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How We Ate Growing Up, Revisited


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Today I came across a topic that was started in 2002 by Ivan, who is no longer active. It was fascinating and it is wonderful to see the diversity of the members and to be able to share in their heartfelt reminiscences.

I think that  this topic deserves resurrection.

These are all Ivan's questions from the original thread.

https://forums.egullet.org/topic/12849-how-we-ate-growing-up/


"What was your family food culture when you were growing up?


Was meal time important?


Was cooking important?


What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table?


Who cooked in the family?


Were restaurant meals common, or for special occassions?


Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over?


When did you get that first sip of wine?


Was there a pre-meal prayer?


Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)?


How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life?


Even though other threads cover memories of specific foods or dishes, please include those memories here if they illustrate your family's food culture."

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1 hour ago, Tropicalsenior said:

Today I came across a topic that was started in 2002 by Ivan, who is no longer active. It was fascinating and it is wonderful to see the diversity of the members and to be able to share in their heartfelt reminiscences.

I think that  this topic deserves resurrection.

These are all Ivan's questions from the original thread.

https://forums.egullet.org/topic/12849-how-we-ate-growing-up/


"What was your family food culture when you were growing up?


Was meal time important?


Was cooking important?


What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table?


Who cooked in the family?


Were restaurant meals common, or for special occassions?


Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over?


When did you get that first sip of wine?


Was there a pre-meal prayer?


Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)?


How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life?


Even though other threads cover memories of specific foods or dishes, please include those memories here if they illustrate your family's food culture."

 

Growing up on a small farm in the South, we ate mostly what we raised. Lots of garden vegetables, farm raised beef and pork, farm eggs. Flour, coffee, etc., came from the grocery, but that was about it. Meal time was always 5 p.m.; Daddy got home from work (like most folks, he had a "day job" and farmed on weekends) at 4:30, and that gave him time to clean up, get a cup of coffee and read the paper. Meals were homecooked 29 nights out of 30; we might go out once a month. Mama cooked, usually from a fairly basic repertoire of pork and beef dishes, with, rarely, some chicken (Daddy said they fed him so much chicken in the Army he didn't care if he ever ate it again). There wasn't a specific night for a specific dish, though. Grandmama washed dishes. There was always bread, but rarely home-baked; some foods called for biscuits or cornbread, though. Mama only made yeast bread once or twice a year.

 

First sip of wine? After I was grown. We were a tee-totalling household when I was a kid.

 

Key component of our family food culture, I think, was preserving what we grew, either freezing or canning. I still do it, after a 40-year hiatus.

 

Yes, there was generally a pre-meal, brief prayer. I, the only child, was scolded for elbows on the table, but little else. I was scolded much more for chewing with my mouth open, something I Will Not Do and cannot abide as an adult.

 

I still fall back on a lot of the same dishes now, but I cook a lot more sporadically and do branch out a lot more. We usually had ice cream in the freezer; I usually don't now. 

 

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Don't ask. Eat it.

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As a young one coming from immigrant parents who both worked - great grandma (Alte Oma) did the cooking. Traditional Austrian/Hungarian but dad was a butcher so there was always beef (managed beef packing plant). Breakfast usually cream of wheat (with Nestle's Quick stirred in if we were splurging). Fridays meatless (Catholic). Usually sweet. They had this nailed after the food shortages during and post WW2.  Weekly the thin egg noodles were made. Yup the flour with the well for the eggs. Rindsuppe on Sunday (beef) with those noodles.

 

After AO was gone my mom was stay at home and it became meat, starch, veg, salad. On repeat. Not bad but... Cooking classes with her friend introduced stroganoff, fondue, spinach salad with hot dressing and the like. Hello Sunset magazine.

 

Coffee and homemade pastries were the norm for visits to relatives/friends. I am forever spoiled.

 

Lunch at school - problematic - yup me the kid with the avocado sandwich sprinkled with garlic powder. They were clueless.

 

My kindergarten had the meatless Friday gathering. Really good refried beans, tortillas etc. 

 

And ALWAYS the flat leaf parsley patch. I cried as an adult 'hen a local grocery started carrying it and I could smell it - poor produce guy.

 

We won't discuss the raising chicken incidents - we were scarred for a while when the roosters were dispatched...when running like a headless chicken becomes a reality

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"What was your family food culture when you were growing up?

If you've ever read my posts about how my Mother wasn't a cook and I didn't cook except under duress until I was 65, then you've read all this stuff before.  My parents were vegetarians and the paediatrician refused to take care of me unless my Mother fed me meat.  Oh yes.  Either a T-bone or a Porterhouse steak almost every night of my life broiled to shoe leather.  I never realized that people actually 'liked' steak.  Mother ate for supper a bowl of canned consommé and a soft-boiled egg.  Ugh.  She did make salmon patties...ugh...and we ate frozen fish fingers...ugh...  As soon as freezers were available we had a freezer plan and TV dinners...also ugh.  When Ed and I got married, I knew how to make a salad dressing.  That was it.   He could cook well. 


