I will never again . . . (Part 3)

[avibenshi]

Chop hot chilly holding it with my bare hands and than try to take something out of my eye

[brandonscott]

In my first kitchen, after breaking down a few sirloins previously, I grabbed some more from the walk-in and thought to myself how cool it was that somebody else had removed most of the fat and trimmed them up a little. I portioned them out and thought there was something odd, but didnt want to seem like a dumb-ass by asking a question. About half-way through service the first one came back...the chef was pissed. Apparently my sirloins were really shortrib (minus the actual ribs). How 5 or 6 orders of tough sirloin cooked shortrib a) got past the chef and b) was actually consumed by a few customers, is anybodys guess.

[sazji]

Since we're all talking about special uses of salt...I had been in Greece for a week and always bring back some Turkish coffee from a really famous old place in Komotini for friends here. I stopped into a restaurant owned by a friend to drop off some, and they were on lunch break and asked if I would make some of the coffee for them. Why not? Plain, medium or sweet? Medium. I set a cup out for one of the cooks, who came and took a sip...then doubled over with his hand over his mouth...I don't have to tell why now do I?

[prasantrin]

Since we're all talking about special uses of salt...I had been in Greece for a week and always bring back some Turkish coffee from a really famous old place in Komotini for friends here. I stopped into a restaurant owned by a friend to drop off some, and they were on lunch break and asked if I would make some of the coffee for them. Why not? Plain, medium or sweet? Medium. I set a cup out for one of the cooks, who came and took a sip...then doubled over with his hand over his mouth...I don't have to tell why now do I?

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Oops.

Well, next time tell them it could have been worse. You could have put in MSG!

I'm guessing they never let you make coffee again. . .

[bearbones11]

Having lurked for a while, this thread has made me feel right at home. I think I've made most of the usual mistakes, more than once - the universal take the pan out of the oven (using mitt), place on stove, grab handle of pan (no mitt). The stock/pasta, etc. down the drain.

A couple of more me-specific ones - separate 6 eggs for challah and throw out the yolks (in my defense, I make a LOT of egg wash).

Lean over the skillet of reducing red wine - and get a REALLY close look as it spits right in my eye. Then get lectured by the wife on use of foul language in front of the kid. Real sympathetic, my wife.

Leave a non-stick skillet for a couple of days at my grandmother's house. Why, when she uses a wooden spoon for everything else, does she use metal this time? I made it a gift to her.

Oh, and I remember someone posting about cranberry covered UGG boots - I will never again wear suede John Lobb boots while smoking ribs. Thank g-d they were dark - but soy sauce and pork fat will permanently alter the nap.

I'm sure I've got plenty more, but this is enough self-abasement for a first post.

[Darienne]

Just found this thread and laughed my way through several pages. Just what I needed.

What about making hard tack lollipops and adding the flavoring to the just cooling sugar syrup and then bending over the pot to smell the flavoring...although you are not supposed to...and choking horribly over the peppermint or apple spice or whatever flavor as it blasts up your nose and makes your eyes water copiously? And what about doing it more than 3 times? Or 5 times? Because you can't learn not to sniff food?

[Lilija]

...look over my shoulder, chatting, while rapidly slicing carrots on a mandolin (do I even need to add this? Without the hand guard, of course).

I have a quarter inch thick slice missing from the side and pad of my thumb. I also had to throw the carrots out.

[localherbavore]

Volunteer to wash someone else's knives.

I was in culinary school and had been cleaning up, my tools always last in fresh water, someone asked if I could wash their knife (I had just sharpened it for them too) I said yeah, hands still in the warm water (nice and soft hands now) they litterally tossed the 8" Henkles into the sink.... you could hear it ride the bone on my index finger. The color of the water was a really pretty pink instantly. No insurance, so superglue and butterflys... cool scar too.

[Jon Savage]

Volunteer to wash someone else's knives.

I was in culinary school and had been cleaning up, my tools always last in fresh water, someone asked if I could wash their knife (I had just sharpened it for them too) I said yeah, hands still in the warm water (nice and soft hands now) they litterally tossed the 8" Henkles into the sink.... you could hear it ride the bone on my index finger. The color of the water was a really pretty pink instantly.  No insurance, so superglue and butterflys... cool scar too.

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Painful on so many levels.

[valervalerie]

I was making chocolate cups to hold sorbet for a dinner party we were having. You know, you get a balloon, dip in in chocolate, let it harden and then break the balloon. Voila you have a great chocolate cup. Well, just before the guests arrived I was making them. However, I had not let the chocolate cool enough. The hot chocolate burst the balloon. Chocolate was everywhere, on my face, clothing and the walls. The really sad thing is that I did it again and again.

