Jump to content
  • Welcome to the eG Forums, a service of the eGullet Society for Culinary Arts & Letters. The Society is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of the culinary arts. These advertising-free forums are provided free of charge through donations from Society members. Anyone may read the forums, but to post you must create a free account.

Sign in to follow this  
Rebecca263

I will never again . . . (Part 3)

Recommended Posts

:sad: Moka!!! I know that scent---I smelled it years ago, related WAY upthread about the knife-handle on the dishwasher element, back during Desert Storm.

not sure if someone has posted this one, putting dishwashing detergent in the dishwasher and ending up with overflowing foam coming out the sides of the dishwasher, then spending an hour scooping the foam out and pouring cold water on the foam.  haha.

It was like an "I Love Lucy" episode. We stared, dazed and confused, at the suds rising halfway up the lower cabinets. Then someone turned off the dishwasher and we laughed 'till our sides hurt.

I'd forgotten the "clean the dishwasher with TANG" fad that went around some time back. Someone like Heloise was responsible for that one, I think, or one of her avid readers---then it grew and grew. And probably worked; I don't know.

But one neighbor, who did not buy or drink Tang, picked up a jar in the store, read the label, had a very dim lightbulb moment, and put back the jar. She had seen that the ingredients were very similar to those of KoolAid, of which she had an abundance.

No lemonade or pink lemonade or watermelon for her lusty brood, oh, no. They didn't drink those sissy flavors. Only strawberry and cherry for them. And what a pack of cherry KoolAid and a scalding water cycle can do to the elderly plastic insides of a dishwater is almost unbelievable. Like an autopsy on a Cyborg.

But I dared not laugh til I got home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
No lemonade or pink lemonade or watermelon for her lusty brood, oh, no.  They didn't drink those sissy flavors.  Only strawberry and cherry for them.  And what a pack of cherry KoolAid and a scalding water cycle can do to the elderly plastic insides of a dishwater is almost unbelievable.  Like an autopsy on a Cyborg.

But I dared not laugh til I got home.

Remind me to try this before I replace my current dishwasher.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will never again wear long, big sleeves while cooking on the stove, only to have them catch on fire because I wasn't paying attention. :blush:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Never trust anyone who is unfamiliar with your various gadgets to use them ONLY as they are intended to be used.

A friend stopped by a little while ago with her new "significant other" who happens to be a smoker. He was banished to the patio to have a cigarette and apparently thought the propane lighter would work fine as a cigarette lighter.

We heard a yell and looked outside to see the idiot stamping on his burning baseball cap (ex-Navy guy type) which he had ignited when the 5-inch flame shot out of the tube of the lighter.

He also lost part of his left eyebrow but apparently has no burns. They departed with him still grumbling about losing his cap which for some reason he has decided is MY fault....

I guess I will have to lock up stuff just as I did when the kids were small and couldn't be trusted to stay away from things they shouldn't touch!


Edited by andiesenji (log)

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

My blog:Books,Cooks,Gadgets&Gardening

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stack an assortment of pots pans and lids on a back burner so you can heat up yet another can of soup during Flu '08 and have the lid to a big Le Cruset fall off the stack - chip your new stove in 3 places - and break the handle off the lid

Waaaaahhhhhh

and I hate canned soup

tracey


The great thing about barbeque is that when you get hungry 3 hours later....you can lick your fingers

Maxine

Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

"It is the government's fault, they've eaten everything."

My Webpage

garden state motorcyle association

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Stack an assortment of pots pans and lids on a back burner so you can heat up yet another can of soup during Flu '08 and have the lid to a big Le Cruset fall off the stack - chip your new stove in 3 places - and break the handle off the lid

Waaaaahhhhhh

and I hate canned soup

tracey

Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

I'm crying along with you on that one! Your poor new stove! I love that stove!! I covet that stove!

Well, just like with a new car, at least you can let loose with it now. Once the first dent is there, a few more won't matter! And if nothing else, you can sell the stove to me (at the used price, of course), and buy yourself another pristine one. One of us would sure be happy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Use a cheap plastic spatula in a screaming-hot pan. The pan's fine; the spatula's a _lot_ shorter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

set the bowl, with the rising bread dough, on the burner that happens to be the vent, for the preheating oven, that was no longer needed to bake the bread, that was in the bowl, placed upon the hot vent.

It was well risen, and had a nice, if a little pale crust. I'm just glad I didn't use the plastic bowl......but there is always next time!

And next time, I will pay more attention when working at removing those last, tenacious bits of silver skin, from the tenderloin, for the Pork Wellington, with that sharp little utility knife. :blink:


"It's like Betty Crocker and Charles Manson had a love child" - Anthony Bourdain

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...never leave a pot of mung beans simmering on the stove while reading eGullet. I had to rescue my beans but throw away my pot because the bottom was ruined. My mung bean soup has a nice smoky flavor now.


