Jump to content
  • Welcome to the eG Forums, a service of the eGullet Society for Culinary Arts & Letters. The Society is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of the culinary arts. These advertising-free forums are provided free of charge through donations from Society members. Anyone may read the forums, but to post you must create an account.

Darienne

I will never again . . . (Part 4)

Recommended Posts

I, for one, will never again agree to a catering gig in a "well equipped" kitchen without checking out said kitchen in person. Simple menu, only sixty guests or so for a friends wedding turned into the day from hell when the kitchen in the church basement turned out to be more poorly equipped, and not much bigger than, my home kitchen. Well equipped is quite the relative term I guess...

That hurts just to read it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in labor with my daughter and the 'nesting' instinct kicked in and I decided to make sour dough bread with the culture I had been growing for several weeks.

I went into big time labor and forgot about the rising dough. My husband went back to our apt after I had our daughter and found a huge gooey mess on the counter top and floor of sour dough gone wild.

I still am shocked as to how 3 cups of flour and a little bit of starter could have caused such a mess!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in labor with my daughter and the 'nesting' instinct kicked in and I decided to make sour dough bread with the culture I had been growing for several weeks.

I went into big time labor and forgot about the rising dough. My husband went back to our apt after I had our daughter and found a huge gooey mess on the counter top and floor of sour dough gone wild.

I still am shocked as to how 3 cups of flour and a little bit of starter could have caused such a mess!

Raising my hand vowing never to put a jar of just fed sourdough in the icebox, with a screw-top lid, and forget about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will never again leave the immersion blender in the jar -- turned off -- while I take a taste of the tomato sauce. Because, well,my finger slipped, turned on the blender, cut my index finger to the bone and made the side of the fridge look like the set of a slasher flick.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will never again leave the immersion blender in the jar -- turned off -- while I take a taste of the tomato sauce. Because, well,my finger slipped, turned on the blender, cut my index finger to the bone and made the side of the fridge look like the set of a slasher flick.

First involuntary gasp and shudder of the day. That's terrible. Hope all is mended now.

Reminds me of the time my Father was trying to fix the stand mixer for my Mother and the beaters were in place and it was plugged in. For some unfathomable reason, my Mother turned it on while my Father's fingers were entwined in the beaters. Not a pretty picture. To this day, I wonder....... :raz:

At least you did it to yourself...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister managed to turn the blender on with her fingers inside years ago. She also got the wooden spoon into the mixmaster blades while making a banana bread, smashed the spoon to rat shit - made the bread anyway. We were spitting out chunks of wood the entire loaf!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Go to the hardware store and buy a pair of welding gloves - today. Welding gloves are one of those "hardware store solutions to cooking problems" that everyone should look at. Like microplane rasps, which most people have already embraced.

Welding gloves are SO much better than oven mitts. I can't imagine life without them, both professionally and at home. I have two pairs. One for work. One for home. And they're cheap. There is simply no downside to welding gloves.

After reading this I went to home depot and bought two pairs of different welding gloves to try out since I've been unhappy with my current oven gloves getting too hot. Tested them out with a sheet pan in the oven at 375 for 10 minutes picking it up wearing my old mitt on one hand and the welding glove on the other. The welding gloves were burning my one hand before I could even feel heat on the old mitt hand. I'm returning them to home depot today. Is there a specific brand/model of welding glove you use?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was making clarified butter and wasn't paying attention, so it burned. I usually just pour small amounts of fat down the sink (I know, but hey, I rent), but this time I said I'll do the right thing and pour it off into a can so it could cool down and then throw it away. I poured it into an empty soda can and left it in the sink. A couple minutes later I had to rinse something off and a little water splashed into the can. It started making popping noises and jumping around a little bit. I leaned over to look into it and suddenly it all blows out of the top of the can. Luckily I wear glasses so I didn't get scalding hot butter in my eyes. My kitchen was COVERED with butter, it took forever to clean up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Go to the hardware store and buy a pair of welding gloves - today. Welding gloves are one of those "hardware store solutions to cooking problems" that everyone should look at. Like microplane rasps, which most people have already embraced.

