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What is the most embarrassing


torakris

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As I was preparing bagels for my kid's breakfast by spreading them with one of those big tubs of psuedo-butter, I was thinking that if an egulleteer ever made it to my house, that tub would sure to be at the bottom of the trash. :unsure:

We know that Soba hides his Mrs. Dash when friends come over..............

So what is the most embarrassing thing in your kitchen?

Kristin Wagner, aka "torakris"

 

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Garlic powder. My Chinese mother made us a number of "American" dishes, and one of them was steak. She never could stand steak with just salt and pepper, though, so started putting garlic powder on them as well. To this day, I season my steak with garlic powder as well, so I keep a jar in the cupboard--even though I use fresh garlic for everything else.

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An apron with a picture of The Three Stooges on it. Trust me, I did not buy it myself.

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"...in the mid-’90s when the internet was coming...there was a tendency to assume that when all the world’s knowledge comes online, everyone will flock to it. It turns out that if you give everyone access to the Library of Congress, what they do is watch videos on TikTok."  -Neil Stephenson, author, in The Atlantic

 

"In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual." -Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer

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An institutional sized container of ground pepper. :shock:

Store-bought salad dressing :wacko:

"Some people see a sheet of seaweed and want to be wrapped in it. I want to see it around a piece of fish."-- William Grimes

"People are bastard-coated bastards, with bastard filling." - Dr. Cox on Scrubs

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Gosh, my kitchen is not very egulletarian these days. My pantry is shameful. However, the most embarrasing thing.....if I have to pick one.....is probably the....

Well. I really can't pick just one.

To the casual observer, my refrigerator would appear to belong to someone with multiple personalities. There's a bottle of I Can't Believe it's Not Butter Spray next to a box of Plugra, a half empty carton of heavy cream and a carton of Fat Free Land o Lakes Half & Half, and there's a piece nice roll of homemade chocolate chip cookie dough next to some Little Debbie Nutty Bars.

Is this some sort of desperate cry for help? Don't get me started on the pantry.

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I have all kinds of crap in my kitchen, and I am proud of the fact that when I use it, no one can discern what crap went into their fabulous meal. So there! :laugh:

Purity à la Jinmyo is a wonderful thing, something to which we should all aspire. I wish I could actually reach it.

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Let's see, store bought anything seems to be a no-no, but I haven't mastered jellies or peanut butter or pasta sauce...so sue me. Also we have white bread, frozen meals, and usually hamburger/chicken helper or some sort of old el paso taco or nacho kit or whatever.

Let's not forget the soda and Bud. Oh wait, we're out of those. But usually...

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Two cases of pork-flavored Mama brand ramen noodles.

And, that box of cereal that Peter gets to choose every week or two. Last time it was some horrible "Hulk" stuff. He cautions everyone in the house that this is "my cereal," not realizing that none of the rest of us would dare eat that crap.

Does stuff that should have been pitched three years ago count?

Susan Fahning aka "snowangel"
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Most embarrassing thing would have to be my kitchen itself. I live in a microscopic studio apartment with a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. I only cook at other people's place unless I can grill up on my roof-- views over the potomac... monuments in the distance. I have a $0.39 apartment with a million dollar view.

peak performance is predicated on proper pan preparation...

-- A.B.

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Mine is everywhere.

The remaining splotches of Trader Joe's Basil Salad Dressing that exploded in my not-big kitchen and reached every surface. I've cleaned all within reach, but (as my grandmother would say), "Doo law!"

The ceiling is high, and the bottle blew up and hit everything. At least six feet up and around. I came in the house and thought a skunk had killed one of our kitties. Alas, it was not to be, despite that the vet bill would be cheaper than stripping and restaining the woodwork.

Otherwise, we live in the country and the spiders generously donate their skills in the most unlikely places. Also (the really worst): bad linoleum and countertops and so on from our landlugs. The oven has a cracked door: how do so many things come out so well?

No one who comes to dinner seems to mind, for which I am grateful. I also don't highlight the spiders for the arachniphobes. (Have I spelled that right? I hope.)

I think it's probably embarrassing how many jars of fancy condiments I have. Who knows whyl Apparently three jars of horseradish cream are just enough for a woman who doesn't use horseradish more than once a year.

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The remaining splotches of Trader Joe's Basil Salad Dressing that exploded in my not-big kitchen and reached every surface. I've cleaned all within reach, but (as my grandmother would say), "Doo law!"

The ceiling is high, and the bottle blew up and hit everything. At least six feet up and around. I came in the house and thought a skunk had killed one of our kitties. Alas, it was not to be, despite that the vet bill would be cheaper than stripping and restaining the woodwork.

After hearing all about Trader Joe's (from eG and from friends who just returned from CA), I was planning to make it one of my destinations the next time I'm in Chicago. Now, I'm scared.

How does a bottle of salad dressing blow up?

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."  -George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Act 1

 

"Imagine all the food you have eaten in your life and consider that you are simply some of that food, rearranged."  -Max Tegmark, physicist

 

Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"...in the mid-’90s when the internet was coming...there was a tendency to assume that when all the world’s knowledge comes online, everyone will flock to it. It turns out that if you give everyone access to the Library of Congress, what they do is watch videos on TikTok."  -Neil Stephenson, author, in The Atlantic

 

"In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual." -Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer

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Most likely the most embarrassing thing is that I'm not sophisticated enough to be embarrassed by anything in my kitchen. I mean, every condiment and foodstuff has it's purpose doesn't it? Well, that's what I tell my husband when he looks in the fridge and can only find condiments :wink:

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A box of Velveeta. :shock:

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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