Your Most Frustrating Foodie Moment

[Celine]

... they just couldn't believe I would *expose* the children to raw fish.

I love it. That's a classic. Fortunately not all my friends, and not even my foodie friends, log on to eGullet. I will get great milage out of that line at cocktail parties and dinner tables for a long time to come. Celine, you might just want to consider quoting it for your signature.

Bux, I'm glad you liked the pun. I hope you get miles of usage out of it. I think I will make it my sig.

Celine

guilty as charged...for *exposing* children to raw fish

[Celine]

My daughter's 3rd grade class had an "Around the World"...I took off work early the night before to go to one of the best fish markets in town and purchased sushimi grade tuna and smoked salmon, to be served with all the right condiments.

Wonderful of you to make the effort, but for 3rd graders (in Dallas?) it seems like a case of pearls before swine.

I did something similar once, but not nearly as good as yours. Daughter's birthday party, 7th grade. She had about 15 friends over; I was in a pizza-making phase at the time, and was recruited to make pizzas for the party. These were of course American-style cheese, tomato, pepperoni/sausage pizzas with olives, green pepper, etc. They were great pies, homemade thick crust, fresh basil and oregano from the garden, 4 cheeses, etc. I knew it was overkill, but had to do it my way. The reaction from the kids was at least favorable, and nobody hated it. It was the best response I probably could have received; I wasn't expecting anyone in that group to say, "Wow, this is fantastic! I'll never eat at Pizza Hut again!" The pizza was (at LEAST) very good, IMHO.

I asked my kids how they felt about that and they told me it was the other mothers who should be ashamed.

Excellent!

'Twas certainly a case of the old pearl/ swine here in Dallas. Next time it will be Paul Newman's Italian spaghetti, complete with toasted white bread spread with margarine and topped with garlic powder.

Your pies sound great.

Celine

guilty as charged...for *exposing* children to raw fish

[Rhea_S]

My office loves to eat. People bring in treats frequently and we have lunch or breakfast potlucks here at the office a few times a year. Most everything gets eaten quickly, but I did notice that someone had brought in homemade oatmeal cake last week and there's still half a pan left. I had a slice and it's quite good but perhaps too healthy-tasting. Someone brought two huge boxes of very good locally-made donuts yesterday and those are almost all gone. However, the big winner in recent treats brought to the office are grocery store iced sugar cookies (soft kind made with shortening) from this morning. The cookies were all gone by 9:30. I admit to eating two cookies because they were too adorable to resist (barnyard animals); however, they really weren't very good. The shortening left a funny feeling in the mouth and the cookies had too much baking soda.

[Six-pack-to-go]

if someone brings in day-old donuts from Safeway, they are gone in half an hour.

Some people are funny about homemade baked goods or other home made food. There are people in my office who wouldn't dare touch a homemade entree left on the counter from Wolfgang Puck much less Joe Shmoe. In their minds a "Safeway" donut comes prepackaged from a clean factory and is not tainted or dirty despite the fact that there is an FDA approved amount of rat feces in every bite. I chalk it up to personal OCDs so don't take it personal. It's all in their heads. Next time try bringing your desserts in a Safeway box and see what happens!

[Stephanie]

If anyone feels that their homemade goodies are underappreciated, bring them to my office. Absolutely nothing put out is left over, and I'm even talking about hours-old salads & sandwiches from client meetings. We have some really big gals in our call center and they take no prisoners when we have birthday cake or special lunches. You'd think everyone in the place was starving.....

[Six-pack-to-go]

Sorry last minute modification turned into double-posting... my bad.

[birder53]

I grew up on pretty standard fare. My mother was adventurous, but the rest of us resisted. One aunt was known as a good cook and would have big buffet parties to show off her skills. As a kid, we usually tried to find something that looked and smelled familiar! We did leave a lot of her food uneaten, but I know now it wasn't just because we were ignorant of "up scale" cooking or new foods. She was a bad cook! Her last family party was two years ago and we left looking for a good meal. She truly enjoys cooking and trying new recipes, but either her choice of menu or her skills are wanting. My opinion of her cooking is the same as it was 30 years ago! I'm not trying to start trouble, but could some of the food in question here not really be as good as the cook thinks? I fear posing such a thought to this group, but I'm basing it on my own experiences.

[nightscotsman]

I'm not trying to start trouble, but could some of the food in question here not really be as good as the cook thinks?  I fear posing such a thought to this group, but I'm basing it on my own experiences.

No, that's fair - you don't know me and I've never cooked for you. I'm not offended. I'll be the first to admit I take advantage of my coworkers as guinea pigs for recipe testing, but I would say that 90% of the stuff I bring in is tasty and generally superior to anything from a supermarket.

Let me give you an example...

