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Stuff You Do In the Kitchen When No One's Looking


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Dance

 

Hell yeah! I try to sing as well, even using wooden spoons as a mic and such. Quite tone deaf, so I do make sure there's either no one around or sufficient amounts of alcohol to be had.

Cooking naked is something I won't be trying again anytime soon. While wearing only sky high stiletto's I noticed how this is a very bad idea when frying pancetta in the name of romance. The bastard kept on telling me, I wasn't romantic enough though. So I dumped him and got myself an apron instead.

 

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Unusual, no: not in this company, anyway. You may not want to tell your neighbors and/or dinner guests.  :laugh:

 

Our neighbour when I was a child would clean the kitchen in her underwear to save her clothes, chain-smoking all the while.

Fortunately my neighbors are all far enough away that I have a great deal of privacy. I took the bread (2 half sheet pans of sourdough focaccia) to a craw fish boil today. It was gone before the first kettle was dumped. I spared those enjoying it the details of its preparation.   

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Some things someone in my family thinks they don't or won't like will get added when they aren't looking, like a dash of brandy or anchovy paste.

Or add mustard, sriracha, cheese or pimenton

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Some things someone in my family thinks they don't or won't  like will get added when they aren't looking, like a dash of brandy or anchovy paste.

 

 

Ditto....heads turn the other way...in goes the fish sauce!!! LOL  :biggrin: 

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~Martin :)

I just don't want to look back and think "I could have eaten that."

Unsupervised, rebellious, radical agrarian experimenter, minimalist penny-pincher, and adventurous cook. Crotchety, cantankerous, terse curmudgeon, non-conformist, and contrarian who questions everything!

The best thing about a vegetable garden is all the meat you can hunt and trap out of it!

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ditto....heads turn the other way...in goes the fish sauce!!! LOL  :biggrin: 

My aunt and my grandfather both hated onions, so my grandmother had several different stealth onion tricks depending on the dish. It was pretty funny. (I still do some of them because it changes the taste of the food if you don't do it the same way.)

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I was terrified of the Swedish chef as kid, since I had problem  with my hearing I couldn't understand him and it scared me.  It wasnt until   I was older I realized he doesn't say anything Swedish...

I try to keep a  clean kitchen.  I will admit to chop everything on the same  board when I making stews, it is going  to cook for 2 - 3 hours so it shouldn't be a problem and some time the meat is going in raw anyway.

 

And admit  licking spoons, but I know I shouldnt due to the chance of making my self ill.  I dont always cook so I can eat and I need to remember  to not  taste the food until I am sure I can have it.

 

Dont cook naked at all, reason well fried or boiled nipples are not  on the menu ...

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Cheese is you friend, Cheese will take care of you, Cheese will never betray you, But blue mold will kill me.

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Dont cook naked at all, reason well fried or boiled nipples are not  on the menu ...

 

It may get hotter and more humid here than where you live.  Bare nipples tonight but dinner was lettuce and cheese, so not much chance of boiling.

Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

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  • 2 months later...
Happened a long time ago when people made their own starch. (Yeah, that long.) My Mom made starch (turns out a milky whitish/bluish hue), saved the leftover in an empty milk bottle (yeah, that long ago!). My Dad always drank milk from the bottle so guess what???? Yuck. Adds a new meaning to stiff upper lip.
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My Dad loved buttermilk and always had a glass with his dinner.  My sneaky older brother loved to switch my glass with my Dad's.

Gad!  Taking a drink of buttermilk when you're expecting sweet milk!!!!  I can almost still taste it.

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I was terrified of the Swedish chef as kid, since I had problem  with my hearing I couldn't understand him and it scared me.  It wasnt until   I was older I realized he doesn't say anything Swedish...

I try to keep a  clean kitchen.  I will admit to chop everything on the same  board when I making stews, it is going  to cook for 2 - 3 hours so it shouldn't be a problem and some time the meat is going in raw anyway.

 

And admit  licking spoons, but I know I shouldnt due to the chance of making my self ill.  I dont always cook so I can eat and I need to remember  to not  taste the food until I am sure I can have it.

 

Dont cook naked at all, reason well fried or boiled nipples are not  on the menu ...

Back in the early '80s I did some personal chef work - a few times for a Brit rocker who like to walk around the house completely starkers.  I insisted he at least put on an apron when he wandered into the kitchen when I was cooking because I could not guarantee he wouldn't be "damaged" in some fashion from hot stuff.  He got the message when he saw me deep frying some tempura veggies and the oil boiled up something fierce.  I didn't have to worry about his girlfriends - I don't think they even knew there was a kitchen in the place, or couldn't find it anyway. 

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"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

 

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I definitely do the fish sauce thing when no one is looking. A few drops in mashed potatoes and no one will know, while everything will be asking "Mmm what is in this?". Unfortunately I do have one supertaster who is particularly sensitive to fishy tastes, so he will *always* spoil the fun and reveal to everyone that I used fish sauce in something

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Taking a drink of buttermilk when you're expecting sweet milk!!!! 

 

My kids tried it on their cereal many years ago.  Once.  They were very careful to avoid the "poison milk" thereafter...

Those who do not remember the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

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My Dad loved buttermilk and always had a glass with his dinner.  My sneaky older brother loved to switch my glass with my Dad's.

Gad!  Taking a drink of buttermilk when you're expecting sweet milk!!!!  I can almost still taste it.

Got that one when I was a kid. My mom used to get mad because I'd sometimes come in from playing outside and take a big swig out of the milk jug. She finally got tired of telling us not to do it and, as I discovered the hard way, filled an empty milk jug with buttermilk. Not only was it an unpleasant surprise when I took a big drink of it, cleaning up the mess after I sprayed it all over the floor wasn't too fun either.

 

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It's kinda like wrestling a gorilla... you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired.

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We drink fil, which is bit like cultured buttermilk, a bit thicker and so lovely. Sadly they cant make  perfect as lactose free, it taste like something is missing.

Cheese is you friend, Cheese will take care of you, Cheese will never betray you, But blue mold will kill me.

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