Doddie aka Domestic Goddess

"Nobody loves pork more than a Filipino"

eGFoodblog: Adobo and Fried Chicken in Korea

The dark side... my own blog: A Box of Jalapenos

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was learning, I was roasting a chicken. I was wearing shorts. I slid the rack out and dumped a can of chicken broth on the bird. For some reason the Pyrex (maybe it wasn't) dish pretty much exploded, showering my bare legs and the rest of the kitchen with hot glass. Luckily it didn't come up into my face.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Run out of dog food, decide to treat the dog, dump a few frozen chicken hearts and livers into an open saucepan with just enough water to cover, answer the phone and walk into another room.............start to think I forgot to turn the broiler off lunch cooking cuz I kinda smell something, keep thinking that and then walk back into the kitchen (open to the living room and with high ceiling) to a smoke filled space with the worst smell. Ran the pot outside. It went in the trash bin after cooling down. The house a day later still has a charred to a crisp liver smell despite using all kinds of tips to save our noses. The dog was NOT pleased.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Use a cheap plastic spatula in a screaming-hot pan. The pan's fine; the spatula's a _lot_ shorter.

I've done this multiple times; I called it a good excuse to replace them with silicone versions.

Another variation: scraping down a (running) blender with a wooden spoon, thinking I knew how far down the blade was.

For some reason the Pyrex (maybe it wasn't) dish pretty much exploded, showering my bare legs and the rest of the kitchen with hot glass.  Luckily it didn't come up into my face.

This happened to me as well in the other direction of the temperature gradient: rinsing out a hot Pyrex dish in cold water. I could feel it pulling apart in my hand in the instant before it shattered. No cuts, just surprise! (And those fragments fly an awfully long way.)


David aka "DCP"

Amateur protein denaturer, Maillard reaction experimenter, & gourmand-at-large

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another variation:  scraping down a (running) blender with a wooden spoon, thinking I knew how far down the blade was.

Klutz that I am, this sounds like a death wish. :shock:

Extra fibre tonight! :laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Another variation:  scraping down a (running) blender with a wooden spoon, thinking I knew how far down the blade was.
Klutz that I am, this sounds like a death wish. :shock:

Extra fibre tonight! :laugh:

I wasn't going to mention it, but having been prompted... after picking out the big chunk that appeared to be the sum of the damage, I tried the drink: chewy with blunt splinters. The broken chunk had such clean edges, too.

Perhaps that aging memory is part of why I now so often gravitate to the immersion blender.


David aka "DCP"

Amateur protein denaturer, Maillard reaction experimenter, & gourmand-at-large

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wasn't going to mention it, but having been prompted... after picking out the big chunk that appeared to be the sum of the damage, I tried the drink:  chewy with blunt splinters. 

Good Gawd, that's hysterical. In my entire life, I've never hear of a drink described as chewy ! Never. Not once.

I'll be howling with laughter for days.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The thread that won't die...

because people like me lick cake batter from the beaters of the electric hand mixer...with one thumb still on the "on" button...did you know that you can't get stitches in your tongue? Neither did I until it was too late.

(FWIW, this incident happened years ago and, surprisingly, I've not suffered a permanent speech impediment.)

On a lighter note, I will never again keep the tinned catfood in the same cabinet as the tinned tuna. :blink:


Let the others eat cake; I want pie!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On a lighter note, I will never again keep the tinned catfood in the same cabinet as the tinned tuna.  :blink:

You... didn't actually mix it up and eat it without noticing, did you?


David aka "DCP"

Amateur protein denaturer, Maillard reaction experimenter, & gourmand-at-large

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe they fed the tuna to the cat... :unsure:


Kate

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will never again...... lick a wooden spoon coated in hot boiling caramel in order to check if it tastes ready.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I will never again...... lick a wooden spoon coated in hot boiling caramel in order to check if it tastes ready.

Ouch, I know that hurt!

On that note, I will never again run my finger through the roux left on the wooden spoon to see how it tastes when it's closed to being done.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
...slice jalapenos and THEN decide to put in my contact lenses.

And, for the love of gawd, don't slice habaneros, then go to the bathroom!

and never, ever have sex after handling very, very hot peppers


____________________________________________

Umami-Madrid

New Cooking Techniques & Asian Ingredients - In Spanish

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Am I the only one who, roasting vegetables at 450 degrees, always opens the oven and immediately sticks my head way down to see how things are going? My mascara instantly melts forming my eyelashes into 4 distinct little clumps, my eyeballs dry up and threaten to melt down my face and my skin turns red and itchy. This happens every single time I roast something. :wacko:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Am I the only one who, roasting vegetables at 450 degrees, always opens the oven and immediately sticks my head way down to see how things are going?  My mascara instantly melts forming my eyelashes into 4 distinct little clumps, my eyeballs dry up and threaten to melt down my face and my skin turns red and itchy.  This happens every single time I roast something.  :wacko:

Honey, I ditched the mascara years ago. The rest is temporary.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

was preparing various Thai last dishes last night and wondered why I got a :shock: look from my friend when I stuck my head in the sauce cupboard muttering, 'I was sure I had a huge cock in here.'.....alas no fish sauce.... or anything else for that matter. Took a while to realise what I'd said... :smile:


Edited by insomniac (log)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...