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Bacon Aphorisms


Fat Guy

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Well I said come on over baby

We got chicken in the barn

Come on over baby

We really got the bull by the horn

Yeah we ain't fakin'

Whole lot of bacon goin' on

I'm on the pavement

Thinking about the government.

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Do not ask for whom the bacon crisps. It crisps for thee.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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This one's for the Faulkner fans:

My mother is a bacon.

(Name that book!)

As I Lay Bacon

A man after my own bacon, I see!

I believe the Great Man himself was a porkophile, as evidenced by his titles:

The Ham and the Fury

If I Forget Thee, St. Louis Cut

Intruder in the Butts

Links in August

Go Down, Chitlins

Headcheese for a Nun

and of course:

Backbacon, Backbacon!

Dave Scantland
Executive director
dscantland@eGstaff.org
eG Ethics signatory

Eat more chicken skin.

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And the short stories:

An Odor of Pork Roast,

That Evening Pork Go Down

The Boar

etc

To give southern women writers their due, Flannery O'Connor and Carson McCullers both offer a wealth of piggy material in their titles. But enough.

Edited by fresco (log)
Arthur Johnson, aka "fresco"
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Okay, this was a stretch (a poem, not an aphorism after all), but perhaps someone could improve upon it:

I think that I shall never dig

A poem lovely as a pig.

An egulleter whose hungry mouth is prest

Against the bread's sweet flowing breast;

A giving hog that's destined to croak

And offers its ample haunches to smoke;

A swine that may in summer wear

A nest of lettuce and tomato fair

Upon whose bread mayo has spread;

Who doesn't care if it makes him dead.

Poems are made by fools like me

But only God can make a BLT.

peak performance is predicated on proper pan preparation...

-- A.B.

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This one's for the Faulkner fans:

My mother is a bacon.

(Name that book!)

As I Lay Bacon

A man after my own bacon, I see!

I believe the Great Man himself was a porkophile, as evidenced by his titles:

The Ham and the Fury

If I Forget Thee, St. Louis Cut

Intruder in the Butts

Links in August

Go Down, Chitlins

Headcheese for a Nun

and of course:

Backbacon, Backbacon!

And, of course, the Bacon Trilogy: The Bacon, The Rasher of Bacon, and The Pork Belly.

--

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This one's for the Faulkner fans:

My mother is a bacon.

(Name that book!)

As I Lay Bacon

A man after my own bacon, I see!

I believe the Great Man himself was a porkophile, as evidenced by his titles:

The Ham and the Fury

If I Forget Thee, St. Louis Cut

Intruder in the Butts

Links in August

Go Down, Chitlins

Headcheese for a Nun

and of course:

Backbacon, Backbacon!

And, of course, the Bacon Trilogy: The Bacon, The Rasher of Bacon, and The Pork Belly.

And let's not forget the screenplays!

The masterpieces, of course, are To Have and Have Not Bacon and The Bacon Sleep. (By the way, both movies starred the inimitable screen and real-life couple Bacon and Bacall.)

Is the rumor that he helped write the script for Bacon Along the Mohawk true?

Dave Scantland
Executive director
dscantland@eGstaff.org
eG Ethics signatory

Eat more chicken skin.

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And let us not forget that other great American author, who wrote such things as:

The Old Man and the Bacon

The Bacon Also Sizzles

A Farewell to Bacon (a sad, sad tale if ever there was one)

For Whom the Bacon Fries

The Bacon of Kilimanjaro (those Kilimanjarians sure know how to cure pork!)

The Green Bacon of Africa (it's fermented!)

--

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And let us not forget that other great American author, who wrote such things as:

The Old Man and the Bacon

The Bacon Also Sizzles

A Farewell to Bacon (a sad, sad tale if ever there was one)

For Whom the Bacon Fries

The Bacon of Kilimanjaro (those Kilimanjarians sure know how to cure pork!)

The Green Bacon of Africa (it's fermented!)

What about the Salinger classic, "The Bacon in the Rye"?

"All humans are out of their f*cking minds -- every single one of them."

-- Albert Ellis

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