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Pet names for kitchenware


FlashJack
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A little Sunday light-heartedness.

 

Do you have pet names for your kitchen gear?

 

My CSO was known as Silver Princess. Replaced by the APO, Black Beauty.

 

Witchy-Poo is a length of bamboo broom handle. Its smooth surface and light gauge makes for an excellent rolling pin. The name comes from a character in HR Puffingstuff.

 

Little Precious is my smallest stainless steel stockpot. I fell in love with this pot the moment I spotted it in a kitchen supplies store because of its exquisite proportions. A lilliputian exemplar of the form. The Platonic ideal of a stock pot. Always brings joy and is surprisingly handy.

 

Diamond Jim is a Swiss Diamond casserole. 'Diamond' Jim Tilbrook was an American gridiron player disastrously recruited here to play Australian Rules Football in the '70s. He was paid an unheard-of salary and was a complete flop. He played for my team.

 

My latest acquisition is Big V, a 31cm (12.2 inch) Victorinox chef knife. Back when state-of-origin football was a thing my state team (Victoria) wore a blue jumper with a white big V and were known as The Big V. They were utterly dominant. My Big V is an imposing presence in the kitchen. Can deal with anything.

 

Who else names their tools?

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This brought to mind a funny memory - one of my room mates was a friend from high school; we shared an apartment for a year or two.  For her birthday, I bought her an espresso maker (we were young and not very flush so it was not an expensive machine!)  After admiring it and setting it on a place of pride on a kitchen counter, we never actually used it much.  She did have names for some of our things (cars, mostly.  My baby blue VW beetle was christened "Mildred" by her for some unknown reason, neither of us had never known a Mildred and we never watched Mildred Pierce either).  So one day she starts assigning names for various kitchen things, and stops at the espresso maker.   I realize she doesn't much use this appliance that she had been pining for and without thinking - or hesitating! - I suggested she should call it "Dusty" 🤣

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I've previously mentioned my big stainless bowl "the placenta bowl" (think hospital) Oddly I name cars (Roxanne is last) and plants but not not kitchen stuff. 

Edited by heidih (log)
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If I'm being honest, my frequent inability to cough up the actual name of a given kitchen implement (never mind a fanciful one) is a reason I prefer to be alone in the kitchen. :P

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“Who loves a garden, loves a greenhouse too.” - William Cowper, The Task, Book Three

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Not appliances, but foodstuffs have pet names in my life. I've mentioned a few here before to people's bewilderment. Sparrow juice, being the most repeated. I've never served sparrow juice with tangly jelly, as far as I recall, though now I've thought of it, I might.

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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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I did have one vehicle name - The Elf. 1980s?

 

1971603546_TheELF.thumb.jpg.6a0ab01ce2045e9cea9e276c7e69a815.jpg

 

So named for its registration plate ELF 720Y. Miss it a lot.

 

I know this will be sent to the darkness for not being food related, but that thing carried me, my late wife and and my kids to food delights beyond our imagination!

And no one will take that away from me.

 

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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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we had a 1984 Quantum wagon - name used only(?) in USA - morphed to Passat.

diesel - it did 150,000 miles - good car

sold it, later saw it cruising down the road 8 years later (with the same Herz fuer Kinder window sticker...)

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  • 2 weeks later...
5 hours ago, BugCollector said:

my garden pruning shears were Cyndi Loppers

Excellent work.

 

A friend calls his robotic vacuum cleaner Sigmund Droid.

Edited by FlashJack
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