell it.

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

Slow Food Saratoga Region - Co-Founder

Twitter - @docsconz

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Glad things worked out doc, my disaster was less well ending.

I spent four hours last night prepping and cooking my fresh duckie. It was cooked to ala Martha perfection. Crisp crunchy skin, slight taste of game to the fowl, but not overpowering.

After cooking, I removed the legs and meat from the carcass, and assembled in vacuum bags, for later eating.

This morning I awoke to find, the freshly cracked bottle of Absolut, nicely tucked away into the cabinet, as should be, and the duck, still sitting on the table, out of refregeration all night.

Tomorrow's trash. :hmmm:

woodburner

Edited by woodburner (log)
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Glad things worked out doc, my disaster was less well ending.

I spent four hours last night prepping and cooking my fresh duckie. It was cooked to ala Martha perfection. Crisp crunchy skin, slight taste of game to the fowl, but not overpowering.

After cooking, I removed the legs and meat from the carcass, and assembled in vacuum bags, for later eating.

This morning I awoke to find, the freshly cracked bottle of Absolut, nicely tucked away into the cabinet, as should be, and the duck, still sitting on the table, out of refregeration all night.

Tomorrow's trash. :hmmm:

woodburner

That is a bummer!

Another "disaster" we had was I put a gift we just received from friends under the tree just before we headed out the door to go on our little trip without checking what it was first. We had a sitter staying with the dog and cat while we were gone for the holiday. We returned to find the bag with the gift trashed. Our dog who has a penchant for that sort of thing had found it. I suspect that it was something to eat, but I don't know what.

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

Slow Food Saratoga Region - Co-Founder

Twitter - @docsconz

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My Mother-in-law was giving me "advice" during the preperation and cooking of Christmas dinner. I put the tenderloin roasts in the oven, set the timer (attached the timer to my blouse - so I would not forget) and walked to the bar for a much needed drink. With a minute to spare on the timer I walk into the kitchen to find my Brother-in-law on his hands a knees cleaning the kitchen floor and the roasts on the counter. Apparently my Mother-in-law thought they were done and wanted to take them out of the oven and dropped them (all three) on the floor. We rinsed them off and servered them with a nice horseradish sauce.

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Mothers-in law! :wacko: We went over to my inlaws for Christmas morning as we do every year. The MiL always makes what she calls 'breakfast eggs,' a kind of egg and sausage casserole. She is notorious for being late and for not having food out on time. We were supposed to eat around 10:30am, and we didn't arrive until about then. When we did the distinct (d'stink!) odor of burnt food filled the air! She whined that the eggs had burned and she didn't know why, but they were only burnt on the bottom so if we wanted to eat them we could. We were so hungry that we did dive into the burnt eggs only to find them only partially cooked in the middle and indeed crispy and black on the bottom, with the flavor that only burnt food can provide. On further inspection I noticed that her oven was not on 'bake' but rather 'CLEAN!' She had cookded the eggs on the clean cycle!

This is not the first time something like this has happened. One time she was complaining that the food (another kind of casserole) in the oven didn't seem to be getting done and the oven was on 350! Well, the oven was indeed on 350, but it was not the oven the food was in! She has dual ovens and the empty, lower oven was a nice toasty 350!

Bob R in OKC

Home Brewer, Beer & Food Lover!

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Aren't mother-in-laws great? :wacko::raz:

We opted for a low key holiday this year since my father-in-law recently passed away. My m-i-l decided that we should all go to her house, even though I had offered for all to come to mine (usually I do it cause I have the largest house). My husband comes from a large Italian family. My m-i-l said she would take care of the dinner, and I was suprised because that is quite an undertaking. I offered to make some things to supplement, but she was stubborn in insisting that she would take care of it. OK - or so I thought.

Not only is it a large Italian family, but there are several teenage boys in the mix. My son is one of them at 6'2" and still growing. He has cousins that rival him.

When we arrived at about noon she put out a plate of cheese and crackers. Two of the boys polished them off in about 2 minutes flat.

When my sister-in-law and I asked about helping with dinner, she replied that it wasn't too much and that she could handle it. We started to worry. We went into the kitchen to find her putting a tray of homemade manicotti in the oven. Tray consisted of about 20 pieces, each roughly the size of a bank deposit slip. That would be alright if there were 10 or so people, but there were 16 of us.

When I commented that there might not be enough, she emptied a bag of salad into a bowl and unwrapped a loaf of italian bread. "Voila - that should fill you all up!"

The teenage boys (and even other kids and adults) thought that the manicotti was the appetizer. It took some time before they realized that it was all they were getting.

My m-i-l was perfectly content with eating 1 piece and having a small salad. Seems as though that was the way she cooked for my f-i-l for the past few years. It's been quite some time since she last entertained, and she had clearly not anticipated the needs of growing boys.

Our family and one of my husband's sisters' left about 6:00 and headed for a neighborhood place that was still open. None of us had the heart to let Mom know that there was not enough food. She was happy that we were all there with her, and I guess that's all that mattered.

