Culinary defenses against late people

[tikidoc]

I lived in Central America for a year, and had to deal with this constantly. I was the only one who wasn't running on Panama time, and for the first several months, it drove me absolutely nuts. I used a combination of strategies - telling people to arrive half an hour earlier and cooking things that were less in a "sit down dinner" style, and more family style, with things that held well. And when we were getting together to go out to dinner, leaving from my place, I got out of the shower about the time I told people to be at my apartment.

I think now, I would probably talk to the person if it was a friend I valued, and just stop inviting them if it wasn't.

Jess

[Shalmanese]

Yesterday I started a topic about my annoyance with people who can't get a meal ready on time. In a related vein, I know several people who never show up on time when I invite them over for a meal. I'm not talking about being late within a socially acceptable margin of error -- say, half a hour. I'm talking about consistently being an hour or more late beyond the time you say dinner is going to be on the table.

I've found that there are two defenses against people like that:

1. Serve foods that are extremely forgiving of extra holding time, such as braised meat. (Not, for example, risotto).

2. Serve foods that are cooked at the moment of service and take very little time or attention. (Not, for example, risotto).

Also never invite habitually late and habitually on-time people to the same dinner, especially when the on-time ones have kids.

I actually find risotto to be perfect. If you start risotto the moment the last person walks in the door, it's on the table exactly when everyone's fully settled down. For me, the tricky timing thing is roasts or large cuts of meat. I now put the roast in the oven the minute the first person walks in the door and time my meal around when the roast is done. Courses can be shuffled around slightly to accomodate either an early or late start to dinner. If you're not at my house by the time the roast is done, then I've given up trying to be hospitable to you.

Pre-dinner, everyone's got a drink and maybe some nibbles and are catching up. I'll usually have a salad that's ready but not dressed and a soup bubbling away that can be served any time. Both of those can be on the table in minutes. This allows quite a bit of juggling of service times so that the pace is smooth, no matter when people choose to arrive.

[janeer]

Well, we have similar pet peeves. I had a very good friend who was unable to show up on time, sometimes at all, for dinner invitations.I did have "the talk," and she really stepped up and made her best effort hard for her but did it for me. It made a difference. In addition to braises and a la minute, I recommend dishes that can be served at room temperature. Especially first courses and apps. And then, things that hold well. This is how I discovered that chiles rellenos in sauce hold beautifully for up to an hour.

Other than that good friend, I just stopped inviting people. Who needs it.

[KaffeeKlatsch]

Tardiness killed a friendship. I had a friend who was late to everything. I knew this about her and expected to wait. Sometimes I got really annoyed, like the time we planned to meet for a single showing of Gone With The Wind at the movie theater. I left 30 minutes after the showtime was scheduled. I think that's the only time I didn't actually wait for her. It probably didn't help that I'm a chronically early person. I usually arrive 15 minutes early. We talked about it, but she always dismissed any complaints from anyone as that's just the way she was.

The final straw was my wedding. I was standing with my bridal party holding my dad's arm. The music was beginning and the doors were about to open for us to walk down the aisle when the outside door opened and my friend with her daughter came rushing in, apologizing profusely, and slipping past us to get to their seats. Our friendship never recovered. We're polite acquaintances now.

[Toliver]

...It probably didn't help that I'm a chronically early person. I usually arrive 15 minutes early.

I, too, am an early arriver. I will be happy to sit in my car while waiting for the appointed time to approach so I can be on time.

I take late arrivers personally. I think it's a sign of disrespect. They may not mean it that way but that's the message they're sending: "I don't care enough about you to show up when you asked me to."

It's about good manners and being courteous. It's about being a mature, responsible adult. It's about respecting me and our friendship enough to show up on time.

[heidih]

I have been with people who consider it rude to arrive exactly on time. They seem to think I an a nut job when I say we should get going or we will be late. That whole "fashionably late" thing. If you think that may be the case perhaps making it clear that you plan to serve at "x" time so that the food can be best enjoyed would help.

[weinoo]

...It probably didn't help that I'm a chronically early person. I usually arrive 15 minutes early.

I, too, am an early arriver. I will be happy to sit in my car while waiting for the appointed time to approach so I can be on time.

I take late arrivers personally. I think it's a sign of disrespect. They may not mean it that way but that's the message they're sending: "I don't care enough about you to show up when you asked me to."

It's about good manners and being courteous. It's about being a mature, responsible adult. It's about respecting me and our friendship enough to show up on time.

What I said.