Varmint Exposed!

[Marlene]

You go Varmint. What's a pastie I thought those were the little things strippers wore. If you're eating those, you won't gain much weight, but you might get a headache from Mrs. Varmint

[Varmint]

Nah, we're not talking about pasties and a g-string here. Pasties are simply a small meat and root vegetable pie. Mrs. Varmint makes several dozen from time to time and freezes them. The kids love them, and we had a ton of them. I ate 2 small ones. Don't tell Mrs. V, but they were a bit dry.

[Marlene]

whew!

[Random Alias]

He is dancing his fat away!

looks more like a porno-pig to me.

I can see that...

[NewYorkTexan]

Perhaps this joke will give Varmit some new ideas as he continues to modify his eating habits.

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast.

"Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast and maybe some

grapefruit and coffee?" she asks.

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my

appetite."

At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade

soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires.

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like

maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe a microwave pizza or a tasty stir-fry

that would only take a couple of minutes?"

He declines. "Naw, still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving.

[reverendtmac]

Hey Varmit - thought I'd give you my golf diet, if you're gonna be out for any other tournaments in the near future. I was down in the Tri-Cities of Washington State for a tourney this past weekend and managed to lose 5 pounds in 3 days. The simple and skinny:

Friday - 4 bottles of water on the drive down, thanks to my friend Scott in Pullman feeding me a steak and salad made bloody with the juices, two Manhattans, three Guinness and half a pitcher of some microbrew called The Arrogant Bastard the night before. Got to the course, teed off - two more bottles of water, two Henikens and a MGD. Hot dog at the turn. Between rounds: BLT, fries. More water. Second 18 - more water, more Heni's. After round: Atomic Ale brewery - two slices of 'za with alfredo and portabello mushrooms, three pints of porter and a shot of Jack.

Saturday - 2 1-liter bottles of water and a powerbar before I teed off. Another powerbar after nine. Lunch was a hot dog between 18's. Dinner was a burger, chili, fries. After the second round: the annual RSG-NW beer exchange; so at *least* six different microbrews. I lost count.

Sunday - Couple powerbars, two liters of water before I teed off; liter on the course; this was the big money skins game ($1-3-5, going up after every six holes). Chicken sandwich, chips, potato salad afterwards, two big cans of Fosters, a Heni, a cigar, then off to a shithole dive bar for more pitchers. A cheesesteak thrown in there somewhere.

I don't think the fact that I walked and carried for 90 holes had anything to do with it, huh?

Keep up the good work!

[Varmint]

When I was in France a few years back, I ate like a pig for two straight weeks. Every morning involved gobs of pastries. Lunch was laden with cheese and bread and wine and meats. Dinners were over the top. We ate and drank constantly. However, we were walking several miles each day, too. I lost 4 pounds on that trip.

That's the problem with sitting on your keister all day long.

[Varmint]

219. One pound in one week. To be honest, folks, I'm pretty damn excited. After a weekend of serious binge drinking, too much bad food, and zero exercise, I still managed to drop a pound. Under the old regimen, I would have gained 2 or 3.

The doctor gave me a new antibiotic yesterday, and I'm hoping that will clear up the sore throat and cough. I have got to get some exercise. I'd probably be down to 215 by now!!!

Seriously, I don't feel as if I've sacrificed one bit from the beginning of this plan. I get full more quickly. I have more energy. I pee a lot more. OK, that's a bit of a problem.

I'll eat well this next week. I'm doing a dinner party tomorrow (ideas, anyone?), but I'll focus on what's fresh at the farmers' market. Strawberries and balsamico make a great dessert. I may make a strawberry sorbet, lightly sugared, and break out the good balsamico. Just thinking of relatively healthy things to do.

Thanks for your support.

Oh, and I had a tuna burger and white asparagus for dinner and my two slices of toast for breakfast.

[elyse]

Funny, NYTexan!

[Varmint]

Based on the lack of posts on this thread of late, I think people have grown tired of a daily diary of my eating habits. Thus, consider this now the "Sportscenter" version of highlights. Breakfasts have been french toast (2 slices), 2 eggs with 1 piece of toast, and strawberries and bananas. Lunches have been chicken salad on a mixed green salad, a ham, Karaka & olive sandwich, and an apple. Dinners have been a bit more intriguing: tonight was a Thai feast at the house of some friends from Thailand. I don't know the actual names of all the dishes: a green papaya salad with dried shrimp; a red chicken curry; a crunchy noodle dish with chicken, pork and peppers; some really cool shrimp dish; asparagus; stuffed fried wontons; and a couple of glasses of white wine. Last night chicken roasted with garlic, lemon & thyme; green beans; corn on the cob; strawberry shortcake (very good homemade shortcakes). Saturday night was mixed green salad with toasted pine nuts, roasted beets, local goat cheese (Celebrity Dairy), cucumber, with a mint-balsamic vinaigrette; braised short ribs and some pan roasted wild salmon served with buttermilk mashed potatoes and yellow squash, tomato, and English pea saute; dessert was a strawberry sorbet served with a minted, not very sweet, creme anglaise-like sauce, all with 12 year old balsamico and blueberries.

