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Bacon Aphorisms


Fat Guy
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Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make bacon.

~ Gandhi

=Mark

Give a man a fish, he eats for a Day.

Teach a man to fish, he eats for Life.

Teach a man to sell fish, he eats Steak

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John Candy, who once stared in a film called "Canadian Bacon" was in "JFK" with... Kevin Bacon.

Alan Alda, also in "Canadian Bacon", was in "Sweet Liberty" with Lynne Thigpen, who was in "Novocaine" with Kevin Bacon.

John Candy also occasionally ate Bacon for Breakfast.

ad infinitum

Bacon makes the world go round.

Edited by jhlurie (log)

Jon Lurie, aka "jhlurie"

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Bacon is as bacon does.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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John Candy, who once stared in a film called "Canadian Bacon" was in "JFK" with... Kevin Bacon.

Alan Alda, also in "Canadian Bacon", was in "Sweet Liberty" with Lynne Thigpen, who was in "Novocaine" with Kevin Bacon.

John Candy also occasionally ate Bacon for Breakfast.

ad infinitum

Bacon makes the world go round.

I thought he WAS bacon.

I baked for Kevin Bacon.

Now, I'm bacon at the convent!

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I did not have sexual relations with that bacon, Miss Lewinsky...

Sorry, kinda dated...

Or how bout:

Good neighbors make good bacon...

Mighta got that backwards.

peak performance is predicated on proper pan preparation...

-- A.B.

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It was the best of bacon, it was the worst of bacon, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of bacon, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Bacon, it was the spring of bacon, it was the winter of despair....

well, you get the picture.

(with apologies to Dickens.)

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The real art of eating bacon is not only to eat the right slice at the right place but to leave uneaten the wrong slice at the tempting moment - Dorothy (pork belly) Nevill

They can take away our bacon...but they will never take...our Pancetta!!!! - William (bacon) Wallace

Bacon tends to corrupt, and maple flavored bacon corrupts absolutely. - Lord (do I smell bacon?) Acton

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no time ago

or else a life

sitting in the lard

i met bacon

not canadian)my heart

flopped over

and lay still

while it passed(as

close as i'm to you

yes closer

made of nothing

except pig

foshizzle.

e.e. cummings

Edited by jhlurie (log)

Jon Lurie, aka "jhlurie"

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Request/challenge - One of you artistic types (ie, not me) do Andrew Marvell.  Seems to fit.

The world in all doth but two bacons bear,—

The crisp, the limp; and these mixed everywhere.

--

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Pig, not bacon. But we loved this as kids. My mother had it on an 8-track. Nilsson, I think. Maybe Croce. 'Gunga Din' was included as well. It's a traditional folk song in public domain so safe, yes?

'Twas early last September

As near as I remember

While strolling down the lane in tipsy pride

Not a word did I utter

As I lay down in the gutter

And a pig came up and lay there by my side

Not a soul were we disturbing

As we lay there by the curbing

When this high-toned lady came,

I heard her say

You can tell a man who boozes

By the company he chooses

And the pig got up and slowly walked away.

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With apologies to Oliver Goldsmith:

When lovely bacon stoops to folly

And finds, too late, microwaves betray

What charm can soothe my melancholy?

What art can wash the taste away?

The only art my guilt to cover

To hide my shame from every eye

To mark me as a bacon-lover

And make me happy is -- to fry.

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