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My Mother-in-law was giving me "advice" during the preperation and cooking of Christmas dinner. I put the tenderloin roasts in the oven, set the timer (attached the timer to my blouse - so I would not forget) and walked to the bar for a much needed drink. With a minute to spare on the timer I walk into the kitchen to find my Brother-in-law on his hands a knees cleaning the kitchen floor and the roasts on the counter. Apparently my Mother-in-law thought they were done and wanted to take them out of the oven and dropped them (all three) on the floor. We rinsed them off and servered them with a nice horseradish sauce.

This is why we never EVER let people in our kitchens.

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[Another "disaster" we had was I put a gift we just received from friends under the tree just before we headed out the door to go on our little trip without checking what it was first. We had a sitter staying with the dog and cat while we were gone for the holiday. We returned to find the bag with the gift trashed. Our dog who has a penchant for that sort of thing had found it. I suspect that it was something to eat, but I don't know what. ]

Dogs! I can't tell you how many times my parents' dogs have done something like this. One year, my mother had purchased some very fancy chocolates, Venus nipples, one for each of us. She put them on a nice plate, on the coffee table, and maybe 2 got eaten. Some time later, I heard my mom say, "Who ate all the chocolates?!" I looked around...and saw wrappers all over the dogs' bed. We were treated to the worst dog farts in all of history that day...

But this year took the cake. As per instructions, I brought two free range, hormone and antibiotic free, tender, young, and extremely expensive geese for Christmas dinner. We enjoyed one and a small part of the other, then they were wrapped and put on the screened porch (the winter refrigerator) for the night. Do I need to tell you what happened? The next morning, one was on the floor of the porch, only slightly gnawed, but the other one, the one that had all the meat left on it, was discovered out in the yard, next to two piles of dog puke!

You'd think we'd learn by now...

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[Another "disaster" we had was I put a gift we just received from friends under the tree just before we headed out the door to go on our little trip without checking what it was first. We had a sitter staying with the dog and cat while we were gone for the holiday. We returned to find the bag with the gift trashed. Our dog who has a penchant for that sort of thing had found it. I suspect that it was something to eat, but I don't know what. ]

Dogs! I can't tell you how many times my parents' dogs have done something like this. One year, my mother had purchased some very fancy chocolates, Venus nipples, one for each of us. She put them on a nice plate, on the coffee table, and maybe 2 got eaten. Some time later, I heard my mom say, "Who ate all the chocolates?!" I looked around...and saw wrappers all over the dogs' bed. We were treated to the worst dog farts in all of history that day...

But this year took the cake. As per instructions, I brought two free range, hormone and antibiotic free, tender, young, and extremely expensive geese for Christmas dinner. We enjoyed one and a small part of the other, then they were wrapped and put on the screened porch (the winter refrigerator) for the night. Do I need to tell you what happened? The next morning, one was on the floor of the porch, only slightly gnawed, but the other one, the one that had all the meat left on it, was discovered out in the yard, next to two piles of dog puke!

You'd think we'd learn by now...

I lost the leftover carcass of a 32 pound turkey one year, to a raccoon (or a raccoon-sized animal), I presume. We left it on top of the refrigerator, which overhung into the garage. The next morning, we found it on the floor about 8 feet below, seriously eaten. Some animal must have come in through the cat door, taken a flying leap to get at it, as it was a good 6-1/2 feet from the steps. It couldn't have been the cat, she was inside.

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The first time that I hosted Christmas for my in-laws nearly ended in disaster. I was twenty-one (newly living with their son) and a novice to such events. Must explain that MIL is very particular, big on cleanliness, urban, lady-who-lunches type. The cost of the Grade A turkey and other ingredients was sizeable for our meager earnings. The night before their arrival, lacking a large enough freezer, the turkey was placed on the back step (-20C) and would be taken in to defrost the next day. At about 3 am, requiring a glass of water, I casually looked out the window to see a huge black dog gnawing and pawing at something in our yard. :shock: OMG, it was the expensive entree being mucked about by the neighbors' Newfie! I quickly put on clothing and boots (deep snow) and ran out to shoo away the culprit and save the bird. I was mortified to find the wraper chewed off, the breast skin missing and a wing gone (little bugger must have been at it for quite awhile). Due to the huge investment, I decided I must defrost, roast and serve. The in-laws couldn't understand why the Grade A bird was so mangled, I scape-goated the grocer (shame). I figured the roasting temp would kill any beastly dog germs and so should be safe. I have never shared this story before and would be distressed if my MIL discovered the secret.

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Due to the huge investment, I decided I must defrost, roast and serve. The in-laws couldn't understand why the Grade A bird was so mangled, I scape-goated the grocer (shame). I figured the roasting temp would kill any beastly dog germs and so should be safe. I have never shared this story before and would be distressed if my MIL discovered the secret.

You can't be serious. :angry:

woodburner

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