I will never again . . . (Part 2)

[Kevin72]

Your story reminds me of when I used to work at a buffet back in highschool. It was a busy weekend, and we were short staffed in the kitchen. Our GM was not the most well liked guy to say the least. He was trying to help us out (he rarely helped in the kitchen) at the deep fryer . . .

Guess he didn't help much in the kitchen after this incident, either, did he?

Frying in fat scares me but I just keep coming back to it . . .

[Chef Shogun]

Pretty generic burn story, but funny because of the sheer idiocy involved.

I had a perfect Calphalon-handle-shaped burn on my palm from grabbing the pan from the oven without a towel or mitt, so you'd think I'd have learned my lesson.

So I'm cooking a nice steak and put it in the oven to finish. I'm still getting my steak-timing down, so I have to do a lot of checking to satisfy myself tha tthe steak is indeed making progress. I'm being VERY consious of my need to not mutilate my hand any further, so I do a few cycles of "Get towel, pull pan out, poke steak, think for a minute, put steak back". Fine, no problem. Open oven, get towel, pull pan out, test. Open oven, get towle, pull pan out, test. Getting there. Open oven, pull pan out AAHH, DAMN it!! Jeeze....alright, steak is done, at least. If I remember correctly, I probably caved and sliced it open. Put on stove. Throw in garlic, shallots. Take towel, jiggle pan a little. Open wine, deglaze. Take towel, jiggle pan. Wait a bit, jiggle pa- GRAAHHh!! SON OF A!!

.....came out well, though.

Edited for glaring grammatical error. Edited for content, and to run in the time alotted.

Edited July 9, 2004 by Chef Shogun (log)

[egator]

I will never again…

(and cut me some slack, this was years ago)

…make a very large acidic greek salad for a tailgate party and put it in my boyfriend’s largest bowl at the time – a lovely copper number his mom bought him.

…pre-heat the fry-daddy with the plastic lid on (again, my boyfriend’s and again, football season – apparently drinking Crown & gingers out of plastic football stadium sized cups can get you wasted.)

…heat up butter for a casserole on the stove with my nice French, ceramic casserole dish (this time the dish was mine, but it was a gift from same boyfriend)

Yep. And he married me. Now that’s love.

[Carlovski]

Yesterday I was making some soup (Simple one with tomato, onions,smoked bacon, stock, thickend with a bit of rice) while talking to my housemate, and wasn't paying attention when I pored in some rice. Put in about 3 times (At least

!) too much. Didn't realise quite how much until it expanded.....

My soup basically turned into a bad risotto.

I did eat some in the end, and it wasn't that bad, but must remember to concentrate!

[KatieM]

This thread is hilarious! I just read the entire thing (seriously avoiding work today), and the bursts of laughter coming from my cubicle are making my coworkers begin to think that I am crazy!

Ok, here's my confession: I will never again try to impress a boyfriend with my culinary skills (after bragging for months about them) by cooking dinner while wearing a little pink apron, stilettos, and ahem, well . . . nothing else.

Besides obvious dangers of cooking while wearing inappropriate clothing (or lack thereof), you should also be aware that cooking this way also makes for a very impatient, and quite distracted diner. Finally, I decide that the chicken has to come out, we have to eat. Can't find thermometer, in a hurry, chicken is brown, must be done. Umm, pink chicken meat, anyone? At least everything else was good. Used the chicken for stock, so it wasn't a complete waste. But still. Not a brilliant plan.

Ok, going to hide head in the sand, now. Can't believe I'm actually posting this. Must have had too many Diet Cokes today!

[Sleepy_Dragon]

1) Pour hot pea and potato soup into a blender to puree, and mess up everything while burning myself because I didn't put the stupid lid on!

2) Clean up this mess, then attempt to find the correct lid, see that there is none (I'm in culinary school, this happens a lot...) and decide this round flat aluminum mini pizza pan should work ok if I hold it down hard enough. It didn't, more soup went all over the place anyway, and I couldn't hold the pan down because it got too hot.

3) Clean up the mess a second time, then when almost done, accidentally hit the on switch on the blender and *blat!* again all over the work area.

Yes, three times cleaning up the table with all of our blenders and robocoups, removing soup, pea and potato bits from everywhere. Somedays I wonder how I manage to leave my home without both legs stuffed down one side of my checks.

Pat

[Mabelline]

KatieM, we live through posts like that! If nothing else, you should've by now figured we are closet maniacs for stupid cook tricks done by real, original cookers.

[viva]

…heat up butter for a casserole on the stove with my nice French, ceramic casserole dish...

Yep. My logic was that the casserole dish could withstand the heat of the oven, so why not the stove top? And that's when I learned the very important distinction between direct and indirect heat. Crrrrraaaaaackkkkk. There went my largest pretty french ceramic casserole dish.

[McDuff]

Leave my digital probe thermometer out in the rain.

"Soak" the probe tip of a digital thermometer in water to get rid of some caked on food. If any water goes above the end of the probe towards the wire, it's curtains.