Was meal time important?

Not really.


Was cooking important?

Not at all.


What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table?

Don't know that I did.  I do now.


Who cooked in the family?

Mother as far as it went.  Father could open a can of soup. That was it. 


Were restaurant meals common, or for special occasions?

We did eat out a fair amount I guess.  I was an only child and there must have been enough money.  I remember eating out every Sunday after church in Montreal and Ottawa.  There were so few restaurants in Ottawa.  We went to the Green Valley weekly and I had ham.  I have no idea why I had ham.  I loathe ham and haven't eaten it willingly since the last time I went to the Green Valley.


Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over?

No guests with children were ever invited and honestly I can't remember any guests even being invited until after I left home.  Mother and Father came from different ethnic and religious background and the two families never met.  Long and unpleasant story.


When did you get that first sip of wine?

At my Mother's family table. Manischewitz.  I liked it.  I'm not a wine drinker at all. 


Was there a pre-meal prayer?

Nope.


Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)?

Nope.


How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life?

None.  Now if you asked about Ed's family culture, the answer would be different.  His Mother's family is French-Canadian and he grew up in the middle of great cooking.  His Mother made Millefeuille and cream puffs (as he has told me many, many times) and mayonnaise (ditto), etc, etc.   I "discovered" cooking the year before I joined eGullet and I still don't really cook "North American".  It was the word "ganache" that started it.  And I've never willingly cooked anything Ed's Mother ever cooked.  But boy...do I do international (not necessarily well, but lots and Ed had never had anything out of the ordinary and so couldn't tell me that I wasn't making it the way his Mother did.)  (It's OK really.  This coming March, 60 years of wedded bliss.) Yes, Ed did the turkey.


Even though other threads cover memories of specific foods or dishes, please include those memories here if they illustrate your family's food culture."

I remember thanking my Mother once for introducing me to Brussels Sprouts.  She drew herself up and said in that tone:  "You never ate Brussels Sprouts in MY house". 

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Darienne

 

learn, learn, learn...

 

We live in hope. 

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What was your family food culture when you were growing up?

 

English meat and potatoes.


Was meal time important?

 

For dinner, yes. otherwise it was catch as catch can.


Was cooking important?

 

Not to my depression-era mother, to me it did become important.


What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table?

 

No penalty, just told to get them off the table.


Who cooked in the family?

 

My mother, sometimes my sister, then dinner became my responsibility.


Were restaurant meals common, or for special occassions?

 

Special occasions.  Sometimes Denny's-type places when traveling.


Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over?

 

No.


When did you get that first sip of wine?

 

I don't remember wine. First sip of  beer was when I was nine - and unsupervised. 😂


Was there a pre-meal prayer?

 

Yes, a simple recited prayer. Saying it rotated among me and my siblings.


Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)?

 

Not so much rotating as predictable. My mother wasn't an inspired cook and while there was variety of sources of protein, the  method of preparation didn't vary. When  I turned 14 I had to take over dinner duty andI did start to try and introduce some variety but most of the meals were still plain Jane, which is what  my father wanted.

 

I remember discovering the broiler in the upper oven. Once I broiled the chuck steaks for dinner to a nice medium rare, and was sent back into the kitchen to "finish cooking them." This is similar to the stove I cooked on except it was gas and the oven doors had glass windows.

 

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How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life?

 

Specific dinner time. I do have to watch to avoid the trap of being too repetitive. Starches are the hardest part to be creative with when I'm on autopilot.

 

Mrs Porthos had weight-loss surgery 11 years ago, and we're empty nesters so I am cooking for 1 1/2 people. That adds to the challenge for starches. Have you ever tried to make mashed potatoes for 1 1/2 people. Since I hand mash them I have to make more than I want to be able to mash them. in general I cook mains for no leftovers so I can't really use the leftover starches. 2 simple handfuls of pasta is still too much. At least I don't have to boil a lot of water.

 

This has reminded me that I need to start real menu planning again.

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Porthos Potwatcher
The Once and Future Cook

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55 minutes ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

You probably don't want to hear about orphanage cuisine.

 

Yes, I would be interested but not if the memories make you sad.

It does, however, explain your love  for  unique, interesting, quality food. It also explains why you are such a good cook. Many times I have drooled over pictures of your food. You have no idea how many times you have sent me to the internet looking for the definition of one of your dishes and the recipe.

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6 minutes ago, Tropicalsenior said:

Yes, I would be interested but not if the memories make you sad.

It does, however, explain your love  for  unique, interesting, quality food. It also explains why you are such a good cook. Many times I have drooled over pictures of your food. You have no idea how many times you have sent me to the internet looking for the definition of one of your dishes and the recipe.

