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Entries: Round Fourteen


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Immune to tannins?

Woodpeckers put acorns by


The garden welcomes

Prized acorny detritus

Oaks trying to grow

No less welcome are

Spiky Engleman oak leaves

Ill-advised bare feet

Not just woodpeckers

Also Mexican Scrub Jays

Give acorns a go

Mean to gather

And on ancient sites I too

Will give it a go


Writer, cook, & c. ● #TacoFriday observant ●  Twitter    Instagram


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I have never, ever written haiku. This is my very first (and egotistical) attempt:

North Cackalacky

Where porcine products are king

Don’t get no better

Pig brining in tub

Scaring small children away

The man is obsessed

Invite many guests

One hundred twenty or more

eGullet Strangers???? Friends!

What? ‘Tis hush puppies?

Al says “Fry me up some more!”

Corn fritters please him.

Smoldering pecan

Pig fat dripping on embers

Making perfection

Varmint's Pig Pickin'

Autumn, Two Thousand and Three

Will he repeat it?

A new religion

Was created here today

Barbecue is God

Dean McCord


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One, two perfect pears

brilliant summer memory

blue sky, sweet juice, joy

Gotta love haiku, low barrier to entry. (thus, here I am)

I especially like guajolote's. A toast to most excellent poetry!

What's wrong with peanut butter and mustard? What else is a guy supposed to do when we are out of jelly?


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Can I do another one? I don't know if I have the prose rules right for Haiku, but here's another shot: also edited

New menu each night

Think of Friday night's special

Closing fridge with butt

Marinate and dice

Table one getting restless

No capers for him

Pots are tossed in sink

I could hide in a walk in

"And that is The Dish"

Chop green cilantro

That's fine I'll eat the couscous

Dr. Atkin's sucks

Should I see if I

Can cook for minimum wage

And not do dishes?


Edited by Janedujour (log)


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Varmint's Pig Pickin'

Ask, can it be done again?

Yes, autumn oh four.

Of course he says "no"

eGulls Unite! Pressure Dean!

More eGulls, more PIG!

At Pig Pickin" II

Three hundred eGulls, live bands,

Bathroom attendants.

A porcine Woodstock

Complete with sex, pork, and rock

Mustard Sauce? Bad trip.

Pig Feast number two?

Can't take "no" for an answer.

It must, it will be.

Edited by Al_Dente (log)

peak performance is predicated on proper pan preparation...

-- A.B.

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Happy Thanksgiving Haikus from the Southland.

Glad we found Poche's

It was getting kind of tense

Rachel was doubtful

Many people think

Alligator tastes like fowl

Wrong. Not like Chicken

Going to eat now

The big dry bird is ready

Glad there is dressing

Brooks Hamaker, aka "Mayhaw Man"

There's a train everyday, leaving either way...

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Everyone knows the

best way to cook a turkey.

Brining and smoking.

But wait. Trussing and

rotisserie for some folks

seems to work just fine.

Cajun injectors,

basting and marinating.

Decisions are hard.

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Oil dough, butter dough --

Roll out neatly/pat in place;

Everyone loves Pie.

Mince, pumpkin, custard?

Fruit, eggs, spices rock my world --

Warm, serene kitchen!

Nine-inch moons, lined up

In butler's pantry: Pray that

Kids don't see 'em first!

Little girl grabs knife:

Won't let Mama kibitz -- NO!

Cuts her own piece. See?

Guests coo/hostess purrs.

No adults here, just children

Of varying size.


Mince pie with pour cream

and hot coffee, just perfect

Breakfast on Friday.


Me, I vote for the joyride every time.

-- 2/19/2004

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I spatchcock, spatchcock,

spatchcock, spatchcock, spatchcock, and

spatchcock even more.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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scarred burned and calloused

those hands have cooked for sovereigns

wisdom leaves its mark

tugged from the garden

chef's hands transform the bounty


caramelized shrapnel

flawless loins served at table

chef holds best bits back

andouille and rice

onion garlic tasso thyme

jambalaya lives

arrives in darkness

chef wrestles with blade and flame

daylight fades again

solitary life

uncouth guests gobble, clueless

ignored hero, chef

Wait! Aroma calls

bacon sizzling in the pan

is that all you made?

kitchen window gone

former sky is now a house

I hate my neighbors


"Hey, hey, careful man! There's a beverage here!" --The Dude, The Big Lebowski

LTHForum.com -- The definitive Chicago-based culinary chat site

ronnie_suburban 'at' yahoo.com

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Eat all that turkey

Get that stuffing while it's hot

Damn, my tummy hurts!

California dates

Eat those sweet things every day

Tasty and healthful.

Eel fried up with leeks

Juicy buns, spicy cabbage, tripe

Tasty Shanghai food.

Michael aka "Pan"


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I know about larb

Spatchcock, Wine Clip, toaster bags

Thanks to eGullet

Aged steak medium rare

Same way for a hundred years

Peter Luger rules

P.S. -- medium is two syllables



See! Antony, that revels long o' nights,

Is notwithstanding up.

Julius Caesar, Act II, Scene ii


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Leftover Turkey

My Toast-N-Serve Magic Bags

My lunch is complete

Need to take pictures

Just like Rachel and Jason

Sandwiches look great

Bags will be a hit!

Have Sandwiches every day!

Gain weight - clothes don't fit!

Put bags in closet

But I hear them call my name

Damn you Magic Bags!

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