Jump to content
  • Welcome to the eG Forums, a service of the eGullet Society for Culinary Arts & Letters. The Society is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of the culinary arts. These advertising-free forums are provided free of charge through donations from Society members. Anyone may read the forums, but to post you must create a free account.

I will never again . . . (Part 2)


Recommended Posts

I don't think I've posted this yet...

I had (note : HAD) an electric knife. I stupidly grabbed the blades (sharp side towards the palm) before pressing the "eject" button.

You can guess the rest.

I pushed the "on" button instead of the "eject".

Result: A trip to the ER for stitches.

I am so stupid, but it will never happen again (the knife is now in the hands of a "friend") Good Riddance!

"Anybody can make you enjoy the first bite of a dish, but only a real chef can make you enjoy the last.”

Francois Minot

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will never decide to strain the sauce from chicken with forty cloves of garlic (so that I can reduce it a little bit) into the sink instead of into a saucepan, all because I was talking instead of paying attention.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

attenpt to shave a small piece of prime rib with my very sharp serrated knife. who knew the pinky had that much fat. 8 stitches later the freezing is just now wearing off. worst part; it was one of my med studennts that sutured me. right, she's been on her ER rotation for 2 weeks and has sutured 4 people, give her the cut requires an assist. i finally just told her to pass me a glove and i assisted with my own freakin sutures.

the only positive, i didn't bleed on the prime rib

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How about...separate an egg, carefully passing the yolk back and forth between two eggshell halves, trying not to break it, as the white goes down the sink... and then remember that it was the white that you were after... :huh:

I can't tell how many times I've done this. Now I just do it over two bowls to ensure I'm keeping both.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This isn't quite a "... never again ..." moment, since I managed to stop myself from doing it. But it was a very, very close call...

I had just finished boiling some vegetables, that were to be pureed for a soup... I had poured the contents into a blender, and then went to plug the power cord in. To reach the outlet, I had to lean over the blender -- and so my face was just above the OPEN container filled with steaming hot liquids and vegetables... At the last moment, it occurred to me that maybe I should make sure that the blender isn't turned on, before I plug it in. Sure enough: it was... Man, that was a chilling moment -- I could really feel the heat and steam from the soup-to-be rising up at my face, realizing I was half a nanosecond away from exploding the whole mess right into my face...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How about...separate an egg, carefully passing the yolk back and forth between two eggshell halves, trying not to break it, as the white goes down the sink... and then remember that it was the white that you were after... :huh:

This one just cracked me up!!!!

"Anybody can make you enjoy the first bite of a dish, but only a real chef can make you enjoy the last.”

Francois Minot

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This isn't quite a "... never again ..." moment, since I managed to stop myself from doing it. But it was a very, very close call...

I had just finished boiling some vegetables, that were to be pureed for a soup... I had poured the contents into a blender, and then went to plug the power cord in. To reach the outlet, I had to lean over the blender -- and so my face was just above the OPEN container filled with steaming hot liquids and vegetables... At the last moment, it occurred to me that maybe I should make sure that the blender isn't turned on, before I plug it in. Sure enough: it was... Man, that was a chilling moment -- I could really feel the heat and steam from the soup-to-be rising up at my face, realizing I was half a nanosecond away from exploding the whole mess right into my face...

I'd say you dodged a bullet with your name it there Grub. Granted steaming liquids don't aways explode in the blender when you turn it on, but the ones that do really get your attention, and old Murphy(Murphy's law) was just waiting in the wings for you that time. That really could have been a life changing moment.

A island in a lake, on a island in a lake, is where my house would be if I won the lottery.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will never again freeze the leftovers of food that was left over because, well, nobody liked it.

Those neat plastic containers keep staring at you reproachfully every time you open the freezer, reminding you of your culinary failures.

It may seem wasteful to throw something away on the day that it was made, but freezing it, defrosting it 3 months later, discovering that you still don't want to eat it, and then throw it away, is just plain stupid :wacko:

Edited by Chufi (log)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Me, TOO!!!

Is there a one of us who hasn't stood there idiotically, head cocked, dismayed frown wrinkling our brows, both eyes on the drainhole, as SOMETHING we cooked or slaved for went gurgling down the sink?

grimace    pout :angry:

Yes. A similar one, that has often happened to me:

put a pan full of something hot in the sink to cool

turn the cold tap on, let the sink fill with cold water

leave the tap on, turn around, do something else

never think about that as the sink fills, the pan/bowl will start to float, always in the direction of the streaming water

next thing you know, your melted choclate/custard/soup/ reduced stock is nothing but flavored cold water.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will never again freeze the leftovers of food that was left over because, well, nobody liked it.

Those neat plastic containers keep staring at you reproachfully every time you open the freezer, reminding you of your culinary failures.

It may seem wasteful to throw something away on the day that it was made,  but freezing it, defrosting it 3 months later, discovering that you still don't want to eat it, and then throw it away, is just plain stupid  :wacko:

Amen to that. I've come to terms with the fact that my freezer winds up being a storage locker for stuff I didn't want anyway. However, there is a big advantage in tossing out a frozen lump of something instead of liquids and lumps. :wacko:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

However, there is a big advantage in tossing out a frozen lump of something instead of liquids and lumps.  :wacko:

yeah, but I can only do that on garbage-days (garbage is collected only twice a week here in Amsterdam), because the frozen lump of nasty beansoup slowly defrosting in my bin is not pretty :shock: (not to mention the smell...)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This isn't quite a "... never again ..." moment, since I managed to stop myself from doing it. But it was a very, very close call...