 

 

Thanks.  It does, of course, make me sad.  Helping to kill chickens in a fashion that seemed unnecessarily cruel.  One small glass of milk a meal.  And then there was the time the chef forgot the leavening in the pancakes.

 

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Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

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What was your family food culture when you were growing up?

 

"Culture" is a bit of a misnomer. There was nothing cultured about it. Mainly a mix of what my French mother thought Scottish food should be. She had been brought up during wartime rationing and never learned to cook. Still can't.

 

Was meal time important?

 

Not particularly. Regular, but not obsessively so.


Was cooking important?

 

Not in the slightest.


What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table?

What table?


Who cooked in the family?

My father didn't know where the meals appeared from, I'm sure, so my mother made everything until I rebelled and took over when I was around 7 or 8.


Were restaurant meals common, or for special occassions?

Can't remember ever going to a restaurant until I was about 18 years old and that was with a girlfriend, not family.


Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over?

Another table?


When did you get that first sip of wine?

 

Can't remember - very young. French mother, after all. We started off on wine with water at a tender age and it became less dilute with each passing year. Wine was served with every dinner.


Was there a pre-meal prayer?

 

No.


Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)?

 

There was a limited repertoire, but things turned up at random rather than to a set rotation, except fish on Friday - not because we were/are religious, but it was the only fresh protein available on Fridays in a largely catholic community.


How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life?

 

Almost nothing -  except my occasional mince 'n tatties.

 

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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

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8 hours ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

You probably don't want to hear about orphanage cuisine.

 

 

Actually, my mother spent most of her youth in an orphanage near Allentown PA.  I've heard many, many stories about life there; not so much about the food (of which apparently there was precious little) but of the horrid way the children were treated.

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"What was your family food culture when you were growing up?

My mom has always said that she could cook, she just didn't want to. There was lots of spaghetti with sauce from a jar. Always served with cinnamon raisin bread. Occasionally, she would make tacos for the extended family. Ground beef, shredded lettuce, tomatoes (in the summer from dad's garden). She fried the taco shells in a skillet but quit doing that when it popped and she got a pretty bad facial burn. 

Christmas eve was the big holiday. My uncle barbecued a brisket and made barbecued beans. Mom made German potato salad. The GPS was served at 4th of July as well. The only two times a year it was made. 

Some Swanson frozen dinners. An occasional round steak cooked extra super well done.  


Was meal time important?

Yeah, we ate dinner as a family every night.


Was cooking important?

Nope.


What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table?

We were told not to do this.


Who cooked in the family?

Mom. Dad cooked once when mom was in the hospital. Spaghetti noodles with chili on top. My brother and I made fun of him until he got seriously mad. We were just having fun, but he was probably worried about mom. 10+ years later, I was watching Jeff Smith with him and JS made Cincinnati chili. Dad gave every bit of the grief I gave him back to me. 


Were restaurant meals common, or for special occasions?

Very rare.


Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over?

Our house was pretty small, when we went to someone else's house there was a kiddie table.


When did you get that first sip of wine?

I must have been 13 or so. I begged my dad for some wine on NYE. I think he got tired of hearing about it and bought a bottle of Boon's Farm. I had 1/4 of a glass and hated it. I threw up in church the next morning and that was the end of my parental sanctioned underage drinking.


Was there a pre-meal prayer?

Always. Catholic. Bless us O Lord....


Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)?

Mom usually made a roast on Sunday.


How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life?

German potato salad on Christmas Eve and July 4 lives on.

 

ETA: My mom grew up in an orphanage as well. Her mom died when she was 4. My grandfather worked for the railroad and took the kids (3) when he could, but they spent most of the 1930's in an orphanage. 

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That's the thing about opposum inerds, they's just as tasty the next day.

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"What was your family food culture when you were growing up?

A mix of Pennsylvania Dutch from Mother's side and Southern from Dad's.


Was meal time important?

Yes, we had a hearty breakfast every morning before school and dinner was about 5:30, if I remember right.


Was cooking important?

Yes.  Dad had a big appetite and food was important to him...he was the boss in our house.


What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table?

We were told not do that (among other things),


Who cooked in the family?

Only Mom...I had no interest and it was considered woman's work so nothing from Dad or brother.

I didn't learn to cook until I left home and had to.  Then I discovered how enjoyable it could be.


Were restaurant meals common, or for special occasions?

Very rare.  Dad travelled often and wanted only home-cooked meals at home.


Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over?

No.


When did you get that first sip of wine?

At Thanksgiving and Christmas we had Manischewitz (sp?) and we children were allowed a very small glass.


Was there a pre-meal prayer?

Never.  We did not observe any religious traditions.


Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)?

No.  Mom was a good cook and was quite versatile.


How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life?

Much the same except now dinner is preceded by a cocktail hour and it is served much later.

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