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Food funnies

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Seen on Facebook:My cooking is so good even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

 

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Porthos Potwatcher
The Once and Future Cook

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5 hours ago, Porthos said:

Seen on Facebook:My cooking is so good even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

 

 

Yeah, my smoke alarm is apparently a vegetarian. Every time, and I mean every time! I broil meat in the oven inside it kicks up a terrible fuss. I've even set off the one on the second floor on a couple of occasions. I can't look at it as cheering me on.

 

We have a love/hate relationship though. Considering the one function this device is supposed to do, loudly protesting cooking meat is not such a terrible thing. :)

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> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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15 hours ago, Thanks for the Crepes said:

 

Yeah, my smoke alarm is apparently a vegetarian. Every time, and I mean every time! I broil meat in the oven inside it kicks up a terrible fuss. I've even set off the one on the second floor on a couple of occasions. I can't look at it as cheering me on.

 

We have a love/hate relationship though. Considering the one function this device is supposed to do, loudly protesting cooking meat is not such a terrible thing. :)

Every time my mom made toast, the smoke detector would sound off. So she'd stand under the detector waving a towel at it to try and get it to stop. She has since stopped making toast. ;)

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Sorry for the double post but I just saw this from Twitter (click):

A father sent a message to his daughter -

"Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.
Can't believe the currant exchange rate."

 

xD

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  • Haha 1

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Today's "Luann" comic strip made me giggle:

http://www.gocomics.com/luann/

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Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
HosteG Forumsnsmith@egstaff.org

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)

"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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Mexican cuisine is one of the many I know zero about. I honestly wouldn't know a taco from a sombrero. A mole, in my book, is a horrible animal that burrows underground and destroys lawns.

But I may having to rethink my ambivalence and investigate deeper having found this wonderful recipe today, which I can't wait to try. From the 1941 "Fruitvale Favorite Recipes" booklet.

 

Mexican Salad.jpg

 

Perhaps they meant "fruitcake"?

 

found via @ijusteatit on Twitter

 

 


Edited by liuzhou typos (log)
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11 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

Mexican cuisine is one of the many I know zero about. I honestly wouldn't know a taco from a sombrero. A mole, in my book, is a horrible animal that burrows underground and destroys lawns.

But I may having to rethink my ambivalence and investigate deeper having found this wonderful recipe today, which I can't wait to try. From the 1941 "Fruitvale Favorite Recipes" booklet.

 

Gah! After reading only this part of your post, I forgot I was on the Food Funnies thread, and took you seriously. I was so excited that you would be venturing into the Mexican arena. Well, I read a tiny bit further, and realized where I was. xD

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> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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Did you hear about the happy eater who consumed his hot dog with great relish?

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Porthos Potwatcher
The Once and Future Cook

;

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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

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This is an actual exchange in the Comments section of an article in our local online rag. I've removed the screen names. The article was about a guy who flipped himself over the handlebars trying to do a wheelie on his motorcycle.

----------------------

A wheely is not always a dangerous motorcycle move. If it goes wrong as it rarely does you need to ask why it did. I would use this as a good time to tell people how to do one the right way.

I and my two boys do wheelys and could be talked to about this. If you want to.

 

is a wheelie anything like a henway?

 

What's a henway?

 

around 4 pounds

 

That's dumb.

 

The joke, or missing it?

 

is it an Amish hen?  Because they usually weigh more.

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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

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My restaurant was in a remote fishing village, which -- paradoxically -- was also home to a nuclear generating station. 

 

For a catering order one day, I made leek and potato soup. One of the clients peered into the tureen suspiciously and asked "Does this have much onion in it? Because I don't like onions." 

 

"Well," I said, "It's leek and potato soup. So there are leeks in it, but no regular onions."

"That's fine then," he replied. "I don't mind a few leeks."

 

"You know," I told him, "That's not what I want to hear from the guy who's refurbishing a nuclear reactor." 


Edited by chromedome Edited to correct a typo. (log)
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“What is called sound economics is very often what mirrors the needs of the respectably affluent.” - John Kenneth Galbraith

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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2 hours ago, chromedome said:

My restaurant was in a remote fishing village, which -- paradoxically -- was also home to a nuclear generating station. 

 

For a catering order one day, I made leek and potato soup. One of the clients peered into the tureen suspiciously and asked "Does this have much onion in it? Because I don't like onions." 

 

"Well," I said, "It's leek and potato soup. So there are leeks in it, but no regular onions."

"That's fine then," he replied. "I don't mind a few leeks."

 

"You know," I told him, "That's not what I want to hear from the guy who's refurbishing a nuclear reactor." 

 

Lol! If that's Point Lepreau I understand there were fair number of building issues with the potential for 'leeks'- the ex FIL worked security during the build.

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I may have met him, then. I catered a lot of functions there at the time. 

 

Their problems with the refurbishment caused me some personal grief. I'd opened a second restaurant down near the plant, planning to feed the construction crews until the project was over and then close up shop. When the refurbishment went on hold for 18 months as they sorted out the issues, it meant the main labour contractor went from just under 1700 people on site to (ahem) seven. You don't stay open very long, feeding lunch twice a week to seven people. 

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“What is called sound economics is very often what mirrors the needs of the respectably affluent.” - John Kenneth Galbraith

 

"Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition...The first rule of the Dunning-Kruger club is you don’t know you’re a member of the Dunning-Kruger club.” - psychologist David Dunning

 

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Pearls Before Swine: "I love the practice."


Edited by Alex to fix a typo (log)
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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

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Banana stuffer or first urology kit?

Some  might think it belongs with the kitchen gadget topic but I think it's more appropriate here.

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Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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4 hours ago, Anna N said:

Banana stuffer or first urology kit?

Some  might think it belongs with the kitchen gadget topic but I think it's more appropriate here.

 

Yes. And there is a precedent. One of Rhik's other articles is up-topic - the whole series is funny. The original banana stuffer article is here,


Edited by liuzhou (log)

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This isnt exactly "funny" but it is ODD. Pay attention to the ingredients and the story about her son.

I was like, "whoah! did I just hear that?"

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Wawa Sizzli FTW!

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2 hours ago, GlorifiedRice said:

 

 

This isnt exactly "funny" but it is ODD. Pay attention to the ingredients and the story about her son.

I was like, "whoah! did I just hear that?"

 

Poppies...Poppies...Poppies will put them to sleep.

 

In my clinic, a favorite excuse for a drug test turning up positive for opiods was, "I ate some poppy seed rolls (bagels, cake, etc.) the night before." "Uh, sorry, but I'm not buying that. Obviously you know that eating a sufficient amount of poppy seeds can cause a positive drug test, so you also know that you need to avoid those foods."

 

BTW, poppy seeds do not contain opium per se, but can become coated with it, or absorb some, during harvesting. Several variables influence how much opium remains after processing.


Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

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From The New Yorker: We Do Our Own Little Take On Ketchup

 

Quote

The ketchup here at the Stetson is made in-house with freshly diced tomatoes, a pinch of sugar, a touch of paprika, and it’s disgusting. It truly is gross. Nobody likes it, and all the customers secretly wish we just served Heinz ketchup instead.

 

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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and the accompanying readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

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