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Worst coffee in the world


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Motel coffee. Those old , old packets that have been bought in cases of 200,000 , one of which is put in your room in the alcove area next to the sink. You rip the silvery packet open in the morning, brew it in the muchkin machine and then drink it with powdered white stuff in styrofoam, stirring with your finger because you can't find the stirstick.

"Coffee Host plugs into the bathroom wall, Formica's really keen"

Immortalized by Frank Zappa in the Mothers song What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?

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Worst coffee ever is at work, "Community" coffee that has been ground God knows how long ago and is sitting in little packets. I think i can get better results toasting and brewing sawdust.

FM

At the office where I used to work, we had those packets. You'd open them and the stuff didn't even smell remotely coffee-like -- I doubt it had been roasted within the last decade. We protested and got a professional grinder and decent (if not great) beans, and morale improved considerably.

But the worst coffee ever was the stuff my college roommate used to make. She almost always got up earlier than I did, so she almost always made the coffee. First, the coffee was something in a can -- Maxwell House, Folgers, or more likely, the local supermarket's own brand. Second, she was exceptionally cheap, so she'd use about a heaping teaspoon of coffee per cup (she once asked me if you could re-use coffee grounds). The "coffee" was about the color of moderately strong tea when it started. Then, she'd make a whole pot and leave it on the burner all day, so it turned darker and more and more evil smelling as the day wore on. If there was any left over, she'd save it and reheat it the next day. Even the coffee at the Student Union Building was an improvement over her coffee, if you can believe that.

It's been more than 20 years, and I still have nightmares about that coffee.

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The worse coffee I have ever had was in a restaurant chain called "Silver Spurs" in New York City.  It is a chain of diners meant to emulate the fifties and their coffee is terrible.  I am a true coffee junkie and whenever we go back, I am tempted to try again.  I am always sorry I did.

Yes, I stopped in there for a coffee once, it was truly memorably awful.

Worst cup of coffee I ever had was in some hotel (can't remember the name of it) in London quite a few years ago. The funny thing was, it also served one of the best cups of coffee I've ever had. Very fresh, steaming hot, in a French press, it was truly delicious. So I asked for another cup, which was clearly a mistake, since some idiot in the kitchen assumed a second cup meant pouring hot water over the already used coffee grounds in the French press. I took a sip and spit it back into the cup and left. :sad:

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Any coffee served within eye sight of Interstate 5 south of Seattle. Noteworthy nominees, Holiday Inn Express breakfast bars (especially in Medford Oregon), MacDonald's, Denny's and the espresso served at any gas station.

Another genre still hanging on in Vancouver is flavoured coffees. Um Irish Mint...........................

David Cooper

"I'm no friggin genius". Rob Dibble

http://www.starlinebyirion.com/

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But the worst coffee ever was the stuff my college roommate used to make. She almost always got up earlier than I did, so she almost always made the coffee.

Man, I make good-ass coffee. My roommate has started to discriminate against other people's coffee. :wink:

But I've had roommates who take the leftover, dairyed and sugared coffee from their Dunkin Donuts go-cups, dump it in the coffee pot, and heat it back up again.

Noise is music. All else is food.

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Starbucks may be annoying, but Seattle's worst coffee is Seattle's Best Coffee.    It is barely a step up from Folgers.  What a misleading name. :hmmm:

I agree but also feel that "Tullys", is as bad as "SBC", neither is the worst coffee, but are overpriced, uneven, with no consistancy in blends. It bewilders me how they've managed to become accepted, since they make abomidable expresso mixes with their roasts.

I don't say that I do. But don't let it get around that I don't.

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Maybe I'm just really picky about the coffee I'll drink (but who isn't?), but I don't like Starbucks, Tilly's, SB, Deitrich's (well, they're ok), or any of those places. The coffee is always too strong, too bitter, and tastes like it's been sitting there all day long, even when they brew it fresh.

But this reminded me, I heard a rumor from the guy who delivers our coffee at work. He said that he heard that Starbucks is coming out with a new roast for regular coffee, and that it will be a much lighter roast than what they serve right now. The stuff they serve now is over-roasted on purpose, because most of what they sell is espresso-type drinks, not regular coffee. Maybe the new stuff will actually be drinkable.

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I know this is a little of topic, but why on earth would anyone want to put a nut "extract" in their coffee. ESPECIALLY Almond extract, this stuff makes any coffee taste really vile and alcohol-like.

FM

E. Nassar
Houston, TX

My Blog
contact: enassar(AT)gmail(DOT)com

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Went to my local coffeeshop once, and ordered a cup of peppermint tea. They screwed up somewhat, and rather than fetching a peppermint tea bag and pouring hot water into the cup with it, they poured COFFEE into the cup with it. I didn't notice anything was amiss until I tried it.

So, while I didn't actually order coffee as such, I'd say that counts as the worst I tasted....

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  • 2 months later...

I lived with someone briefly who drank instant coffee with coffee-mate. Not even the name brand. Whatever was on sale. And weak. The relationship didn't last, not because of the coffee. but by the end of our relationship she was drinking fresh ground with half and half.

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It's just so hard to choose, there are so many ways to make coffee really badly.

My mother used to buy black-roasted Yuban and brew it so it looked like coffee but tasted like lukewarm dishwater. My father always went out to buy the coffee he drank.

Any convenience store you stop at in the middle of the night on a cross-country trip is probably in the running for worst coffee of all time. Sitting on the burner for hours until it has no flavor but carbon...mmm.

I once ordered a cup of coffee at a takeout, and the girl brewed me a fresh pot. As soon as 8 ounces came through, she poured it into a cup and gave it to me. 90% of the flavor of a 48 ounce pot in one cup. Yikes!

