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Darienne

I will never again . . . (Part 4)

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GUYS.... I am laughing so hard I am crying.  

Thank you so much for the visuals that are funny and disturbing at the same time.

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I can't find the funny part in a pet wolfing down multiple shotgun shells! Was she okay after that, @kayb? That is carrying pica to the out extremes.

 

And I'm glad @heidih's pit bull was okay from the raw rice. That can swell in the stomach and cause a lot of problems.

 

 

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I shall never again...let me preface this by stating I intended mashed potatoes.  Milk, how shall I say, had turned.  Anyhow, I shall never again drop my hot baked potato in the sink.

 

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I will never ever use my Borner Slicer without using the food gripper provided, my poor dear finger-tip:

The saurkraut was lovely though

slicer.jpg

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Posted (edited)

...never again set my cell phone timer for 8 hours instead of 8 minutes to cook my pasta.

 

I usually use my kitchen timer, but it was busy with a prior appointment. The kitchen timer only has minutes and seconds. Didn't notice that the cell phone went up to hours.

 

I was thinking "that seems like a long 8 minutes" after about 20, but I was distracted on some food internet forum or other. I think its name  began with an 'e" and ended with something sounding like it may be a baby sea bird. Pasta was perfectly cooked into mush.

 

Start again!


Edited by liuzhou (log)
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This is only tangentially culinary, but...

I will never again, while loading my purchases at Costco (that's the food-related part) bounce the freakin' liftgate off the corner of my head while trying to close it.

...actually that's probably not true. I've owned the van for three months now, and I'm a bit surprised this is the first time it has happened.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, chromedome said:

This is only tangentially culinary, but...

I will never again, while loading my purchases at Costco (that's the food-related part) bounce the freakin' liftgate off the corner of my head while trying to close it.

 

 

Your head has corners?  How unusual.

Ah well...since it is chrome after all, I suppose that is possible.


Edited by lindag (log)
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I can tell you, it had one *very* pronounced corner for a few hours after that particular incident.

 

I do indeed have a rather magnificent dome (aka a big head) and because my eyes are somewhat deep-set, I have poor peripheral vision to the above/front. I'm forever banging my head on things. Thank goodness I'm only 5'7", or I shudder to think what a band of calluses I'd have across my forehead.

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...fail to completely turn off the tap to the laundry room sink, thus overflowing the SV bucket in which today's pork steaks were burbling away, thus spilling into said sink, whose stopper somehow magically had defaulted to the closed position, and thus have to sop up water and mop the laundry room floor at 3 a.m. 

 

It has not been an auspicious day, though the pork steaks did not suffer. I did. Still am. 

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I shall never again injure my wrist wrestling with a pizza steel.  Tomorrow it becomes a bread steel.  Assuming I can get out of bed and lift it.  The wrist may be sprained.  I am applying ice.  Systemically.

 

And while I am at it, I shall never again leave the lime juice out of my evening mai tai.

 

 

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I will never again neglect to make sure that my thermometer is set for Fahrenheit rather than Celsius, avoiding the resulting hockey puck pork chops. 

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26 minutes ago, Kim Shook said:

I will never again neglect to make sure that my thermometer is set for Fahrenheit rather than Celsius, avoiding the resulting hockey puck pork chops. 

Dare I laugh?  No meanness meant...but time will lend it a certain humor.  ...I hope...

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12 hours ago, Darienne said:

Dare I laugh?  No meanness meant...but time will lend it a certain humor.  ...I hope...

Please do.  Alas, I cannot - at least out loud as it was Mr. Kim's effort.  He brought the recipe home from a friend at work who loves to cook.  He smokes, so he knows how to use the thermometer, too, but I wish I'd checked.  Of course, in trying to help him figure out why the hell the chops wouldn't cook, I ended up overcooking the cauliflower and burning the snow peas.  Sheesh.  We ended up eating at Waffle House at 10pm.  

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10 hours ago, Kim Shook said:

Please do.  Alas, I cannot - at least out loud as it was Mr. Kim's effort.  He brought the recipe home from a friend at work who loves to cook.  He smokes, so he knows how to use the thermometer, too, but I wish I'd checked.  Of course, in trying to help him figure out why the hell the chops wouldn't cook, I ended up overcooking the cauliflower and burning the snow peas.  Sheesh.  We ended up eating at Waffle House at 10pm.  

Now that really makes a funny story.  First laugh of the morning for me.

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I will never again step off the second rung of a utility stool without first checking that I am standing on a stool and not on the floor.  And especially not when holding a jar of PC "Memories of Seoul" sauce.

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I will never again be 'nice' and add 50% more glacè cherries (by weight) to a cake formula!

 

Yes, I rinsed them and dried them then coated them in a little flour. They apparently exude sugar/syrup when cooked making the center of the cake a syrupy mess that never really firms up! I baked it in a tube pan, so I now have a 'tunnel of oversweet chunky cherry cake-batter goo' cake.

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I shall never again spill my wild rice on the floor.  Unlike with my pork chop the other night, five second rule does not apply.

 

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And while we are on the subject, at 450F the steam vents of the CSO get rather warm.  Ask how my knuckles know this.

 

 

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I shall never again put the lid on my Instant Pot, set it to manual high for 45 minutes and leave the kitchen without making sure the sealing ring is in the lid.

 

A day later, (today) I promised myself that I would never again attempt to empty a 10 lb. bag of bread flour into the flour container, which was sitting on the edge of the counter, without making sure I had not inadvertently poked a BIG hole in the bag.

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16 minutes ago, ElsieD said:

I shall never again put the lid on my Instant Pot, set it to manual high for 45 minutes and leave the kitchen without making sure the sealing ring is in the lid.

 

A day later, (today) I promised myself that I would never again attempt to empty a 10 lb. bag of bread flour into the flour container, which was sitting on the edge of the counter, without making sure I had not inadvertently poked a BIG hole in the bag.

 

I hope you have a Roomba.

 

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Marshmallows in the toaster oven and I was just going to walk back inside for a sec (oven in garage)  TWICE I set them on fire. When I stayed there they were great but the smell!!!!

Even the night crittrs won't eat them - tossed 'em into the grrat beyond.

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12 hours ago, JoNorvelleWalker said:

 

I hope you have a Roomba.

 

 

No, but I do have a hand held vacuum that I keep in the kitchen for just such an emergency.🙄

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