Welding gloves are SO much better than oven mitts. I can't imagine life without them, both professionally and at home. I have two pairs. One for work. One for home. And they're cheap. There is simply no downside to welding gloves.

After reading this I went to home depot and bought two pairs of different welding gloves to try out since I've been unhappy with my current oven gloves getting too hot. Tested them out with a sheet pan in the oven at 375 for 10 minutes picking it up wearing my old mitt on one hand and the welding glove on the other. The welding gloves were burning my one hand before I could even feel heat on the old mitt hand. I'm returning them to home depot today. Is there a specific brand/model of welding glove you use?

This is the same problem I had with welding gloves, you need to get the heavy duty ones with insulation, not just heavy leather. They do not sell these kind at home depot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Go to the hardware store and buy a pair of welding gloves - today. Welding gloves are one of those "hardware store solutions to cooking problems" that everyone should look at. Like microplane rasps, which most people have already embraced.

Welding gloves are SO much better than oven mitts. I can't imagine life without them, both professionally and at home. I have two pairs. One for work. One for home. And they're cheap. There is simply no downside to welding gloves.

After reading this I went to home depot and bought two pairs of different welding gloves to try out since I've been unhappy with my current oven gloves getting too hot. Tested them out with a sheet pan in the oven at 375 for 10 minutes picking it up wearing my old mitt on one hand and the welding glove on the other. The welding gloves were burning my one hand before I could even feel heat on the old mitt hand. I'm returning them to home depot today. Is there a specific brand/model of welding glove you use?

This is the same problem I had with welding gloves, you need to get the heavy duty ones with insulation, not just heavy leather. They do not sell these kind at home depot.

Aargh! I wish this post had been up on Friday. I bought some welding gloves at Menard's Friday afternoon and was disappointed in them when I tried them out yesterday. I had to use a pot holder with them when I moved my roaster out of a 350 degree oven. I would have been fine with just the pot holders. I'll look out for heavy duty insulated ones next time. Any idea where I can find the good stuff?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aargh! I wish this post had been up on Friday. I bought some welding gloves at Menard's Friday afternoon and was disappointed in them when I tried them out yesterday. I had to use a pot holder with them when I moved my roaster out of a 350 degree oven. I would have been fine with just the pot holders. I'll look out for heavy duty insulated ones next time. Any idea where I can find the good stuff?

You might be able to preserve your investment with the purchase of a couple of 'Ove' Gloves. Long ago I used welding gloves for their intended purpose and they're about keeping external, airborne slag from hitting your skin. Not for holding hot things. The Nomex Ove' Gloves are no good at protecting against hot liquids, but are good with dry ambient heat. Together, they could be a good pairing.


Edited by IndyRob (log)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aargh! I wish this post had been up on Friday. I bought some welding gloves at Menard's Friday afternoon and was disappointed in them when I tried them out yesterday. I had to use a pot holder with them when I moved my roaster out of a 350 degree oven. I would have been fine with just the pot holders. I'll look out for heavy duty insulated ones next time. Any idea where I can find the good stuff?

You might be able to preserve your investment with the purchase of a couple of 'Ove' Gloves. The Nomex Ove' Gloves are no good at protecting against hot liquids, but are good with dry ambient heat. Together, they could be a good pairing.

The guys in the neighborhood swear by the 'Ove' gloves when tending their very very hot and blazing fire pits - the kind you sit around. I have seen them reach into what seems to me an inferno, rearrange a log, and grin with satisfaction that their glove is the best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aargh! I wish this post had been up on Friday. I bought some welding gloves at Menard's Friday afternoon and was disappointed in them when I tried them out yesterday. I had to use a pot holder with them when I moved my roaster out of a 350 degree oven. I would have been fine with just the pot holders. I'll look out for heavy duty insulated ones next time. Any idea where I can find the good stuff?

