Competition Round Seven: Captions, What Was She Th

[Fat Guy]

The exhibition opens July 4, 2003, at the American Museum of Natural History.

[Andy Lynes]

Of course presentation is paramount in my style of cuisine. After all, we eat first with our eyes, n'est pas?

[Andy Lynes]

Heston better be ready with that liquid nitrogen....

[Andy Lynes]

No one actually pays attention to expirey dates anymore do they?

[Varmint]

You did say you wanted that in a cup and not a cone, right?

[fresco]

I'll turn this mierda into foam and we'll call the place el bulli.

[beans]

"I'll get you my pretty!" she cackled.

[MHesse]

Living in ignomy long after the Imclone scandal had faded from the news pages, a beaten Ms. Stewart is still determined to make a comeback with her K-Mart Tuna Blue Plate Special.

--mh

[fresco]

Top of my class at CIA, a rising star at some of the finest kitchens in America, and I wind up cooking at the NHL's retirement home.

[Nick]

I wish my husband would get a job!

[maggiethecat]

I wish my husband would get a job!

Unseemly, I know, to comment in the official pre-decision phase...but (perhaps close to home?) ROTFLMAO.

Edit: Never learned to type.

Edited July 6, 2003 by maggiethecat (log)

[adobohead]

"Two-thousand five-hundred thirty-six, two-thousand five-hundred thirty-seven..."

they'll never notice...don't panic now...don't panic!

...but that look in his eyes, so calculating...he knows who you are...HE KNOWS!!!

STEADY girl...steady...only 536 to g--wait a minute, where was I? DAMMIT!

Edited July 6, 2003 by adobohead (log)

[pnapoli]

"Sloppy joe.

Slop, sloppy joe.

Sloppy joe.

Slop, sloppy joe.

Yeah.

Sloppy joe.

Slop, sloppy joe.

Yeah.

Sloppy joe."

[tootallfortoques]

Our chef prepares the amuse bouche: Salade de thon de Souterrain™ sans pain et dans une tasse en plastique.

[JAZ]

"I don't care what they say -- this Friskies Helper is the best thing since sliced bread."

[foodie52]

If I just concentrate and keep quiet, nobody will notice that I'm not wearing pants.

[foodie52]

Two years and $33,000 later, Undercover Agent Gladys realizes that she attended the wrong CIA...

Edited July 9, 2003 by foodie52 (log)

[paris73]

"I wonder what this would taste like as ice cream???"

[Varmint]

"If the Perlows want larb balls, I'll give 'em the goddamned larb balls."

[gus_tatory]

(apologies to jonathan demme/silence of the lambs)

"It puts the tuna salad in the 2 oz. cup..."

[lamb]

"And they said in Miss Susan's Charm, Beauty and

Fast Food Preparation School that I would never amount to anything. If they could only see me now."

[alkonin]

"she was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean, she was the best damn woman that i ever seen..."

[lamb]

"The things you have to do until your big break on Broadway."

[22tango]

(with apologies.... )

"And soon, mechanically, dispirited after a dreary day with the depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tuna in which I had dipped a morsel of bread. No sooner had the crunchy salad mixed with the crumbs touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestions of its origin. And at once, the vicissitudes of life had become different to me..."

[MsRamsey]

Rocco DiSpirito's mother is relegated to the back of the kitchen, performing only menial tasks, as the NBC cameras roll.