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Keith_W

Food funnies

171 posts in this topic

Craigslist sometimes is a source of unintentional humor. For example, just today, someone posted this in the Appliances By Owner section:

***Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker/Waffle Maker/Can Opener***

For just a second or two, my thought was, "Weird. But cool. What does it look like?" Then, of course...

-------------------

Also today, this was posted in the same section by someone apparently unclear on the concept of appliances (or pets, or both):

Fantastic Little Chihuahua Puppies

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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and their readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"A vasectomy might cost as much as a year’s worth of ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s equally enjoyable." -Ezra Dyer, NY Times

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The Onion reports on Chicago

 

Quote

Catching unsuspecting sources completely off guard with their remarks, the populace of the city of Chicago, entirely unprompted, announced Monday, “We get the food and then we eat the food until all the food is gone.”

 

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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and their readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"A vasectomy might cost as much as a year’s worth of ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s equally enjoyable." -Ezra Dyer, NY Times

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Viewing @sartoric Lunch post of Beef and Guinness pies made this pop to mind:

Clever marketing.

 

 

 

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I know it's stew. What KIND of stew?

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Seen on Facebook:My cooking is so good even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

 

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Porthos Potwatcher
The Once and Future Cook

 

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5 hours ago, Porthos said:

Seen on Facebook:My cooking is so good even the smoke alarm cheers me on.

 

 

Yeah, my smoke alarm is apparently a vegetarian. Every time, and I mean every time! I broil meat in the oven inside it kicks up a terrible fuss. I've even set off the one on the second floor on a couple of occasions. I can't look at it as cheering me on.

 

We have a love/hate relationship though. Considering the one function this device is supposed to do, loudly protesting cooking meat is not such a terrible thing. :)

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> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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15 hours ago, Thanks for the Crepes said:

 

Yeah, my smoke alarm is apparently a vegetarian. Every time, and I mean every time! I broil meat in the oven inside it kicks up a terrible fuss. I've even set off the one on the second floor on a couple of occasions. I can't look at it as cheering me on.

 

We have a love/hate relationship though. Considering the one function this device is supposed to do, loudly protesting cooking meat is not such a terrible thing. :)

Every time my mom made toast, the smoke detector would sound off. So she'd stand under the detector waving a towel at it to try and get it to stop. She has since stopped making toast. ;)

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

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Sorry for the double post but I just saw this from Twitter (click):

A father sent a message to his daughter -

"Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.
Can't believe the currant exchange rate."

 

xD

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“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

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Today's "Luann" comic strip made me giggle:

http://www.gocomics.com/luann/

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Nancy Smith, aka "Smithy"
HosteG Forumsnsmith@egstaff.org

"Every day should be filled with something delicious, because life is too short not to spoil yourself. " -- Ling (with permission)

"There comes a time in every project when you have to shoot the engineer and start production." -- author unknown

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Posted (edited)

Mexican cuisine is one of the many I know zero about. I honestly wouldn't know a taco from a sombrero. A mole, in my book, is a horrible animal that burrows underground and destroys lawns.

But I may having to rethink my ambivalence and investigate deeper having found this wonderful recipe today, which I can't wait to try. From the 1941 "Fruitvale Favorite Recipes" booklet.

 

Mexican Salad.jpg

 

Perhaps they meant "fruitcake"?

 

found via @ijusteatit on Twitter

 

 


Edited by liuzhou typos (log)
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11 minutes ago, liuzhou said:

Mexican cuisine is one of the many I know zero about. I honestly wouldn't know a taco from a sombrero. A mole, in my book, is a horrible animal that burrows underground and destroys lawns.

But I may having to rethink my ambivalence and investigate deeper having found this wonderful recipe today, which I can't wait to try. From the 1941 "Fruitvale Favorite Recipes" booklet.

 

Gah! After reading only this part of your post, I forgot I was on the Food Funnies thread, and took you seriously. I was so excited that you would be venturing into the Mexican arena. Well, I read a tiny bit further, and realized where I was. xD

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> ^ . . ^ <

 

 

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Did you hear about the happy eater who consumed his hot dog with great relish?

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Porthos Potwatcher
The Once and Future Cook

 

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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and their readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"A vasectomy might cost as much as a year’s worth of ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s equally enjoyable." -Ezra Dyer, NY Times

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This is an actual exchange in the Comments section of an article in our local online rag. I've removed the screen names. The article was about a guy who flipped himself over the handlebars trying to do a wheelie on his motorcycle.

----------------------

A wheely is not always a dangerous motorcycle move. If it goes wrong as it rarely does you need to ask why it did. I would use this as a good time to tell people how to do one the right way.

I and my two boys do wheelys and could be talked to about this. If you want to.

 

is a wheelie anything like a henway?

 

What's a henway?

 

around 4 pounds

 

That's dumb.

 

The joke, or missing it?

 

is it an Amish hen?  Because they usually weigh more.

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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and their readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"A vasectomy might cost as much as a year’s worth of ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s equally enjoyable." -Ezra Dyer, NY Times

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My restaurant was in a remote fishing village, which -- paradoxically -- was also home to a nuclear generating station. 

 

For a catering order one day, I made leek and potato soup. One of the clients peered into the tureen suspiciously and asked "Does this have much onion in it? Because I don't like onions." 

 

"Well," I said, "It's leek and potato soup. So there are leeks in it, but no regular onions."

"That's fine then," he replied. "I don't mind a few leeks."

 

"You know," I told him, "That's not what I want to hear from the guy who's refurbishing a nuclear reactor." 


Edited by chromedome Edited to correct a typo. (log)
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Fat=flavor

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2 hours ago, chromedome said:

My restaurant was in a remote fishing village, which -- paradoxically -- was also home to a nuclear generating station. 

 

For a catering order one day, I made leek and potato soup. One of the clients peered into the tureen suspiciously and asked "Does this have much onion in it? Because I don't like onions." 

 

"Well," I said, "It's leek and potato soup. So there are leeks in it, but no regular onions."

"That's fine then," he replied. "I don't mind a few leeks."

 

"You know," I told him, "That's not what I want to hear from the guy who's refurbishing a nuclear reactor." 

 

Lol! If that's Point Lepreau I understand there were fair number of building issues with the potential for 'leeks'- the ex FIL worked security during the build.

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I may have met him, then. I catered a lot of functions there at the time. 

 

Their problems with the refurbishment caused me some personal grief. I'd opened a second restaurant down near the plant, planning to feed the construction crews until the project was over and then close up shop. When the refurbishment went on hold for 18 months as they sorted out the issues, it meant the main labour contractor went from just under 1700 people on site to (ahem) seven. You don't stay open very long, feeding lunch twice a week to seven people. 

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Fat=flavor

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Pearls Before Swine: "I love the practice."


Edited by Alex to fix a typo (log)
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Gene Weingarten, writing in the Washington Post about online news stories and their readers' comments: "I basically like 'comments,' though they can seem a little jarring: spit-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it comes with a side of maggots."

 

"A vasectomy might cost as much as a year’s worth of ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s equally enjoyable." -Ezra Dyer, NY Times

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