You might be able to preserve your investment with the purchase of a couple of 'Ove' Gloves. Long ago I used welding gloves for their intended purpose and they're about keeping external, airborne slag from hitting your skin. Not for holding hot things. The Nomex Ove' Gloves are no good at protecting against hot liquids, but are good with dry ambient heat. Together, they could be a good pairing.

When I need to hold something REALLY hot I put on an ove glove and then one of the non-insulated welding gloves over it. This is a completely heat-proof solution, I've been able to hold things that were hot enough to make the leather smoke a little a felt no heat inside the glove.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can get high heat welding gloves - the ones usually used for arc welding.

I have an old pair like these that I needed for handling hot glass when fusing and shaping glass in a semi-open kiln. The glass wasn't handled directly but the crimpers and other tools would get hot enough and the glass itself radiate enough heat that this degree of protection was necessary.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...marinate several pounds of chicken in a mixture consisting largely of pureed raw pineapple.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...marinate several pounds of chicken in a mixture consisting largely of pureed raw pineapple.

Oh my! Did you prove the enzyme theory correct - mush?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, yes.

"Chicken Spread" is a product whose time probably will never come.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tried deep frying potato chips tonight. I've never deep fried before. Was doing small batches, and the first one was fine. Second one I think I didn't dry the chips enough.

The oil boiled up, I quickly pulled the pan off the element, but too late, some had already fallen onto the electric element. It ignited almost instantly.

Thankfully, being new to deep frying, I was prepared with a large towel. No harm done, just a bad smell.

What an idiot. I just needed to use a bigger pan.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got a new pizza stone and was trying it out for the first time.

I do not have a peel so I spread my pizza out on a sheet of parchment.

When said pizza was ready I grabbed the edges of the parchment and lifted it out of the oven.

Parched parchment ripped and pizza landed on the floor, upside down, of course.

Hey, I put a lot of work into that pizza.

Turned it over, used a spatula to pick up the toppings and put them back onto the pizza.

Cleaned the floor (before the dogs could get at it) and ate the pizza.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love all these stories! My first dinner party, in my tiny Chicago apartment, I was very young. First I burned off two inches of my bangs (this was the early nineties, so they were serious bangs with a lot of hairspray) and most of my eyebrows when I opened up the broiler drawer next to an open window to check on the chicken satay and a wall of flame leapt out. Just then the buzzer rang, and I let my guests in. They kept asking, "Is something burning?" and I thought they were smelling my burning hair, so I tried to carry it off. It turned out, the elegant candle I lit in the bathroom had found a similar gust of air and was sending up a four inch flame to the wooden cabinet above it. In spite of --or probably because of that-- it was the best party. We are all still friends and we still laugh about it. It taught me to always be honest with guests, and forget my mom's example of pretending to "carry off" a party flawlessly as if your guests are your enemies waiting for you to stumble.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will never again grasp the bread lame incorrectly when removing it from its stupid little sheath. Because 3cm scores in the palm of one's hand are unpleasant and tend to make a mess of the tea towels. The thing has officially cut more human flesh than it has bread dough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Roast chestnuts in my oven without cutting an x in them first. Almost lost an eye.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will not decide that my fruit pies aren't really too full and won't boil over causing a gigantic smokey sticky mess on the bottom of the oven because I didn't slide a baking sheet under them when I put them in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can get high heat welding gloves - the ones usually used for arc welding.

I have an old pair like these that I needed for handling hot glass when fusing and shaping glass in a semi-open kiln. The glass wasn't handled directly but the crimpers and other tools would get hot enough and the glass itself radiate enough heat that this degree of protection was necessary.

I have a pair of Zetex heat-resistant gloves, like these:

https://www.conney.com/Product_-Zetex-Heat-Gloves_50001_10102_-1_55044_11309_11294_11294

They work great, but they're not for everyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×