Culinary Confession: Where are you shirking?

[maggiethecat]

If you were raised, as I was, in the Anglican/Episcopal tradition Thomas Cranmer's words still resonate, even if you haven't been to church for thirty years. From the General Confession:

"We have left undone those things which we ought to have done,

And we have done those things which we ought not to have done,

And there is no health in us."

I'm not talking theology here, just cooking, and I'm going to ignore the last two lines and focus on the first. I have left undone those things I ought to have done in the kitchen. I've known how to make yogurt for thirty years, it's better and cheaper than anything I can buy. Why do I make it once a quarter, not once a week?

I have a KA and a Cuiz -- even the laziest baker should be able to keep her home in a fresh loaf a day.

I've thrown out overripe bananas: I've known how to make a good banana bread since I was 12. Well, there is no health in me.

And that's just three of a line of sins of omission! Please tell me that I'm not the only miserable sinner in these parts

[Peter the eater]

I'm rife with kitchen sin, but you know what helps? Keeping appliances on the counter. My wife's pink KA mixer and new 1.7L food processor sit beside my Foodsaver fully exposed and easily accessed.

[Lindacakes]

Some godforsaken part of me still buys and uses Goya beans even though I regularly order and have on hand Rancho Gordo beans and Russ Parson's method for no soak beans is copied into no less than three cookbooks (the digital archive, the arty archive, the quick reference archive).

It's so quick . . .

I have been known to let an eggplant rot on enough occasions to call it a Habit. Despite my intelligence and my cookbook collection I still Fear Eggplants.

I commit the sin of sloth regarding my food processor. I hate cleaning it. I do have the mixer and the processor cleverly conveyed on an attractive computer printer cart so they scoot about the kitchen, look good, and are easy to use. But -- I hate cleaning it.

[Kouign Aman]

No, the laziest cook can not keep her house in a loaf a day. Thank you much.

The lazy cook needs to be home and conscious (both) long enough for the oven to heat, cook, and be turned off. And never mind rising time.

You have permission to forgive yourself.

I'm not as sure on the yogurt thing. I now know how to make it, but wasnt thrilled.

Bad risotto. I have sinned. I have twice carved out the time to make risotto and both times it was dreadful (differently). Good texture, but that was its only saving grace. Forgive me, for I have sinned against the rice.

[Kerry Beal]

Lettuce!

[Lapin d'Argent]

Salad. I mean, how hard can it be? And we have house rabbits, for crying out loud, so we probably buy more greens than most people.

But I just can't seem to get around to making a salad.

[nakji]

Lettuce!

Oh, God, the lettuce, the lettuce. Why did you have to bring that up? How many an innocent, organic head has wilted at my neglect and inability to buy paper towel? The shame, the shame.

Nevermind the cilantro.

[Lilija]

I tossed out a chicken carcass yesterday. I didn't stick it in the freezer for stock. I had the thing in my hand, and really couldn't picture myself making stock anytime soon (it's barbecue season, for the love of corn!). I chucked it.

My grandmother is spinning so hard in her grave, she's gonna catch on fire.

[maggiethecat]

I tossed out a chicken carcass yesterday. I didn't stick it in the freezer for stock. I had the thing in my hand, and really couldn't picture myself making stock anytime soon (it's barbecue season, for the love of corn!). I chucked it.

My grandmother is spinning so hard in her grave, she's gonna catch on fire.

Yes, I've done that too, within this last month. It really did feel like a sin of omission, and impoverished great grandparents, starving children and eGullet membership were breathing down my neck.

[maggiethecat]

Lettuce!

Oh, God, the lettuce, the lettuce. Why did you have to bring that up? How many an innocent, organic head has wilted at my neglect and inability to buy paper towel? The shame, the shame.

Nevermind the cilantro.

Dear Lord -- I hear you ladies! If i were to do an archaeological dig in my fridge right now, I'd find month old moldering romaine and gelid cilantro. I truly feel bad, as a first world lazy ass and a soi disant frugal cook. There is no health in me.

Edited May 18, 2010 by maggiethecat (log)

[Dianabanana]

Are you familiar with the Italian notion that every crumb of bread you waste will be waiting for you in Hell when you die, and you'll have to spend eternity picking it up with your eyelids? Yeah. I unfortunately have plenty of occasion to ponder that one. Only in my case I'll be picking up with my eyelids slimy cucumbers (is there anything that goes bad faster or more dramatically than a cucumber?), unopened boxes of tofu, quarts of buttermilk minus the bit I used for pancakes, paper bags of things from the bulk section that I forgot to date and then was afraid to eat because I couldn't remember how old they were . . .

[LoriZig]

Hummus. I eat it almost everyday and with a few cans of those Goya garbanzos, I can make cheaper, better tasting hummus in no time at all. But do I? No. I feel shame everytime I put the Tribe of Two Sheiks in my cart.

