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Stuff You Do In the Kitchen When No One's Looking

weinoo

By weinoo
in Food Traditions & Culture

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weinoo

weinoo

Posted
Posted

A: Get your minds out of the gutter.

 

B: In another thread about home-made ice cream, the problem of getting the ice cream that's sorta stuck to the dasher and the frozen walls of the canister, off of the dasher and out of the canister, came up.

 

I mentioned that that's the part of the ice cream that the cook gets, when no one is looking; I mentioned it because I know I do it every single time I make ice cream. I'm basically licking the dasher...when no on is looking, of course.  Now, it would really be disgusting if I didn't wash the dasher before making the next batch, but you all know that I do.

 

There are a few other things I do in my kitchen when no one's looking, but I'm gonna save 'em.

 

But I'm wondering - what is it you do in the kitchen when no one's looking?

Mitch Weinstein aka "weinoo"

Tasty Travails - My Blog

My eGullet FoodBog - A Tale of Two Boroughs

Was it you baby...or just a Brilliant Disguise?

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Darienne

Darienne

Posted
Posted

Eat part of the cookie dough.  It's why I don't often make cookies.  It's so yummy uncooked.  Especially shortbread dough. :blush:

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Darienne

 

learn, learn, learn...

 

We live in hope. 

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

Raw chocolate chip cookie dough is my downfall.   :wub:  Like Darienne, I don't make cookies often any more.  :laugh:

 

Invoke the "5-second rule" for things dropped on the floor - if the dog doesn't get there first.  I feel best about it when the object in question is to be cooked anyway, but I've been known to pick up (just-dropped) nuts from the floor and add them to the salad.

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Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

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"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

Dance. Gotta do something while the timer's counting down or the pot's coming to the boil.

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Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx; twitter.com/egullet

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

Cook stark naked.

 

But, no, I do not lick the freezer bowl nor dasher.  Licking the freezer bowl is dangerous and disgusting.  Licking the dasher gets ice cream in one's hair.

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Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

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Mjx

Mjx

Posted
Posted

I disinfect things (long, not-interesting back-story), and do these weird-looking exercises for the glutes and lateral thighs, and I've caught sight of myself doing these, reflected in the window when it's dark out, and it looks pretty deranged. If there is no chance of anyone except my boyfriend wandering in, I sometimes cook wearing little if any clothes, since I have a remarkable capacity for becoming covered in food, and this makes cleanup much easier. I have a horribly vivid imagination, so I only do that when the only risk is of getting messy. I sometimes lick things clean, but end up washing them anyway, because what if somebody saw, and they're appalled and nauseated (hello, imagination)? I sometimes use the boning knife to slice bread, because the bread knife is dirty, and I'm too lazy to scrape the muck off it, and give it a wash.

 

Erm... also: pastis.

Michaela, aka "Mjx"
Manager, eG Forums
mscioscia@egstaff.org

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weinoo

weinoo

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted

How about reaching into a jar of, say, olives to grab a few?

 

I'll never forget how the chef in a restaurant I was working in screamed at someone when they stuck their hand into a barrel of olives to grab some. Basically contaminating the whole lot of 'em.

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Mitch Weinstein aka "weinoo"

Tasty Travails - My Blog

My eGullet FoodBog - A Tale of Two Boroughs

Was it you baby...or just a Brilliant Disguise?

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Blether

Blether

Posted
Posted

I don't remember the season, or the temperatiure, or the explanatory cirvumstances. I deep fry stuff in an open pot of oil on the gas hob. One day I found myself standing in front of said pot with a mesh ladle, waiting for something to fry up, and musing idly, "Deep frying. Naked.... in an earthquake zone".

 

I decided not to do that again.

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QUIET!  People are trying to pontificate.

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Toliver

Toliver

Posted
Posted

I usually have a short helper (a young niece or nephew) when I make ice cream and they get to clean off the dasher as a reward for helping me with the salt and the ice in our ancient electric ice cream maker (an avocado green bucket should tell you the era it's from).

 

When I am in the kitchen by myself, I tend to over-taste everything which means I'm not very hungry when it comes time to serve it.

I'm...er, correcting the seasonings...yeah, that's the ticket.  :cool:  :laugh:

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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JoNorvelleWalker

JoNorvelleWalker

Posted
Posted

What time is dinner tonight?

But seriously, with all the splatters and stuff?!

 

I confess to the occasional oven mitt.

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Cooking is cool.  And kitchen gear is even cooler.  -- Chad Ward

Whatever you crave, there's a dumpling for you. -- Hsiao-Ching Chou

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Shel_B

Shel_B

Posted
Posted (edited)

this is probably very very common :

 

drink directly out of containers in the refrigerator.

 

That's akin to peeing in the shower ... yes, most everyone does it at some time.

Edited by Shel_B (log)

 ... Shel


 

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Anna N

Anna N

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I cook alone most of the time and for just me. Yet I find myself adhering pretty closely to the rules of good hygiene. But it's not necessarily a sign of sainthood. The odd time I have tried to drink milk from a carton I have ended up drenched in milk.

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Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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BeeZee

BeeZee

Posted
Posted

setting the tastiest bit aside for cook's treat, and eating it, before piranha husband materializes

hand feeding bits from the cutting board (cooked protein) to the cat (who is picky enough to not want to eat if it falls on the floor)

"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast" - Oscar Wilde

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Mjx

Mjx

Posted
Posted

I cook alone most of the time and for just me. Yet I find myself adhering pretty closely to the rules of good hygiene. But it's not necessarily a sign of sainthood. The odd time I have tried to drink milk from a carton I have ended up drenched in milk.

 

I tried that once when I was a kid, but with orange juice, and managed only to pour most of the quart down the front of my nine-year-old self. Mess took ages to clean, and it was difficult to remain nonchalant when my parents wondered about the floor being sticky.

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Michaela, aka "Mjx"
Manager, eG Forums
mscioscia@egstaff.org

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cyalexa

cyalexa

Posted
Posted

Quite a few laughs in this thread. I have a kitchen hygiene fetish but I do sometimes lick things clean if they are about to be washed. This morning I was doing some gardening after feeding the horses and had on filthy dirty clothes that I left on the back porch to attend to my bread dough in my underwear. I am pleased to know that these sort of things are not particularly unusual. 

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Smithy

Smithy

Posted
Posted

Unusual, no: not in this company, anyway. You may not want to tell your neighbors and/or dinner guests.  :laugh:

Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
Host, eG Forums - nsmith@egstaff.org

Follow us on social media! Facebook; instagram.com/egulletx; twitter.com/egullet

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)
"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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