I had just finished boiling some vegetables, that were to be pureed for a soup... I had poured the contents into a blender, and then went to plug the power cord in. To reach the outlet, I had to lean over the blender -- and so my face was just above the OPEN container filled with steaming hot liquids and vegetables... At the last moment, it occurred to me that maybe I should make sure that the blender isn't turned on, before I plug it in. Sure enough: it was... Man, that was a chilling moment -- I could really feel the heat and steam from the soup-to-be rising up at my face, realizing I was half a nanosecond away from exploding the whole mess right into my face...

I'd say you dodged a bullet with your name it there Grub. Granted steaming liquids don't aways explode in the blender when you turn it on, but the ones that do really get your attention, and old Murphy(Murphy's law) was just waiting in the wings for you that time. That really could have been a life changing moment.

I have always managed to avoid doing that. However, I have suffered a steam burn several years ago (once was enough to teach the lesson) when I opened the doors of my newly installed steam injection oven to add another item. The oven has a very large fan in the back, for the convection feature, and this, combined with the pressure of the steam, produced a blast right into my face, neck and chest. Believe me, a T-shirt is no protection either - and I had just removed my heavy apron. As the doors open outward from the center, I did manage to shut them before they opened all the way but I ended up with a red streak, about 4 inches wide, on my face, front of my neck and down the middle of my chest. Fortunately I was wearing my glasses so my eyes were protected.

After that incident, I got a large red plastic E, made for signs, and that is hung on the door handles whenever anything requiring steam is placed in the oven.

I had a few blisters on my forehead and chin but the remainder of the burn felt like a very bad sunburn for several days. It could have been much worse.

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

.... because the frozen lump of nasty beansoup slowly defrosting in my bin is not pretty  :shock: (not to mention the smell...)

Oh CRAP, you just reminded me of the pot with about an inch of leftover beans sitting on the back of the counter that I forgot about....last week...... :huh:

"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

Link to comment
Share on other sites

.... because the frozen lump of nasty beansoup slowly defrosting in my bin is not pretty  :shock: (not to mention the smell...)

Oh CRAP, you just reminded me of the pot with about an inch of leftover beans sitting on the back of the counter that I forgot about....last week...... :huh:

Errr, you might just want to pitch pot and all! :laugh:

"Commit random acts of senseless kindness"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will never again freeze the leftovers of food that was left over because, well, nobody liked it.

Those neat plastic containers keep staring at you reproachfully every time you open the freezer, reminding you of your culinary failures.

It may seem wasteful to throw something away on the day that it was made,  but freezing it, defrosting it 3 months later, discovering that you still don't want to eat it, and then throw it away, is just plain stupid  :wacko:

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

No kidding! I was talking to my son when I read this and we got to giggling over the really big pot of curried pumpkin soup, that I didn't like very much and he hated. (Though he loves Indian food in general.) We were about halfway through filling zipper baggies and laying them out neatly on a baking sheet to go in the freezer when we looked at each other and said, simultaneously, "What the **** are we doing?" That resulted in one of our "total incapacitation" laugh fests.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

Link to comment
Share on other sites

.....

yeah, but I can only do that on garbage-days (garbage is collected only twice a week here in Amsterdam), because the frozen lump of nasty beansoup slowly defrosting in my bin is not pretty  :shock: (not to mention the smell...)

What do mean only twice a week! Holy cow - once a week here even when the temp reaches the 90s and stays there for days. Recycles - once every two weeks. Count your blessings in Amersterdam.

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yup, once a week here too.. and we get some hot summers!

I will never again:

Grab my son's frosted pop tart out of the toaster without looking..

I burned every finger on my left hand, and I'm left handed.

Spent an entire day with my hand in a cup of ice water...

---------------------------------------

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here, if you want your trash to be picked up, you pay a small fortune. Far more cost-effective is to do what we do and buy a yearly pass and bring it in yourself! This time of year we can typically go 2 to 3 weeks between trips. But in hotter weather, we go every week, and anything with the potential to stink gets frozen until we get ready to head out.

That said, I will never again head to the dump without double-checking the freezer for things that have been waiting for proper disposal for weeks, er, months! :shock:

MelissaH

MelissaH

Oswego, NY

Chemist, writer, hired gun

Say this five times fast: "A big blue bucket of blue blueberries."

foodblog1 | kitchen reno | foodblog2

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've sort of done the same thing with freezing stuff that was overlooked in the meat drawer and started to turn. The only problem is not labeling it garbage.

And then thawing it weeks later. Uck! :wacko:

Double Uck!! :wacko::wacko:

Carpe Carp: Seize that fish!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will always smell the herbs/spices before adding.

I will always smell the herbs/spices before adding.

I will always smell the herbs/spices before adding.

UNLESS the spice is ground cayenne peppers.

AHHHHHH CHOOOO!!

Better believe I won't be doing that again!

Edited by pork (log)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, I just remembered this one:

When removing the membrane from the inside of a rack of babyback ribs, I will, from now on, always put down the boning knife I was using to start the hole before pulling on the membrane with gusto. Down to the bone on that one. They don't call it a boning knife for nuthin, son.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

...think that you can substitute corn oil for corn syrup when making Divinity (hey, I was 14, after all).

...think that "Chili Powder" is the same thing world round. I bought a sack of red powder from my supermarket's International aisle labeled "Chili Powder" in the Indian food section and thought it was the same as the Americanized "Chili Powder" used to flavor chilis, enchilada sauce, etc. 1/4 cup of that powder in a hot pan and I gassed out myself, my roommate, and his cats.

and one from my lovely aunt ...

...confuse 1 CLOVE of garlic for 1 HEAD of garlic. Apparently they had to throw everything out in their fridge before the smell of garlic would go away.

Flickr: Link

Instagram: Link

Twitter: Link

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...