As decadent as this sounds, I lost a pound this weekend, as I didn't eat like a pig. Plus, I walked about 6 miles. I'm now going to eat strawberry shortcake, as I didn't have any dessert after the Thai feast.

Until the next exciting episode . . .

[awbrig]

Varmint now weighs 84 lbs.

[maggiethecat]

Based on the lack of posts on this thread of late, I think people have grown tired of a daily diary of my eating habits.

You are So Wrong!

And we are thrilled to hear about that pound. Think of the mass of a pound of butter...or ground chuck. It's not sticking to you anymore.

Good work. We hang breathlessly....

[Ellen Shapiro]

V -- I don't know what all the struggle is about, I just got an e-mail from Joey Spoon and he promised me that I could lose 82% of my body fat--and keep it off--in just a couple of months. I'm sure if you asked nicely, he'd help you too. I believe it because in the e-mail it says:

"As seen on NBC, CBS, and CNN, and even Oprah!"

[maggiethecat]

Until the next exciting episode . . .

Waiting impatiently...

[Xanthippe]

Until the next exciting episode . . .

Waiting impatiently...

As am I, although Xanthippe isn't known for her patience (just ask Socrates!!) . . .

So git on with it, Varmint!!!!!

[Varmint]

OK, OK, OK!!!

Let's see. Yesterday seems so far away. It was not a good day, as I seemed to be tired and hungry all day long. I therefore lacked willpower, and my eating reflected that. I actually started to doze off at a red light yesterday morning before the person behind me was rude enough to wake me from my slumber.

Anyhow, I did the smoothie thing again. Y'know, smoothies are one of those fads that came and went very, very quickly. There was a smoothie joint on every block, it seemed. Plus, they'd always add those wacked out powders to them, some of which were for energy, others for mental power, and others for libido. As if guys ever need that last one! But I digress. I had a great fresh strawberry and blueberry smoothie. A bit of vanilla yogurt and some lemon juice was all that I added. No rhino horn powder for this kid!!

Lunch was a ham and tomato sandwich at home. I started to crave some chips, but all we had were Pringles. I had about 15 of those. I then had a granny smith apple. Who was Granny Smith, and why did she deserve to have an apple named after her? Later that afternoon, I had 2 of those little, teeny Hershey Special Dark bars that a secretary had put out in her candy jar. I hadn't done that in ages. When I got home, I was still hungry, Mrs. Varmint had left to run around on the soccer field, and there was leftover pizza. I had three slices. I then had some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream an hour later.

Today has been a touch better. I had one slice of toast and a banana. The summer clerk that I took for lunch wanted seafood for lunch – fried seafood. Uh oh. I had some fried shrimp (damn, it was good), 1 hush puppy, and 5 or 6 fries. We then walked around the NC Farmers Market where the seafood restaurant is located. I had a sample of fresh peach and strawberry, both of which were very good. We also walked by to visit the Nahunta Pork Outlet, where you can buy a pig's head for $9.49 (just in the odd chance you were in the market for one). I hadn't bought a full hog in ages, so I priced one for my pig pickin'. Amazingly, the price for a cleaned pig, without the head (but with the trotters), is $1.09 a pound. That's cool.

Tonight, I'll eat a salad. I'm full, plus we have a closing on the refinancing of our house. I can afford to eat lightly!

There, is that enough, Maggie and Xanthippe???

[maggiethecat]

Very generous, Varmint! And actually, it made me hungry.

(My sister-in-law's in-laws--tiny octegenarians--both actually fell asleep at a red light. Thank God he must have put the car in gear first.)

[hjshorter]

Sounds like things are going well! Congrats on the pound. And don't sweat the cookie dough ice cream, it happens. I couldn't have made it through yesterday afternoon without a handful of chocolate chips.

I've lost 6.5 pounds so far myself. We will be shadows of our former selves come October.

[Xanthippe]

There, is that enough, Maggie and Xanthippe??? 

Much better now, Varmint, thanks!!

And as hjshorter sez, "don't sweat the cookie dough ice cream" one little bit. Life's too short . . .

[Varmint]

Dinner last night was a salad with grilled chicken, lots of veggies, a half piece of bread, 2 glasses of water, and half a piece of caramel cheesecake, split with Mrs. Varmint. Remember, I ordinarily would have had 2 beers and at least one full piece of cheesecake. That's how I'm rationalizing it.

