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Osterie d'Italia by Slow Food


Craig Camp
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Craig, lighten up.  It was a joke.

Sorry if I missed the humor. Getting in these debates with Steve can test your sense of humor. There was someting familar about Steve's argument style but I just couldn't put my finger on it - until last night while watching the following skit on an old Monty Python tape:

M: (Knock)

A: Come in.

M: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?

A: I told you once.

M: No you haven't.

A: Yes I have.

M: When?

A: Just now.

M: No you didn't.

A: Yes I did.

M: You didn't

A: I did!

M: You didn't!

A: I'm telling you I did!

M: You did not!!

A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?

M: Oh, just the five minutes.

A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.

M: You most certainly did not.

A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.

M: No you did not.

A: Yes I did.

M: No you didn't.

A: Yes I did.

M: No you didn't.

A: Yes I did.

M: No you didn't.

A: Yes I did.

M: You didn't.

A: Did.

M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.

A: Yes it is.

M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.

A: No it isn't.

M: It is!

A: It is not.

M: Look, you just contradicted me.

A: I did not.

M: Oh you did!!

A: No, no, no.

M: You did just then.

A: Nonsense!

M: Oh, this is futile!

A: No it isn't.

M: I came here for a good argument.

A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.

M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

A: It can be.

M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

A: No it isn't.

M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.

A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.

M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'

A: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

(short pause)

A: No it isn't.

M: It is.

A: Not at all.

M: Now look.

A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.

M: What?

A: That's it. Good morning.

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Funny - now I understand SP!

But you missed out the best bit when the arguer refuses to argue as his time is up- the client then pays for the 'full half hour', money changes hands and:

Q: Well?

A: Well what?

Q: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes. Right?

A: I've told you I am not allowed to argue with you unless I get paid.

Q: (indignant) But I just paid you!

A: No you didn't.

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That's funny.

John Cleese came to be a guest speaker at my sons school. After he spoke, one of my sons went up to introduce himself. He said hi, I am **** Plotnicki whereas Cleese looks at him, and says "**** Plotnicki, is that an anagram?" Kid was totally dumbstruck and didn't know what to say.

He also told a story about how somehow half of his family became known as Cheese instead of Cleese. And he went to live with them and they introduced him to the next door neighbors as Mr. Cleese. The neighbors were like "Cheese and Cleese both in the same house, how odd?" He had the kids (I guess my guys were 14 at the time) rolling in the aisles.

Edited by Steve Plotnicki (log)
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