This is a cake I did from a Pierre Herme recipe. It features fresh and poached blueberries, from-scratch lady fingers with a lemon soaking syrup, mascarpone mousse filling, and an Italian meringue topping. I thought the texture of the filling was a little grainy, but overall it was light and fresh tasting and not too sweet. This cake lasted for about four days (refrigerated) and about a quarter of it had to be thrown away.

By the way, I tried slicing the spice cake I brought in on Monday. The status report is: day three and there's still 1/4 of a (single layer, 8-inch) cake left. I still think pre-slicing is a good idea, though.

[cakewalk]

Sorry nightscotsman, but that will get you absolutely nowhere. I mean, that cake certainly looks absolutely gorgeous, but how do I know what it tastes like? I fear the only way to ascertain these things is to have a taste test. You shall simply have to mail a cake directly to me, cakewalk (the meaning of my name comes through!), and I will then tell you whether or not it passes the cake test. If I can't tell after one cake, you may just have to send another one!

[Six-pack-to-go]

It looks great. If only they invented taste-O-vision. Have you tried sticking it in a Safeway box? Jus curious maybe it is a bit deceptive and maybe, jus maybe it's a bit unethical to use you co-workers in a psychology experiment but you can not argue with results!

[Batgrrrl]

I can personally attest to the fact that the esteemed Scotsman's desserts are indeed all he claims them to be! In fact, I'm thinking about asking if there are any openings in his office, just for the chance of eating more of them.

In my office, this is generally no problem--but it's an academic office, and I think we never really lose that starving-grad-student-take-advantage-of-any-free-food-anywhere mindset.

But I have some very good, dear friends, a couple, who I have simply given up on cooking with--they're actually rather adventurous, so my complaint isn't in that line, but rather with the fact that they know absolutely nothing about cooking, and so everything has to be explained in minute detail, and it takes them FOREVER. Slicing half a pound of mushrooms? 15 minutes. I kid you not. I'm so pleased they want to learn, but I don't have the patience to teach them.

Another example? She was helping me frost a cake for a friend's birthday party--I gave her the frosting and a big spoon, turned away, turned back a minute later, no frosting on the cake--she looked at me, and asked, "how do I frost a cake?" Okay, okay, I know that yes, this is a skill, and there are mistakes that can be made, but for heaven's sake, it's not rocket science! Or as I like to say, since I teach literature, it's not reading a Dickens novel!

And then, once explained, it took her 20 minutes.

One more complaint about this couple--they are prone to bringing things to potlucks that sound simple ("we'll bring a fruit salad!") but then they show up with a bag of fruit and ask for:

collander to wash the fruit, and access to sink

towel to dry the fruit

knife to cut the fruit, and cutting board

bowl to serve fruit in

spoon to serve fruit with

And then that takes them 20-30 minutes to put together.

Which raises another question--potluck ettiquette! I'm definitely of the "bring everything ready to go straight on the table" school, or requiring as little prep as possible. Any other thoughts, or examples of egregious potluck behavior?

Batgrrrl

[Batgrrrl]

I just thought of another "problem" with the lovely dessert you featured above, nightscotsman--it's not chocolate. Our culture is sooooooooo heavily biased towards chocolate desserts, it drives me nuts. I mean, I like good chocolate as much as the next person, but I intensely dislike the way it tends to overshadow everything else on dessert menues--if we go out for dessert, most places will have several chocolate options and only a few non-chocolate ones. So do your chocolate things fare any better than the non-chocolate items?

Batgrrrl

[ivan]

This cake lasted for about four days (refrigerated) and about a quarter of it had to be thrown away.

before

[stellabella]

I think one of the reasons many of us are here is that we're starved for the company of people who love food.

amen

ladybug, i laughed out loud. all i can think is that the girl who got first place is perhaps the pastor's neice?

[nightscotsman]

I just thought of another "problem" with the lovely dessert you featured above, nightscotsman--it's not chocolate.  Our culture is sooooooooo heavily biased towards chocolate desserts, it drives me nuts.  I mean, I like good chocolate as much as the next person, but I intensely dislike the way it tends to overshadow everything else on dessert menues--if we go out for dessert, most places will have several chocolate options and only a few non-chocolate ones.  So do your chocolate things fare any better than the non-chocolate items?

Aaah, the chocolate paradox. The office people love chocolate. Therefore it is looked upon as extra rich/fatty/evil and I get even more complaints. Lemon squares would be eaten faster than brownies (unless they were from a mix or from Safeway, of course), even though lemon squares have arguably WAY more butter and "evil-ness" than brownies.

And I agree with the chocolate on restaurant menus. It often seems to be an excuse to get lazy and unimaginative. Chocolate sells and you don't have to do very much to it for the dessert to taste good. I'll almost always choose a non-chocolate dessert and it will often be more interesting and complex, because half the work hasn't already been done for the chef.