Chicken carcass guilt is an affliction of mine as well...

[nakji]

unopened boxes of tofu

Sorry. I blame tofu for its fast spoilage. Good lord, what else goes from sublime to slime in a day? We can't swan about buying fresh tofu exactly when we need it. Absolve yourself of this sin.

[JTravel]

Oh, I see myself here is so many things......romaine (but rarely lettuce as DH will eat that every night). It's a good thing cabbage lasts a long time, I always "think" I will use it right up.

I wish I could buy 3 sprigs of cilantro for Just the one dish I'm making. I think this is why I don't use fresh herbs, you buy a bunch which costs more than the chicken breast you're putting it with.....and you only use a fraction of it. More guilt at not growing a nice pot of herbs each summer. How hard could that be.

I am trying to break myself of the "stock up, it's cheap" habit which has left me with inferior salsas and other jarred things to be dumped on compost years later.

[kayb]

Avocados. I buy too many when they're on sale, and they go from too hard to just right (where they remain for a period of approximately 36 seconds) and to way-past-prime and speeding toward unusable before I can go through them in guacamole, soup, and sliced on BLTs.

And various unidentifiable things that have decomposed into I'd-rather-not-know in plastic containers. Thank God for cheap Gladware....so I can throw out container and all!

[Beebs]

Stock.

I use canned chicken and beef stocks (and sometimes bouillion cubes) because I am too lazy/pressed for time/disorganized to make homemade stock on a more regular basis. I can get a big bag of meat bones and chicken carcasses dirt cheap at the Asian markets, it'll cost me pennies to make, and tastes way better than the canned stuff...but I just can't seem to get my s*** together to do it regularly.

[Special K]

I grow lots of herbs - rosemary, oregano, thyme, sage, parsley chives, etc., and I always plant a few onions and garlic bulbs for the tops . . . and I rarely use them! Basil I do use, during the hottest part of the summer, the only time I can grow it in Seattle, and rosemary I use a lot (cuz I love it), but the others I forget, let bolt or go to seed. Oh, the ignominy!

Now, if I had a little garden spot right outside the front door (which is where the basil grows in pots), I'd see it and think to use it, but no, all this stuff is planted out in the front yard, where it sure looks purty!

[Anna N]

I confess to an acute case of "convenience-creep". I bought pre-formed hamburgers/lamburgers this week. Oh the shame!

[Lindacakes]

I'm picturing coconut hairshirts . . .

[David A. Goldfarb]

Polishing the copper. I'll do it when we have a dinner party, maybe.

[Kim Shook]

Oh, lord, I think I’m guilty of all of this stuff and probably more. And as a basic good girl and cradle Episcopalian things left undone has always bothered me more than things done (I am better at not being bad than I am at being good).

Mr. Kim is an anti-waste fiend, so I toss all overripe bananas in the freezer – at last count, I think we have 17. Nothing gets thrown away straight from the table, but when he’s not around I dig around the back of the fridge and find horrors.

Erin’s “Oh, God, the lettuce, the lettuce” cracked me right up. I, too, have lettuce shame. Thank God Romaine lasts as long as it does. And with herbs, there seems no way to win. If I buy it at extortionist prices, I use one leaf and the rest dissolves slowly into goo. If I get all energetic and buy plants, I either forget to water them and kill them, or my recipe needs huge amounts and there isn’t enough on the plant.

[qrn]

I tossed out a chicken carcass yesterday. I didn't stick it in the freezer for stock. I had the thing in my hand, and really couldn't picture myself making stock anytime soon (it's barbecue season, for the love of corn!). I chucked it.

.

I just tossed 5 or 6 because I needed freezer space for other "stuff" that will probably get "tossed" as well.....

Bud

[Lapin d'Argent]

Lettuce!

Oh, God, the lettuce, the lettuce. Why did you have to bring that up? How many an innocent, organic head has wilted at my neglect and inability to buy paper towel? The shame, the shame.

Nevermind the cilantro.

Dear Lord -- I hear you ladies! If i were to do an archaeological dig in my fridge right now, I'd find month old moldering romaine and gelid cilantro. I truly feel bad, as a first world lazy ass and a soi disant frugal cook. There is no health in me.

Thank you...I feel so much better. Not that I repent, mind you -- I'm much too hardened for that -- but apparently I sin in good company. The best greens will continue to go to the rabbits, not our dinner plates.

[nakji]

Is there some way to...you know, save lettuce? Preserve it somehow? Can it be cooked? Or made into a soup? Or should I just invest in some rabbits? Because evidently I'm unable to simply stop buying lettuce.

[David A. Goldfarb]

Lettuce will last a bit longer if you rinse it and roll it up in a damp towel. Cold lettuce soup is an option, though I've never done it. Mark Bittman I think did that recently in one of his Minimalist columns in the NYT. Here it is--

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/07/dining/07mini.html