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TDG: Cell Block Cuisine, Part I


Fat Guy
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Meet "Sam," our correspondent on the inside.

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Be sure to check The Daily Gullet home page daily for new articles (most every weekday), hot topics, site announcements, and more.

Steven A. Shaw aka "Fat Guy"
Co-founder, Society for Culinary Arts & Letters, sshaw@egstaff.org
Proud signatory to the eG Ethics code
Director, New Media Studies, International Culinary Center (take my food-blogging course)

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Hmm. Is turkey in bulk just that cheap? Or is serving it in prisons and mental institutions an attempt to induce mass turkey coma?

Friend of mine spent a few days in the local booby hatch a couple of years ago, and says that all they were fed was various iterations of turkey products (turkey sausage, turkey loaf, turkey stroganoff, etc.) and pudding. Apparently the sugar rush from the pudding wasn't enough to counteract the tryptophan from the turkey.

"Tea and cake or death! Tea and cake or death! Little Red Cookbook! Little Red Cookbook!" --Eddie Izzard
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What are those "bits"?! Since I don't plan to be locked up in any facility anytime soon. But then again why is Adam Smith quoting Chef "Sam" locked up? And for how long? And I can't wait to try that trick with the popcorn bag - since I still don't have a stove - thanks!

And no, sorry, I won't send him photos or personal articles of clothing.

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The identity of Sam has not been provided to me -- Bourdain is acting as a buffer -- but if someone is in a federal lockup there's a better than 50% chance that it's a drug rap. And given the other hints the educated guess is that it's probably a short-term, relatively low-security incarceration.

Come on Lou, if we send you an eGullet thong you'll send it back to Sam, won't you?

Steven A. Shaw aka "Fat Guy"
Co-founder, Society for Culinary Arts & Letters, sshaw@egstaff.org
Proud signatory to the eG Ethics code
Director, New Media Studies, International Culinary Center (take my food-blogging course)

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Maybe several of us could do that with the same thong, and then it could be awarded to the victor in a winner-take-all volleyball game on the inside. Or just traded for a case of ramen.

Steven A. Shaw aka "Fat Guy"
Co-founder, Society for Culinary Arts & Letters, sshaw@egstaff.org
Proud signatory to the eG Ethics code
Director, New Media Studies, International Culinary Center (take my food-blogging course)

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One of you should wear the thong, snap a pic of you wearing said thong, then send both pic & unwashed thong.

Geez, guys, be nice to Sam.

And, no, I'm not volunteering.  :biggrin:

I thought that was a lawn gnome thing??? Maybe the gnome could wear the thong at various culinary hot spots?

I'm hollywood and I approve this message.

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Maybe several of us could do that with the same thong, and then it could be awarded to the victor in a winner-take-all volleyball game on the inside. Or just traded for a case of ramen.

OK, then me first.

Err... its possible that some people aren't going to be turned off by that idea--the idea of wearing it after a woman, I mean. Steven could march around all day with it on afterwards. Now the other way around... I'm sure there would be problems.

Okay. This conversation is getting too weird.

Jon Lurie, aka "jhlurie"

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I seem to remember the illustrious Arizona Sheriff Joe Arapaho used to make the local population eat green baloney. Supposedly, there was nothing wrong with it. The food was a coloring mistake. Hmmm...

LOVE your sig Hannah. Eddie Izzard is my favorite executive transvestite. Ciao

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I don't think it was a coloring mistake. I think it was intentional. Green bologna and pink underwear, as I recall. But this guy is in federal lockup; not AZ state (lucky for him).

Steven A. Shaw aka "Fat Guy"
Co-founder, Society for Culinary Arts & Letters, sshaw@egstaff.org
Proud signatory to the eG Ethics code
Director, New Media Studies, International Culinary Center (take my food-blogging course)

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If you're offered nine months in the county lock-up you should plea-bargain for a year in state custody.

PJ

Edited by pjs (log)

"Epater les bourgeois."

--Lester Bangs via Bruce Sterling

(Dori Bangs)

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"Zapp Co. of California makes a full line of condiments and sauces approved for the prison population"

What makes a sauce or condiment suitable for felons?

Arthur Johnson, aka "fresco"
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"Zapp Co. of California makes a full line of condiments and sauces approved for the prison population"

What makes a sauce or condiment suitable for felons?

Does this Zapp's have any relationship to the Zapp Foods in New Orleans (who make some pretty well known Potato Chips? They also apparently make salsa and other condiments...

Jon Lurie, aka "jhlurie"

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