Breakfast was bananas and fresh raspberries from my sister-in-law's raspberry bush. Lunch was turkey on rye with mustard, a granny smith apple, and 3 leftover chocolate easter eggs (those nasty little ones). I had some fruit for a snack.

For dinner, Mrs. Varmint was playing in the championship game in her soccer league, so I made a pasta dish that she'd never eat: it had about 20 whole cloves of garlic that I pan roasted in EVOO; about 20 picholine olives, sliced; half a julienned red bell pepper; half a red onion; 25 grape tomatoes from the farmers' market; a couple of anchovies; and some hot red pepper flakes. I had probably 3 ounces of dried pasta. I'm now craving something sweet, but I think I'll get over that craving.

WEIGH-IN TOMORROW.

[Xanthippe]

Dinner last night was a salad with grilled chicken, lots of veggies, a half piece of bread, 2 glasses of water, and half a piece of caramel cheesecake, split with Mrs. Varmint.  Remember, I ordinarily would have had 2 beers and at least one full piece of cheesecake.  That's how I'm rationalizing it.

Breakfast was bananas and fresh raspberries from my sister-in-law's raspberry bush.  Lunch was turkey on rye with mustard, a granny smith apple, and 3 leftover chocolate easter eggs (those nasty little ones).  I had some fruit for a snack.

For dinner, Mrs. Varmint was playing in the championship game in her soccer league, so I made a pasta dish that she'd never eat: it had about 20 whole cloves of garlic that I pan roasted in EVOO; about 20 picholine olives, sliced; half a julienned red bell pepper; half a red onion; 25 grape tomatoes from the farmers' market; a couple of anchovies; and some hot red pepper flakes.  I had probably 3 ounces of dried pasta.  I'm now craving something sweet, but I think I'll get over that craving.

WEIGH-IN TOMORROW.

Good luck at the weigh-in, Varmint!

About that delicious-sounding pasta: Why would Mrs. Varmint not eat it? Too much garlic? The picholine olives? The anchovies, perhaps, or the hot red pepper flakes??

And you needn't rationalize that half piece of cheesecake, because you made a choice not to have a whole piece -- nor did you have two beers. Good for you.

[Varmint]

I'll rationalize anything. Seriously, if I start depriving myself of the stuff I have always eaten, I'm doomed to fail. This week has been a bit harder than the previous weeks, but I'm hanging in there.

As far as Mrs. V is concerned, I somehow managed to marry a picky eater. She wouldn't have liked all the olives in there, plus she isn't enamored with very spicy food. She can handle capers, however, so I add them to sauces when I want some semblance of an olive-like flavor.

Can you move to NC and be my personal coach, Xanthippe?!

[nerissa]

I'll rationalize anything.  Seriously, if I start depriving myself of the stuff I have always eaten, I'm doomed to fail.  This week has been a bit harder than the previous weeks, but I'm hanging in there.

As far as Mrs. V is concerned, I somehow managed to marry a picky eater.  She wouldn't have liked all the olives in there, plus she isn't enamored with very spicy food.  She can handle capers, however, so I add them to sauces when I want some semblance of an olive-like flavor. 

Can you move to NC and be my personal coach, Xanthippe?!

It seems that you are approaching this project in the best way possible. One trick that I am trying recently is to eat your cravings in halfsies or such. For example, after my yoga class on Friday, I go to the health food store below and get a blueberry protein shake at the juice bar. Cravings haven't been met--don't be silly. I also buy a grab bag of the Kettle's Salt and Vinegar potato chips.

Also, at Maggie's party last Saturday, I had not one but two slices of her Lemon Curd tart with blackberries. It was more than worth it.

[Kim WB]

Varmint, I am a bit late joining this thread, but I enjoyed catching up with your progress.

I made a "lifestyle" change on August 1,and have lost 44 lbs.

I would like to suggest a book, Eat, Drink and Be Healthy, by Walter Willet. The Harvard Medical School Guide to Good Eating. It includes a revised food pyramid. It is NOT a diet book,with criteria and eating plans. It adresses carbs, fats and alcohol in a pragmatic, realistic way.

Keep up the good work. I used to reward myself with weekends "off", and for the first few months I would eat everything during those weekends..but eventually, it just became so ingrated into my habits, that I really hardly consume more calories on the weekends anymore. I might have a few extra glasses of wine or a dessert, but I'm so out of the snacking and overeating habit, I don't fall back into it even when I'm not paying attention.

And, wehn you reach a smaller size clothes, throw or give your old ones away, and only buy a few new pants that fit in your current size, plus I pair a size smaller! I don't mean your work suits and stuff, but casual clothes.

[Varmint]

Oh, and I've still not resumed exercising yet. That's insane, but my cough is just about over. Call it an excuse, but I'm just going to start waking up at 5:00 AM again and go for a long power walk. Once the cough is gone, I'll add an aerobic element to it.

Of course, that'll make me incredibly hungry!!!