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Slow Eating. Jay Rayner is against it


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I don't really get the point of the article.

I'm a notorious slow eater, not to the point of the example he cites, but I usually finish five minutes or so after most people. I find that eating fast makes me feel bloated and a little ill, so I'd rather just go along slowly. Plus I like to play around a little with the elements on the plate, tasting each in different combinations. Maybe I'm weird.

I don't see why it matters, so long as you're not holding anyone up too long. Its not like there's a clock on it.

James.

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That's it, Broken English. That's why you're the problem. You don't realize other people have more important things to do than enjoy your company over a leisurely meal.

Sarcasms aside, one of the comments on the original story got it about right.

Are you trying to be a foodie Jeremy Clarkson?

Unfunny windbags who get a pass because "Ho, ho, Johnny Foreigner doesn't get the subtleties of British humour." We get it's supposed to be funny, guys, we just don't think it is.

The bored teenagers at the *chans do trolling and insult comedy much, much better and they don't pretend to be above criticism because of their nationality.

This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

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Some people eat slow because they eat slow, some people eat like a starving raptor. We're all a bit different and sometimes hungry and sometimes not. Rayner does the 'critical bite' trick where he snaps the fork to his mouth as if adding a sample to a lab machine, then stares off into space while pretending to crunch numbers under that Capt Pugwash/Shoe Bomber wig. That's pretty irritating for everyone else at table.

Essentially he's just being a bully, like his mother always was. For a Guardian/Obs journo he's very intolerant and fascist about things, which is okay as a platform to write from, but on a rightish paper he'd be required to be witty too.

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My Mother In Law who lived with us for 20 years would always

be the last person to finish a plate.

When the mood took me,I tried this, cutting my spuds in to

smaller and smaller pieces. I never won and nothing was ever

said.

Martial.2,500 Years ago:

If pale beans bubble for you in a red earthenware pot, you can often decline the dinners of sumptuous hosts.

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Some people eat slow because they eat slow, some people eat like a starving raptor. We're all a bit different and sometimes hungry and sometimes not. Rayner does the 'critical bite' trick where he snaps the fork to his mouth as if adding a sample to a lab machine, then stares off into space while pretending to crunch numbers under that Capt Pugwash/Shoe Bomber wig. That's pretty irritating for everyone else at table.

Essentially he's just being a bully, like his mother always was. For a Guardian/Obs journo he's very intolerant and fascist about things, which is okay as a platform to write from, but on a rightish paper he'd be required to be witty too.

Rayner usually is quite witty, I enjoy his writing usually. That's why this piece makes no sense to me, it's devoid of wit, and it's way off base.

James.

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I'm all for a slow, leisurely meal if we're all having a slow, leisurely meal; what's rude is when one person forces his slow, leisurely meal on a table full of people who have a show to catch or who are just tired of sitting, have run out of things to talk about, and want the check. I am frequently obligated to dine with a slow eater and what is truly maddening about it is the way he simply doesn't care if everyone else has to sit and watch him eat for 20 minutes while he finishes, even if we have to be somewhere at a particular time. He just plods on through his meal at the same leisurely pace. And, just as you might expect, this same lack of regard for others' time extends to the rest of his life as well. Even if there is a busload of people waiting for him, he will never break out of his measured pace. He just doesn't seem to feel the same social pressure that others feel. It drives me crazy.

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  • 2 weeks later...

OK, I'll stand up and represent Those Of Us Who Are Coupled With The Opposite.

I'm fast. I have an entire personality theory based on how you sat at your family's table. I sat next to my father. He's a fast eater. He built houses for a living and when he came home for dinner, he was hungry. Sometimes I eat too fast and have to slow myself down. Yes, I know, it's healthier to eat slower. It's also embarrassing to eat fast when eating for Business. I have to keep a close watch on my companions and make sure I match them bite for bite. It doesn't make me feel any better when I do this. I feel unnatural.

The other half is slowwwwww. Sometimes I wait at the table, talking or feeding the bird to fill the time. Sometimes I get bored and leave. Sometimes I start in on dessert, if there is any. Sometimes I eat something off her plate.

And neither one of us is right. Nor is the person who would finish in between us both. It just is.

And is a ridiculous thing to contemplate if you think about all the people who don't have any food to time themselves eating.

I like to bake nice things. And then I eat them. Then I can bake some more.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am a slow eater, very slow actually. I like to savor my food, I don't like to be rushed out of restaurants, or rushed to get done with what is on my plate. If I don't have the proper time for a meal, then I don't eat one.I like to enjoy my food, my dinner companion, the place I am at. It kind of grosses me out to see people wolf their food down. I don't see why someone would want to eat fast, really.

"I eat fat back, because bacon is too lean"

-overheard from a 105 year old man

"The only time to eat diet food is while waiting for the steak to cook" - Julia Child

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Tongue in cheek is one thing, but this just annoys me. Mind you, I'm a fast eater as well, but I just do like Simon_S says and start eating off of their plate :wink:

"...which usually means underflavored, undersalted modern French cooking hidden under edible flowers and Mexican fruits."

- Jeffrey Steingarten, in reference to "California Cuisine".

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