I can personally attest to the fact that the esteemed Scotsman's desserts are indeed all he claims them to be! In fact, I'm thinking about asking if there are any openings in his office, just for the chance of eating more of them.

Thanks - you're too kind. Even after you and Klink were victims of one of my experiments. The life of an evil scientist can be gratifying after all .

[col klink]

Nightscotsman, I'll be your guinea pig any time.

[malarkey]

I just thought of another "problem" with the lovely dessert you featured above, nightscotsman--it's not chocolate.  Our culture is sooooooooo heavily biased towards chocolate desserts, it drives me nuts.  I mean, I like good chocolate as much as the next person, but I intensely dislike the way it tends to overshadow everything else on dessert menues--if we go out for dessert, most places will have several chocolate options and only a few non-chocolate ones. 

ohmygod Batgrrrl!! if you knew how many times I've whined about this very same thing!!! TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE!! yes, I like chocolate, but every restaurant has 8 chocolate desserts and one MAYBE two non-chocolate. ok, so maybe I exaggerate a bit but this makes me so nuts.

nightscotsman, you go ahead making your blueberry cakes and your apple cakes and we'll eat them!!

[Schielke]

Some very good observations here.

That's the problem right there. You obviously work with a bunch of people who don't like to eat.

I think that's hitting it right on the head (ow).

There's probably a similar syndrome at work with the desserts: if I have to choose the portion myself, people will see how much I take and think I'm greedy, so I'd better take just a sliver.

Very true. And nobody will ever touch the last piece. They'll take half of it, then half of the half. Sorta like puting the milk jug back in the fridge with a few tablespoons of milk in it.

I think there's also this unspoken feeling that homemade stuff is richer and more fattening than store-bought. I'm sure that if I brought in fresh, homemade donuts they would sit for days.

I would be curious to see what would happen if you brought in some Top Pot doughnuts from down your street (you lucky bastard). I have noticed that some people are adverse to eating food that is prepared at home. This, however, is hard for me to believe since I have seen and tasted your creations.

Damn.

Ben

[nightscotsman]

I would be curious to see what would happen if you brought in some Top Pot doughnuts from down your street (you lucky bastard).

Several people have brought in the Top Pot goodies, and they get eaten quickly, but not quite as fast as the crappy Safeway donuts. By the way, does anyone here consider maple bars to be a treat?

[malarkey]

I think one of the reasons many of us are here is that we're starved for the company of people who love food.

wow, you are so right Bux. heh, good way to put it too, being *starved* for the company of people who love food...

[Schielke]

I would be curious to see what would happen if you brought in some Top Pot doughnuts from down your street (you lucky bastard).

Several people have brought in the Top Pot goodies, and they get eaten quickly, but not quite as fast as the crappy Safeway donuts. By the way, does anyone here consider maple bars to be a treat?

It seems to be a comfort level thing then. Some people are more adventerous than others...despite the alluring nature of your treats.

Another possibility is that your office is a big practical joke place and they fear laxitives in the Melody cake. You prankster!

Ben

p.s. maple bars are ok...I have yet to eat a really good one.

[Paulazuchef]

Nightscotsman, I'm soooo impressed with the looks of your cake. You obviously work with a bunch of philistines. You'd get way more satisfaction if you brought your cakes to a homeless shelter.

My most frustrating foodie moment was while eating at a wonderful restaurant in Ogunquit, Maine this summer called Arrows. This place has an incredible organic garden, smokes their own fish, makes their own prosciutto etc. The couple next to us seemed nice enough but just did not appreciate what they were eating. The husband ordered the cedar planked salmon and when he finished it the wife insisted that the plank was edible. The husband disagreed but she insisted and wisked it off his plate and began gnawing away at it. I just looked on in disbelief and thought...these poor people are waisting their $200 and she's going to have quite a Dentist bill when she gets home to PA.

[Ladybug]

Stellabella, actually the girl who won first prize for her dirt cake is the pastor's daughter-in-law. But I really don't think that had anything to do with it! The pastor didn't vote. But I think a couple of family members did . . . Hey! You're making me feel better! I never thought of that! Nepotism sounds a lot better than my dessert being unappreciated. Either way, I still got a kick in the pants when I probably needed it most. Now I humbly present my desserts.

[nightscotsman]

The husband ordered the cedar planked salmon and when he finished it the wife insisted that the plank was edible.  The husband disagreed but she insisted and wisked it off his plate and began gnawing away at it.  I just looked on in disbelief and thought...these poor people are waisting their $200 and she's going to have quite a Dentist bill when she gets home to PA.  

Get. Out.

Did she swallow?

[col klink]

I hope I don't have to report this to one of the moderators.