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Bacon Aphorisms


Fat Guy

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  • 2 months later...

She was a straggler

A struggler

A straight coppa smuggler

Everytime I see the sow

She is gettin uglier.

First she smoked my speck

Then she kissed Little Ham

Why don't you smoke my Schinken

And we'll cut out the middle man.

EZE E :blink:

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The "bacon quote" currently on the eG front page:

The Pig, if I am not mistaken,

Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon.

Let others say his heart is big,

I think it stupid of the Pig.

Ogden Nash, 'The Pig'

Jon Lurie, aka "jhlurie"

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(to be sung to "Age of Aquarius")

When the bread is in the toaster...

And tomato aligns with lettuce

Then BACON will guide the planet

And mayo will tag along

This is the dawning of the age of the BLT

Age of the BLTEEEEEE

THE BLTEEEEEEE

THE B.L.T.

JANE

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a chef I worked for who was from Tennessee told me about a place in his hometown that fried burgers in 50 year old bacon grease and that when they moved locations they had a police escort for the grease because it was/is priceless...

I bet those are good....

"Make me some mignardises, &*%$@!" -Mateo

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a chef I worked for who was from Tennessee told me about a place in his hometown that fried burgers in 50 year old bacon grease and that when they moved locations they had a police escort for the grease because it was/is priceless...

I bet those are good....

My dad's buddy Bill swears by popcorn made with bacon grease.

Susan Fahning aka "snowangel"
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When I was one and twenty,

I heard a wise man say;

Give crowns and pounds and guineas

But not your bacon away.

Give pearls away, and rubies,

But keep your bacon near.

But I was one and twenty,

And gave it do my Dear.

When I was one and twenty

I heard him say again.

The bacon from the belly

Is never giv’n in vain.

’Tis paid with sighs a’plenty,

And sold for endless rue.

And here I sit with no BLT,

And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true.

[Apologies to A E Housman]

"My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne." John Maynard Keynes

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“Therefore, Bacon, you who give knowledge of the taste, give me as much flavor as you know to be fitting for me, because you are as we taste and that which we taste. And indeed we believe you are something greater than which cannot be tasted. Or is there no such kind of thing, for "the fool said in his heart, 'there is no food'" (Pork 13:1, 52:1)? But certainly that same fool, having heard what I just said, "something greater than which cannot be tasted," understands what he heard, and what he understands is in his thought, even if he does not think it exists. For it is one thing for something to exist in a person's thought and quite another for the person to think that thing exists. For when a chef thinks ahead to what he will cook, he has that platter in his thought, but he does not yet think it exists, because he has not done it yet. Once he has cooked it he has it in his thought and thinks it has flavor because he has done it. Thus even the fool is compelled to grant that something greater than which cannot be tasted exists in flavor, because he understands what he tastes, and whatever is tasted exists in flavor. And certainly that greater than which cannot be tasted cannot exist only in thought, for if it exists only in thought it could also be thought of as tasting better in reality as well, which is greater. If, therefore, that than which greater cannot be tasted exists in thought alone, then that than which greater cannot be tasted turns out to be that than which something greater actually can be tasted, but that is obviously impossible. Therefore something than which greater cannot be tasted undoubtedly exists both in thought and in reality, and its name is undoubtedly bacon.”

–St. Anselm’s line cook.

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Smokey slab bacon

in a hot cast iron pan:

snapping crisp fragrance

(Yet another bacon haiku)

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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FAMOUS PORKISMS

Bacon saved is bacon wasted - Benjamin Frankfurter

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of cooking bacon. - Alfred Lard Tennyson

FILMIC PORKISMS

We'll always have bacon - Casapuerco

I just want to say one word to you, just one word: 'bacon.' - The Gullet

Bacon, for lack of a better word, is good. Bacon is right. Bacon works. Bacon clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the culinary spirit. Bacon, in all of its forms. - Swine Street

The hills are alive, with the smell of bacon - The Sizzle of Bacon

My name is Inigo Montoya, you ate my bacon, prepare to die - The Porker Fried

I'm ready to tell you my secret....I smell bacon - The Sixth Swine

We're gonna need a bigger pan - Jowels

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Thanks for making me laugh!

(What an auspicious first post this is.)

"If Bacon did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it."

- Voltaire

What's wrong with peanut butter and mustard? What else is a guy supposed to do when we are out of jelly?

-Dad

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  • 2 weeks later...

Last time we visited my grandma, she gave us all of her spinach and green beans to take home with us. I asked her why, and she told me because her doctor told her she had to lower her salt intake. So she "couldn't eat bacon anymore."

Oh, Bacon

Well you came and you gave without taking

And I'll eat today

Bacon Manilow

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I bacon your pardon,

I never promised you a roast garden....

--and--

"I've eaten so much liver I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions" - Hawkeye Pierce

*edited to fix rather annoying typo.

Edited by FistFullaRoux (log)
Screw it. It's a Butterball.
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