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liuzhou

liuzhou

I can't offer professional advice either - at least not in your profession. But I can say that I've had to fight my way back, too.

 

Eight years ago, one summer's day, at precisely 2:30 pm my whole world collapsed. I was about the same age as you, successful in my terms and  happy, but suddenly through no fault of my own everything was torn apart. I don't want to go into details, but it was personal rather than professional.

But, for too long, I was a mess. I couldn't deal with anything. Nothing made sense and I didn't care. I'd always been a kind of optimistic, reasonably strong person, but that all died. I became surly, incompetent and angry with the world.

 

I know I pissed off some people both in my real life and  here on eG by my grumpiness or even rudeness at times. But, then I felt that nobody cared. Maybe that was self-pity. Not nice, but I think understandable. Maybe I should have asked myself why should a bunch of people you don't know on a web forum care.

Then I hit rock bottom and, out of sheer desperation, one day asked a friend for help. As I should have done months before.  She said that she had been waiting for me to ask, because she knew that I wouldn't accept her help until I knew I needed it. She saved my sanity and my life.

It took time, but I calmed down, and although I will never accept or end mourning what happened, I battled through it.  And came out damaged but surviving. The hurt, the pain will never go away, but I'm alive again.

 

My main attachment to this site is that people here, without knowing it helped me through the chaos. I found I was a member of a little community when my physical community had been devastated. Like any other community, there were the people I really valued; there were a very few people who were downright nasty; a few I decided to ignore. But mostly good people just wanting to share what they know and what they want to know.  It was my little escape from my misery.

 

And gradually, I began to heal. Thanks to the people I found were my real friends and thanks to some strangers on a hedonistic food website!

It is a cliché, but time often heals. But friends make time go quicker.

My only advice, which worked for me, is to take one day at a time. Have a plan; a goal. But if it that goal seems to move away don't give up. Adjust the plan; reconfigure the goal. Remember the past, but don't live in it. I did for too long.

Asking for help as you have done is often the first step back.

Good luck

 

liuzhou

liuzhou

I can't offer professional advice either - at least not in your profession. But I can say that I've had to fight my way back, too.

 

Eight years ago, one summer's day, at precisely 2:30 pm my whole world collapsed. I was about the same age as you, successful in my terms and  happy, but suddenly through no fault of my own everything was torn apart. I don't want to go into details, but it was personal rather than professional.

But, for too long, was a mess. I couldn't deal with anything. Nothing made sense and I didn't care. I'd always been a kind of optimistic, reasonably strong person, but that all died. I became surly, incompetent and angry with the world.

 

I know I pissed off some people both in my real life and  here on eG by my grumpiness or even rudeness at times. But, then I felt that nobody cared. Maybe that was self-pity. Not nice, but I think understandable. Maybe I should have asked myself why should a bunch of people you don't know on a web forum care.

Then I hit rock bottom and, out of sheer desperation, one day asked a friend for help. As I should have done months before.  She said that she had been waiting for me to ask, because she knew that I wouldn't accept her help until I knew I needed it. She saved my sanity if not my life.

It took time, but I calmed down, and although I will never accept or end mourning what happened, I battled through it.  And came out damaged but surviving. The hurt, the pain will never go away, but I'm alive again.

 

My main attachment to this site is that people here, without knowing it helped me through the chaos. I found I was a member of a little community when my physical community had been devastated. Like any other community, there were the people I really valued; there were a very few people who were downright nasty; a few I decided to ignore. But mostly good people just wanting to share what they know and what they want to know.  It was my little escape from my misery.

 

And gradually, I began to heal. Thanks to the people I found were my real friends and thanks to some strangers on a hedonistic food website!

It is a cliché, but time often heals. But friends make time go quicker.

My only advice, which worked for me, is to take one day at a time. Have a plan; a goal. But if it that goal seems to move away don't give up. Adjust the plan; reconfigure the goal. Remember the past, but don't live in it. I did for too long.

Asking for help as you have done is often the first step back.

Good luck

 

liuzhou

liuzhou

I can't offer professional advice either - at least not in your profession. But I can say that I've had to fight my way back, too.

 

Eight years ago, one summer's day, at precisely 2:30 pm my whole world collapsed. I was about the same age as you, successful in my terms and  happy, but suddenly through no fault of my own everything was torn apart. I don't want to go into details, but it was personal rather than professional.

But, for too long, was a mess. I couldn't deal with anything. Nothing made sense and I didn't care. I'd always been a kind of optimistic, reasonably strong person, but that all died. I became surly, incompetent and angry with the world.

 

I know I pissed off some people both in my real life and  here on eG by my grumpiness or even rudeness at times. But, then I felt that nobody cared. Maybe that was self-pity. Not nice, but I think understandable. Maybe I should have asked myself why should a bunch of people you don't know on a web forum care.

Then I hit rock bottom and, out of sheer desperation, one day asked a friend for help. As I should have done months before.  She said that she had been waiting for me to ask, because she knew that I wouldn't accept her help until I knew I needed it. She saved my sanity if not my life.

It took time, but I calmed down, and although I will never accept or end mourning what happened, I battled through it.  And came out damaged but surviving. The hurt, the pain will never go away, but I'm alive again.

 

My main attachment to this site is that people here, without knowing it helped me through the chaos. I found I was a member of a little community when my physical community had been devastated. Like any other community, there were the people I really valued; there were a very few people who were downright nasty; a few I decided to ignore. But mostly good people just wanting to share what they know and what they want to know.  It was my little escape from my misery.

 

And gradually, I began to heal. Thanks to the people I found were my real friends and thanks to some strangers on a hedonistic food website!

It is a cliché, but time often heals. But friends make time go quicker.

My only advice, which worked for me, is to take one day at a time. Have a plan; a goal. But if it that goal seems to move away don't give up. Adjust the plan; reconfigure the goal. Remember the past, but don't live in it. I did for too long.

Good luck

 

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