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Any coffee served within eye sight of Interstate 5 south of Seattle. Noteworthy nominees, Holiday Inn Express breakfast bars (especially in Medford Oregon)

i'd like to expand this nomination to include any holiday inn continental breakfast, anywhere in the united states.

matter of fact - i detest the notion of free continental breakfasts.

i'm so glad i currently don't have to travel for business.

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Hmmm, where to begin, where to begin...

General Foods Int'l Coffees... had a relative that knew I was a coffee nut, and said "here, you'll love this..." as if she were serving me Illy fresh-ground espresso. What the hey...

Green Mountain French Roast, I have to agree, is a doozie. Well, french roast is ALWAYS a few shades too dark for regular drip coffee...

I think the worst I ever had was in a TGIFriday's though. I was really caffeine-jonesing, and ordered it with my meal, and it did have that all-day-on-the-burner taste to it. But really any restaurant coffee (aside from diners, where there's high coffee turnover) will have the coffee pot that's been sitting forever...

"Give me 8 hours, 3 people, wine, conversation and natural ingredients and I'll give you one of the best nights in your life. Outside of this forum - there would be no takers."- Wine_Dad, egullet.org

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Man, I make good-ass coffee. My roommate has started to discriminate against other people's coffee. :wink:

But I've had roommates who take the leftover, dairyed and sugared coffee from their Dunkin Donuts go-cups, dump it in the coffee pot, and heat it back up again.

LOL, I've served people simple basic coffees (Maxwell House, Eight O'Clock) and have them go "man this is great coffee!"

My only secret is use 1 1/2X the amount of grounds specified on the can ("midwestern coffee", I call that strength!) Like Alton Brown says, most folks say they hate strong coffee, but they really hate bitter coffee. And brewing with less means more bitterness, less body.

"Give me 8 hours, 3 people, wine, conversation and natural ingredients and I'll give you one of the best nights in your life. Outside of this forum - there would be no takers."- Wine_Dad, egullet.org

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Gas station coffee.

Had the worst coffee of my life a few weeks ago on a hunting trip in Iowa. 6am in the morning, heading to the reserve we find an open gas station/convenience store. At that point all I wanted was a warm medium to deliver caffeine to my central nervous system. I figured with low expectations, I would not be disappointed.....WRONG. I could not even finish my first gulp, the coffee tasted like it was brewed the night before using dirty gym socks for a filter.

Surprisingly that same gas station/convenience store made very good fried cheese curds, which was our breakfast most mornings.

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I could not even finish my first gulp, the coffee tasted like it was brewed the night before using dirty gym socks for a filter.

How do you know it wasn't? :raz:

Yet they made god fried cheese curds. Go figure. On second thought.... don't. I never thought of cheese as something that could benefit from frying (mozarella sticks being a prime example) but then I was at an international foods store (International Food Warehouse in Lodi NJ) and they were going out samples in the cheese department. The cheese in question is from Cyprus and served as a breakfast food. They just throw it on a skillet and fry until it gets a bit lacey in texture. Incredibly delicious.

This store also served god-awful capuccino in their little cafe but I digress (frequently).

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When we were driving across the country a few years ago, at 4am in Iowa somewhere on I-80, we stopped at a budget motel lobby for some caffeine and ended up with a cup of thick, burned, rancid sludge. Even with a half-dozen sugar packets and a few tablespoons of nondairy creamer (which probably didn't help) it was the worst beverage ever encountered, better only than the alternative - falling asleep at the wheel and ending up in a ditch.

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To all those bashing Starbuck's Coffee - there can only be one reason: Caribou Coffee has not yet come to your state. Currently only available in nine states, this swill has been adopted by Delta Airlines. You can now enjoy this grimace inducing turpentine like substance nationwide at 35,000 feet. As far as mass produced chain coffee goes, give mr Barnie's any day

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Gas station coffee.

Had the worst coffee of my life a few weeks ago on a hunting trip in Iowa. 6am in the morning, heading to the reserve we find an open gas station/convenience store. At that point all I wanted was a warm medium to deliver caffeine to my central nervous system. I figured with low expectations, I would not be disappointed.....WRONG. I could not even finish my first gulp, the coffee tasted like it was brewed the night before using dirty gym socks for a filter.

Surprisingly that same gas station/convenience store made very good fried cheese curds, which was our breakfast most mornings.

Actually, I've had decent coffee at gas stations. Sunoco in particular seems to go through it very quickly and makes fresh batches every hour, I think.

Jason Perlow

Co-Founder, The Society for Culinary Arts & Letters

offthebroiler.com - Food Blog | View my food photos on Instagram

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Motel coffee. Those old , old packets that have been bought in cases of 200,000 , one of which is put in your room in the alcove area next to the sink. You rip the silvery packet open in the morning, brew it in the muchkin machine and then drink it with powdered white stuff in styrofoam, stirring with your finger because you can't find the stirstick.

Barely warm, barely brewed...sipped dejectedly while sitting on the underside of a neon orange and pink bedspread , watching the local news on TV, which is being drowned out by the ancient AC unit whose controls have been so overused that they don't really function anymore.

sounds like a trip I had to take to T.O. last June.

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Family Affair Restaurant - Taylor (near Scranton), PA.

Each visit home, my parents and I generally go out for breakfast once. If it's to "Family", we always remember how bad the coffee is after we sit down and order breakfast (which is otherwise decent). The restaurant is owned by long-time family friends and for years, we've tried to think of a nice way to communicate that the coffee (both reg and decaf) is so weak that you could probably read your newspaper through it if you put the coffee in a glass. :wacko:

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