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Competition Round Two: Tom Swifties


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... she said wantonly.

We'll be announcing the winners of the first Golden Gully awards this week and publishing the full archive of submissions at the end. In the meantime, let's get started on the next topic:

The Tom Swiftie is an adverbial pun. Edward L. Stratemeyer, in the original Tom Swift books, had his Boy Hero use adverbs that mirrored what he was saying.

One line, EGullet wits! And Tom Swift wants something about food. Greedily.

Swifties are meant to be bad, so go ahead, be shameless. Like so:

"Pass the grapes!" said Veronica soulfully.

"You call that good chocolate?" she snickered.

"I don't have to do this for a living," said the pastry chef tartly.

"Leftover schnitzel tonight," she revealed.

"Too much vermouth in my martini," he said dryly.

Ignore what Elmore Leonard says. Love those adverbs! And win that T-shirt.

As before, just post your submissions here. They'll be held in a queue, read by the judges, and released when we announce the winners.

Friday at midnight: your deadline.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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Tom Swifties. I have not had a "witty" week. All of the kids have colds and are whiny. But, here goes:

"Why Klink, let me count the ways...brisket, kielbasa, ribs, pork shoulder..." murmurred Batgrrrl smokily.

"Waiter, I ordered this steak black and blue, not well done" beefed Jinmyo rawly.

"A cornichone. Just an expensive dill pickle if you ask me," sneered Bertha sourly.

"Honey, don't forget to butter and flour the cake pan" said Mom dryly.

"Darling, but that salad is a 3-day garlic commitment; eat it and you sleep alone" informed his beloved odoriferously.

Edited by snowangel (log)
Susan Fahning aka "snowangel"
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"I loathe flaccid bacon," she stated crisply.

"You call that a knife-sharpening job??" the Executive Chef asked cuttingly.

"I need those green beans prepped now!" the sous chef barked snappily.

"Whasshhh good to eat at thishh place?" the drunk at the Jamaican restaurant mumbled jerkily.

"Give me an extra dollop of that chipotle salsa, honey," the vamp purred smokily.

"I enjoy a good Gewurztraminer with my strudel," she said spicily.

"Ouch! I nicked my knuckles when I grated that rhizome," he winced gingerly.

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"The souffle collapsed," Chef Tom said flatly.

"Bourdain's on tour," Fat-Guy said tonily.

"Where have all the flour's gone?", the pastry chef sang folksily.

"Where does Maggie get off grilling fish," the chef said catily.

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A couple more:

"But mommy, why can't we eat the big goldfishy fish in your garden pond?" asked Peter coyly. (assuming homonyms apply, but then again, just about anything probably goes with egullet :biggrin: )

And, finally, because one so rarely uses the adverb in the following:

"I can't believe you'd serve me fries fried in lard," his vegetarian friend protested unctiously.

Susan Fahning aka "snowangel"
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I know it's past the deadline but I'm hoping you haven't judged them all yet -

"You have the last piece, Clarice. Your appetite is definitely bigger than mine", Dr. Lector admitted manfully.

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The third place winner was announced today in The Daily Gullet. Second and first place winners will be announced on Wednesday and Friday of this week. Once all the winners are announced, the honorable mention entries will be published here on this thread. Congratulations to our third place winner!

Steven A. Shaw aka "Fat Guy"
Co-founder, Society for Culinary Arts & Letters, sshaw@egstaff.org
Proud signatory to the eG Ethics code
Director, New Media Studies, International Culinary Center (take my food-blogging course)

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