I'm currently on my fourth digital probe thermometer in 2 years. How does Alton do it?

Leave an instant read thermometer in 80 lb of sourdough, and then proceed to mix it rather vigorously for 10 minutes in an 80 qt mixer.

Use a brand new digital probe thermometer to test the temperature of the brine in an ice cream machine. It read 13 degrees before it fizzled out. And I don't know why, but it's still in the drawer in the kitchen, along with several crappy timers, as if it's going to come back to life.

[Kevin72]

Leave my digital probe thermometer out in the rain.

"Soak" the probe tip of a digital thermometer in water to get rid of some caked on food.  If any water goes above the end of the probe towards the wire, it's curtains.

I'm currently on my fourth digital probe thermometer in 2 years.  How does Alton do it?

Leave an instant read thermometer in 80 lb of sourdough, and then proceed to mix it rather vigorously for 10 minutes in an 80 qt mixer.

Use a brand new digital probe thermometer to test the temperature of the brine in an ice cream machine. It read 13 degrees before it fizzled out. And I don't know why, but it's still in the drawer in the kitchen, along with several crappy timers, as if it's going to come back to life.

Cool, I've found a new way to ruin the next one. I'll be taking the temp of my bread dough from now on!

I have a collection of bases in my drawer, too. Under the mental rationale of "Hey, the timer still works, right?"

Finally, I had the probe of my newest thermometer get completely submerged in oil while I was frying (going all the way up to the wire) but miracle of miracles it's still ticking!

[GG Mora]

And I don't know why, but it's still in the drawer in the kitchen, along with several crappy timers, as if it's going to come back to life.

Well....that used to work for cheap watches, back in the Dark Ages before battery-operated. Timex not working? Toss it in a drawer somewhere. Come across it a few years later and, Voila!, it works just fine.

[TJHarris]

REALLY BAD! Many years ago, I was working in a small casual dining restuarant. I turned around on the line after closing time and started walking when I realized that one of the other cooks was draining the deep fryer and I had just stepped in a pot of 350 F oil. Peeled my shoe and sock off so fast and submerged that foot in a bucket of ice.

Luckily no long term ill-effects.

[peppyre]

One that didn't happen to me but my Grandma: A very lare family gathering at Christmas, after dinner, mom, grandma and I were in the kitchen doing dishes, while everyone else was enjoying the large platters of sweets. The usual suspects, cherry squares, date squares, shortbread, Nanaimo Bars etc. My mom and I start hearing all this loud crunching. Not just someone crunching on say peanuts, but very loud, teeth breaking crunching. Thought it was odd, but went back to doing the dishes. At the end of the evening mom noticed that most of the nanaimo bars were still left on the platter, which NEVER happened. My grandma truly did make the best Nanaimo Bars. So, mom takes a bite and promptly spits it out. Turns out Grandma had mistaken the Minute Rice for Coconut. Still not sure how she did it.

I will never again:

Use my very large French pan in the oven and forget that the handle is steel, very long, and is at just the right angle to lay perfectly flat against the soft skin of my inner arm. Didn't burn my hand though, I did remember the potholder.

[klc14]

Do you still ice the burn, or just put lavender oil on it? Is it actually oily? Or, is it used afterwards to help heal the skin/scar?

Its an essential oil, lavender oil, and you can ice for a few minutes and then douse directly with the oil. Here's a link that explains more about lavender: Camden-Grey. Scroll down until you get to lavender.

I also use aloe vera directly from the plant, but the lavender seems to take the "ouch" out quicker, and the healing/scaring is better. (I've gotten some doozy burns on my hands over the years...haven't we all??). Please, PM if you want some more info.

Regards!

A long time ago I read that if you run water over a burn as hot as you can stand it and then start turning up the cold water the skin won't blister. I have saved my self a LOT of blisters with this. Something to do with not chilling it down right away. I don't think this would have been easy for the poster who stepped into 350 degree cooking oil. But it works for hands.

As hot as you can stand it = i usually ran the hot tap till it gets its hottest, stuck my hand under the stream till I felt the temperature and the water. (There was usually a couple nanoseconds while the burned part adjusted to the water), then started adjusting slowly right away, turning on the cold to make the water just hottish, so you don't burn the good skin, then turning down the hot till it was just about skin temp. Then the burn ointment just in case--I used the painkiller kind. The pain was less too, and I didn't get a blister that might pop and get infected. Fortunately I usually only burned one hand or forearm at a time so I had a free hand for treatment.

However, I think the lavender oil is a pretty remedy. I don't really hope I have an opportunity to test soon....

[RSincere]

Now I did it!

I have a big chest freezer in the garage where I keep my meat. I am only 4'11" so I can't reach to the bottom of the freezer. So I keep the meat in plastic bags with the handles up so I can reach them and pull out what I need.

Yesterday I had to go digging in the freezer to get out the ground turkey breast. I pulled out a bunch of bags. Yeah, you guessed it, tonight I went out there and realized I left a bag out in the hot garage. Was it the soup bones? No. Was it the bag with only 8 chicken drumsticks? NO.