[Kerry Beal]

I was making chocolate cups to hold sorbet for a dinner party we were having.  You know, you get a balloon, dip in in chocolate, let it harden and then break the balloon.  Voila you have a great chocolate cup.  Well, just before the guests arrived I was making them.  However, I had not let the chocolate cool enough.  The hot chocolate burst the balloon.  Chocolate was everywhere, on my face, clothing and the walls.  The really sad thing is that I did it again and again.

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Welcome Valerie. I can just picture this! How warm was the chocolate you were using?

[Darienne]

I was making chocolate cups to hold sorbet for a dinner party we were having.  You know, you get a balloon, dip in in chocolate, let it harden and then break the balloon.  Voila you have a great chocolate cup.  Well, just before the guests arrived I was making them.  However, I had not let the chocolate cool enough.  The hot chocolate burst the balloon.  Chocolate was everywhere, on my face, clothing and the walls.  The really sad thing is that I did it again and again.

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Well, hello Valerie, I didn't realize that this was your very first post until I read Kerry's reply. Welcome to the most amazing forum that I have ever come across!!

[Beebs]

This was sometime ago.... Finished making drinks, tossed a shot glass into the sink with a garburator installed in it to be washed later, forget about said shot glass, forget that shot glasses are cylindrical and have a tendency to roll, turn on garburator a couple hours later.....

Yup. Not much fun sticking a hand into a garburator to clean out bits of glass (I did, however, remember to cut the power to it). Also completely fried the garburator.

[Aloha Steve]

Gulp, Newbie Mistake not #101 but number 002

Yesterday I made fried chicken in my new pre-seasoned cast iron skillet. (Did this because of reading posts here)

I was not sure if the Crisco (Are Jewish people supposed to use this stuff? ) was hot as the burner was only on a short while and I saw no movement in the liquid. There was a white spot on the cooking surface of the pan and I was worried it was a result of mistakenly washing it with a little soap (before I read the posts here) and I......YUP, stuck my pointer finger in the pan to see if I could rub in the Crisco. OUCH......

I won't do that again*

*for at lest a year

Edited July 30, 2009 by Aloha Steve (log)

[andiesenji]

This was sometime ago.... Finished making drinks, tossed a shot glass into the sink with a garburator installed in it to be washed later, forget about said shot glass, forget that shot glasses are cylindrical and have a tendency to roll, turn on garburator a couple hours later..... 

Yup.  Not much fun sticking a hand into a garburator to clean out bits of glass (I did, however, remember to cut the power to it).  Also completely fried the garburator. 

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For future reference. Keep a package or two of the "blue putty" stuff used to stick up posters and such.

Wad it into a ball, knead it until it is soft then make a flat "patty" - stick this down onto the broken glass - it should pick up most, if not all of it.

I have used this method to remove broken glass chunks and shards from a regular garbage disposer.

I have also used the stuff called "museum putty" but it is more expensive.

[ThisRedhead]

I will never again turn on the oven, turn on the stove, set the baking sheet down on top of the stove, go to grab something from the freezer, get distracted by the cat, go to the bathroom, come back, and pick up the baking sheet... barehanded. Ow.

[Darienne]

I will never again turn on the oven, turn on the stove, set the baking sheet down on top of the stove, go to grab something from the freezer, get distracted by the cat, go to the bathroom, come back, and pick up the baking sheet... barehanded. Ow.

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That darned cat!!! It's the cat's fault.

Welcome to eGullet, This Redhead.

[David A. Goldfarb]

I will never again turn the KitchenAid up to "10" instead of down to "Off" with two layers worth of chocolate cake batter in the bowl.

[ElisG]

I will never whisk a custard in a sink to make sure it doesn't splash over the bowl onto the worktop, then wash my hands afterwards before removing the custard.

[Darienne]

I will never again cook a sugar syrup mistaking the Fahrenheit numbers for the Celsius, that is I was trying to reach 230 on the Celsius scale instead of realizing I needed that heat on Fahrenheit. Burnt the daylights out of the syrup before I came to.

[sparrowgrass]

Andie--I bet that kid's plasticine clay or PlayDough would pick up glass shards, too, and would be cheaper.

[annabelle]

Cans of whack-a-biscuit were made for such emergencies.

[Anna N]

Try to dry my box grater in the toaster oven.

[rooftop1000]

Try to dry my box grater in the toaster oven.

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That looks like when I tryed to use my insant read thermometer in the oven

T

[Darienne]

I just did it. Ten minutes ago. The first ever time I have used a spring-form pan and I am making a wonderful Raspberry Cream Cheese Coffee Cake, a recipe given to me this morning by a generous eGulleter on another thread.

I am taking my time. Reading carefully. No mistakes made.

AND I go to put the cake in the oven and NOOOOOOO!!!!!! the clip on the spring-form pan...which I had carefully checked...suddenly slips and the cake falls through the collar and I am undone!

I managed to save much of it and it's in the oven baking right now but gone are my dreams of finally having a photo of my very own to post. Pride 'wenteth' before my fall.