Jump to content
  • Welcome to the eG Forums, a service of the eGullet Society for Culinary Arts & Letters. The Society is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of the culinary arts. These advertising-free forums are provided free of charge through donations from Society members. Anyone may read the forums, but to post you must create a free account.

Culinary Signs of the Apocalypse: 2010


Recommended Posts

Tough though it is to follow the amazing Liberace appliance, due diligence demands reporting a friend's complaint of deluge advertising from her local Olive Garden chain restaurant for "Lasagna Fritta:"

Parmesan-breaded lasagna pieces, fried and served over alfredo sauce, topped with parmesan cheese and marinara sauce.

It's as if those battered and deep-fried Twinkies and Mars Bars emerging from Scotland some years ago (to join the existing rancid-deep-fat food stalls at US beach boardwalks) are moving toward "the middle of the plate."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The definitive Liberace database., of course. The toilet-shaped nut warmers were made in 1975 when Liberace was the main show in Vegas. I don't own one -- I discovered it while researching a chocolate factory in Dartmouth NS who recently closed their plant after 75 years. Liberace did TV ads for Moirs Pot of Gold Chocolates.

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dont know if this is the proper place to post this, but i feel compelled to document my experience.

while making the sunday morning coffee, i mindlessly snapped on the kitchen tv, only to see sandra lee, dressed in a nightmare-inducing elvira-ish get up, scooping the guts out of both a pre-made pumpkin pie and a cheesecake, slapped the innards around in a bowl with heavy cream, and filled tartlet shells with the goo. some lucky tartlets got a mishmash of both . sandra chirped that you could moosh up the eviserated pie crust and plop it on top of ice cream.

i'm going back to bed.

"Laughter is brightest where food is best."

www.chezcherie.com

Author of The I Love Trader Joe's Cookbook ,The I Love Trader Joe's Party Cookbook and The I Love Trader Joe's Around the World Cookbook

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Come on, you have to love Sandra Lee. She makes the rest of us look so good!

This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Surely the end is near...

"Tavern on the Green morphs into a food court"

This NYC Central Park restaurant icon since 1934, which closed its doors last New Years, has been converted into a tres shee-shee "food court" with four high-end food trucks serving everything from artisan ice cream to truffled chick peas.

Granted, the Tavern was long past its prime when it finally closed but puh-leeze!

The Big Cheese

BlackMesaRanch.com

My Blog: "The Kitchen Chronicles"

BMR on FaceBook

"The Flavor of the White Mountains"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Surely the end is near...

"Tavern on the Green morphs into a food court"

This NYC Central Park restaurant icon since 1934, which closed its doors last New Years, has been converted into a tres shee-shee "food court" with four high-end food trucks serving everything from artisan ice cream to truffled chick peas.

Granted, the Tavern was long past its prime when it finally closed but puh-leeze!

I thought I was the only one outside of NYC that was devastated by this. The thought of the Crystal Room being demolished makes me ill. And FOOD TRUCKS, fer cryin' out loud.....?!?!?

I was actually also really surprised that there wasn't any more outrage/sadness posted as responses to the Times article than there was. Wha' up with that?

--Roberta--

"Let's slip out of these wet clothes, and into a dry Martini" - Robert Benchley

Pierogi's eG Foodblog

My *outside* blog, "A Pound Of Yeast"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Ummmmm, can we go back to that espresso prostitution thing for a minute?

I'm picturing some kind of insane Fellini-esque sex show in Bangkok that features a pimped out espresso machine featuring bare-breasted carytids with eagle wings that come to life and step off the machine to serve you . . .

I like to bake nice things. And then I eat them. Then I can bake some more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Another sure sign...

Homemade Velveeta

This recipe brought to you by the good folks at New England Cheesemaking Supply Company who are normally pretty down-to-earth and all 'round FANTASTIC resource and source of supply for home cheese makers.

To their credit, they are at least a bit defensive about publishing this particular recipe and, in that it is made from scratch and from fresh milk, it's got to be better for you than real Velveeta. "Real Velveeta" - now there's an oxymoron for you!

The Big Cheese

BlackMesaRanch.com

My Blog: "The Kitchen Chronicles"

BMR on FaceBook

"The Flavor of the White Mountains"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another sure sign...

Homemade Velveeta

This recipe brought to you by the good folks at New England Cheesemaking Supply Company who are normally pretty down-to-earth and all 'round FANTASTIC resource and source of supply for home cheese makers.

To their credit, they are at least a bit defensive about publishing this particular recipe and, in that it is made from scratch and from fresh milk, it's got to be better for you than real Velveeta. "Real Velveeta" - now there's an oxymoron for you!

Holy Shit! that is unbelievable, yet even worse is the recipe that follows: Velveeta Cheese Fudge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

O Lawd.

You do realize one of us is going to have to make it and report back?

This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I saw a similar product on Amazon while looking for another product.

Vegetarian haggis

The END is near!

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" Terry Pratchett

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another sure sign...

Homemade Velveeta

This recipe brought to you by the good folks at New England Cheesemaking Supply Company who are normally pretty down-to-earth and all 'round FANTASTIC resource and source of supply for home cheese makers.

To their credit, they are at least a bit defensive about publishing this particular recipe and, in that it is made from scratch and from fresh milk, it's got to be better for you than real Velveeta. "Real Velveeta" - now there's an oxymoron for you!

Holy Shit! that is unbelievable, yet even worse is the recipe that follows: Velveeta Cheese Fudge.

Should we file that under "Pestilence" or "Famine"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Pretty soon we'll need to have schools where they teach people to cook....

I realize this is (probably?) a facetious reference to culinary school, but I'm all in favor of making Home Economics mandatory at the Jr. High and High School levels. I'm not particularly skilled or knowledgeable in the kitchen compared to most people here but the general public has a way of surprising me by finding ingenious new ways of screwing things up trying to cook.

Not trying to be some kind of elitist foodie, just asking that people be taught how to safely prepare and handle food ferchrissakes.

Sorry to reach so far back to this comment, but I've been recalling my junior high home ec classes. Our teacher was not everyone's favorite, but learning the basics of cooking was invaluable, and even the most jaded of us couldn't help but feel a little pride when we sat down at our (meticulously set) communal table and enjoyed our soup, roasted potatoes, cake, what-have-you... We got tested on everything from measuring, cooking, setting a table, cleaning, food safety, and table manners-- oh, and sewing.

And this was in NJ in the 90s. I wonder if my school is still offering the class? I hope so. I had other access to cooks in my family, but for some kids, I'm sure this was the only real cooking the got to do in their young lives.

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again." --Groucho Marx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In terms of predicting the coming apocalypse, the whole "no stars" section of this website, Heat Eat Review, is a gem. But please, watch the video review of the Kids Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks meal here.

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again." --Groucho Marx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

The Illinois Restaurant Association wants to confine food trucks to "food deserts."

“If these things really work by social media, they could just go to food deserts. There are plenty of neighborhoods in the city that have a shortage of restaurants and grocery stores or late-night places to eat,” said the association’s president, Sheila O’Grady, Mayor Daley’s longest-serving chief of staff.

Chris Amirault

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...