FOUR pounds of ground chuck (bought fresh at full price), 3 3/4 pounds of round steak (reduced), 2 pounds of veal shoulder (reduced). Twenty bucks worth of meat. Now not only are we going to be eating chicken until kingdom come, but my husband doesn't even like chicken, so I serve beef in between to make him happy--so he's going to be crabby for the next couple weeks. Grrrrrrrr. I am so upset about this I'm going to bed early!

[intraining]

I once roasted a chicken forgetting to pluck it first...

Now I've read it all. How in the world did that happen? Did you just come from laser surgery? Wait even if you did couldn't you feel the feathers. You don't have a cat do you?

absolutely brilliant

i'm cracking up,

i just remembered gathering some chestnuts and putting them in the oven getting all excited from the smells then BANG, not a chestnut in sight, just pure mess in the oven.

[TJHarris]

touch my (Down there) after working with habanero peppers... They say you should wash your hands after you use the restroom, I strongly advise a good washing before, as well...

Gloves, dude. Gloves.

Have to admit to this one two. The FOH staff thought it quite amusing to watch me spray the cold spray and aloe down the front of my pants. " Peter Piper Peppered his Pecker" is what the said. Called me Peter for nearly a month.

[snowangel]

Why do I alway stand in the bathroom taking out my contact lenses going "I've just chopped up a mess of bird chiles and shouldn't be doing this" yet I do it?

Sort of like that permanent burm blister on the top side of my right hand from hitting it on the top rack (which is never used) in my oven when retrieving a pan?)

[NeroW]

Our Exec Sous was sanitizing his station after service one night and without looking he stuck his hand in the sanitizer bucket (which was actually dirty fryer oil that the broiler cook had set down next to his sanitizer bucket).

He also had no longterm ill effects.

Personally, I will never again grab a red hot ladle to stir a sauce, and then try to rip it off my hand when it sticks to my thumb and index finger. That one took a few weeks to blister up.

I have found that egg whites work well on burns. At least it cushions them from the heat somewhat.

[arielle]

I do solemnly declare that I will never again use the 8-inch Global when I'm distracted (usually talking to my husband!) or when I'm wasted. I forget to hold whatever it is I'm chopping properly, and have now taken out my index and middle fingers of the left hand SOOOOO many times that I have next to no fingerprint left!!!!!

That's why I love the kitchen!!!

My husband knows about the splattering oil thing: he had to bandage his hand for two weeks thanks to duck fat that flew (pun intended) out of a pan and onto his hand. I have never seen blisters like he had!

[hillvalley]

After filling my olive oil bottle (thank goodness with Trader Joe's and not something better) I stuck the top back in.

Upside down

I had to struggle a bit to get it all the way in

It will be stuck like that forever (or until it breaks in the landfill )

Bought a new bottle last week and this time paid attention when I put the top on.

[markk]

. . . forget I put that bottle of wine in the freezer . . .

←

Whenever, and I mean absolutely whenever - I put a bottle of wine in the freezer to chill, or a pot of liquid on the stove to boil, and leave the kitchen... I set the oven timer! I have a digital timer thankfully with a beep that would wake the dead, and it saves my wine (and my kitchen) on an almost daily basis!

Straining the stock down the sink... wonderful !!! I'm jealous.

[Chris Amirault]

Ok, here's my confession: I will never again try to impress a boyfriend with my culinary skills (after bragging for months about them)  by cooking dinner while wearing a little pink apron, stilettos, and ahem, well . . . nothing else.

←

Surely you might have recorded this event for... er... posterity. Isn't this what imageGullet is for?

Or does "food porn" mean something else??

[maggiethecat]

Now I did it!

I have a big chest freezer in the garage where I keep my meat.  I am only 4'11" so I can't reach to the bottom of the freezer.  So I keep the meat in plastic bags with the handles up so I can reach them and pull out what I need.

Yesterday I had to go digging in the freezer to get out the ground turkey breast.  I pulled out a bunch of bags.  Yeah, you guessed it, tonight I went out there and realized I left a bag out in the hot garage.  Was it the soup bones?  No.  Was it the bag with only 8 chicken drumsticks?  NO.

FOUR pounds of ground chuck (bought fresh at full price), 3 3/4 pounds of round steak (reduced), 2 pounds of veal shoulder (reduced).  Twenty bucks worth of meat.  Now not only are we going to be eating chicken until kingdom come, but my husband doesn't even like chicken, so I serve beef in between to make him happy--so he's going to be crabby for the next couple weeks.  Grrrrrrrr.  I am so upset about this I'm going to bed early!

←

That really, truly totally, er, stinks. Two pounds of veal shoulder! Go to bed early, but my advice is that you suggest dinners out. If he's like most husbands I know, he'll be resigned to chicken sooner than a dinner tab.

[chromedome]

I added one to my scores of souvenirs last night. Reached absentmindedly into the lowboy for a brulee, and stuck my finger right into the fan.

Don't think I'll be doing that again, anytime soon.