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The FedEx Meal Plan


Chris Hennes

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When I was first considering a move to Oklahoma City, I joked that I could move anyplace with FedEx service. I don't actually have that many ingredients overnighted to me, however. This guy, on the other hand...

From the GQ article:

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ONE SHOULD NEVER underestimate the value of having friends whose first reaction, when you tell them you need two In-N-Out burgers FedExed from Los Angeles to New York by the next morning, is to ask, “Regular or Double-Double?” These are the kind of people with whom you'd be happy to share either a foxhole or a beer, the kind you know would be willing to follow you into any drunkenly conceived, willfully contrary, possibly wrongheaded, and certainly obnoxious scheme you'd manage to dream up. I happen to have such friends (their names are Oliver and Sarah), and I happened to have had such a scheme. It was this: To get as many foods as possible, from all over the world, sent overnight via FedEx to my home in Brooklyn.


and this choice tidbit:
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Locavore may have been the 2007 New Oxford American Dictionary Word of the Year, but there's already been a word for those whose diets are restricted to seasonal items grown in their immediate area: That word is peasant.



Have you ever had a complete meal overnighted to you? Would you? What would it be? I've had pork overnighted, but never a meal.

Chris Hennes
Director of Operations
chennes@egullet.org

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Sounds like a bad lifestyle choice. Maybe for a special anniversary, or for a military family member serving overseas, then sure. I wonder if he has ever sent anything back.

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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Locavore may have been the 2007 New Oxford American Dictionary Word of the Year, but there's already been a word for those whose diets are restricted to seasonal items grown in their immediate area: That word is peasant.

Another word is farmer. I grew up on a farm in the 40s and 50s, and have always been quite amused by the locavores who don't seem to realize that eating close to home involves preserving foods by freezing, canning, cold storage, drying, salting, smoking, etc. as well as shopping.

Ruth Dondanville aka "ruthcooks"

“Are you making a statement, or are you making dinner?” Mario Batali

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Well, he's really about "dishes" not meals, so I qualify. The only thing, ever, "prepared" that I order, usually around Christmas, is the tiny tamales from a place in Brownsville, TX. They are $3.00 a dozen on average (pork, chicken, beef, pork and chile, sweet, etc.) I usually order 3 or 4 dozen, mixed variety, so quite cheap--except for the FedEx shipping. I'm embarassed to say how much that costs, but it is way more than the food itself... I know how to make them, just as good, but the savings in time/labor is worth it, once a year.

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I don't anywhere near a Fedex office, but anytime I hop on a plane to anywhere one of my friends lives, they get an e-mail asking what they want brought from my current location. It's usually tea these days, but I did recently bring a litre of Chinese soy sauce to Korea for someone. If someone asked for an actual dish that I thought I could get through customs? Sure, why not?

My mum regularly flies donairs up to my uncle in Labrador anytime someone from her family passes through Halifax. I've known teachers who've gotten Tim Hortons coffee and donuts brought back from Canada to Asia on a twelve hour flight, although I'm not sure why they bothered; surely the donuts were rock hard when they arrived.

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I worked with a woman from Tennessee who would pine for the doughnuts from a doughnut shop back home. So she had a friend of hers from Tennessee FedEx out a dozen glazed doughnuts. We tried them and thought "big deal". Then she told us we had to heat them up first.

Oy My God (typo intended). They were so good. The name of the doughnut shop was Krispy Kreme. They hadn't expanded to our city/state, yet (they did eventually but then the chain had financial reverses and the shop closed here in our town :angry: ).

FedEx is certainly a way to scratch that "jonesing for..." itch, albeit an expensive one.

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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